Nuke the News: Gloat

Posted on June 6, 2012 11:00 am

* The left are dealing with the Wisconsin defeat in different ways. There’s depression. There’s denial. There’s anger of course — I mean, what are the left without lots and lots of anger at everyone who disagrees with them. But anyway, whatever their reaction is to grief, there’s one thing that’s similar: It’s all delicious and we love it.

I mean, they really stuck their necks out here. The dwindling unions spent a countless fortune on getting this recall election, and all it amounted to was a huge affirmation of Governor Scott Walker and the tough decisions he made. And next for the unions… nothing. That’s it. It’s over. Maybe they should go scope out a space in the Smithsonian.

Exit polls showed that Wisconsin is still out of reach for Romney… but the exit polls also showed a 50/50 race when the final count was 53% to 46%, so who knows. Democrats have to be worried about a possible landslide in November, and if you’re wondering what would be sweeter than this Wisconsin victory, it’s Obama being kicked out of office by a huge margin. “Now scram, Barry, and take your hope and change with you!”

* Some people are wondering if Bill Clinton is rooting for Obama to not be reelected. Clinton has talked up Romney’s business experience, and now he’s called current conditions a recession while saying they need to extend the Bush tax cuts for everyone. One similarity between Clinton and Obama is that both of them at their core are petulant children. Clinton’s worry is being upstaged by Obama, but I don’t see how that can happen. Clinton’s legacy is presiding over the country during a time of prosperity and peace while achieving nothing much of long lasting effect and then getting impeached for being a slimeball. No one can take that away from him. And I doubt the huge disaster that is the Obama presidency will make Clinton’s term seem any less significant than it already is — if anything, it makes Clinton look a lot better. Clinton should really support incompetent people like Obama because it really will help with the curve when people grade his presidency.

* Michelle Obama applauded Bloomberg’s soda ban — no surprises there. But it’s not right to attack the First Lady for her beliefs because she’s not an elected politician and is just a dumb broad. You should just pat her on the head and say, “It’s good you think things.” That’s being polite.

* Taco Bell made a taco with a nacho Doritos shell, and it is now the most successful taco ever in the history of the Milky Way galaxy, selling 100 million in its first week. This caused Mayor Bloomberg to scream and shake his tiny fist in anger, and he’s threatening to take away the Locos Tacos unless we can guess his real name in three days.

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13 Responses to “Nuke the News: Gloat”

  1. MarkoMancuso says:

    Random thought: Today is the greatest day in American history. Yes, I will take this day even against Independence Day.

  2. silaS marreD says:

    They have been testing the Doritos Taco in my city for months now and it was very disappointing. Don’t get your hopes up.

  3. zzyzx says:

    Bloomberg’s real name is Rumpelstiltskin…but you didn’t hear it from me.

  4. zzyzx says:

    My guess is that Gwen Moore is singing the blues this morning. Well, what goes around comes around. ‘Nobody knows de troubles Ah seen, nobody knows ma sorrow’………….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Z9XhetTLw

  5. Ernie Loco says:

    To me, Clinton’s legacy will always be questioning the definition of “is” and teaching a generation of elementary school children about oral sex.

    Hmm, not a particularly positive legacy is it?

  6. Harvey says:

    RE: #4 – Note to John King: It’s “Tom” Barrett, not “Ted” Barrett (muffed at the 8 second mark in the video)

  7. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    The sounds of much wailing and gnashing of yellowed, cracked teeth emanating from the hippie enclaves up and down both coasts…from LA to Seattle, Boston to DC…high-pitched, wheezy, and ever-plaintive in their mourning of this loss…ahhhh, ’tis music to my ears!

  8. LarryE says:

    The left is dealing with their loss in Wisconsin like Pee-Wee Herman falling off his bicycle: “I meant to do that.”

  9. Iowa Jim says:

    You should just pat her on the head and say, “It’s good you think things.”

    But don’t you turn into a hippie or a community organizer if you touch her?

  10. me says:

    Two things.

    1) If the Milwaukee PD were serious about threats, people would be having officers show up at their house right now. Why do I say that? Because that’s exactly what would be happening if B.O. was targeted.

    2) Could someone explain how voting for Walker was racist, since his opponent was white also? Or was he like 1/92084902342th black?

  11. me says:

    Iowa Jim – No. But you do get scabies.

  12. Critter says:

    for me, Clinton will always be asscoiated with a certain blue dress. ooh gross.

  13. 4of7 says:

    Hit the road, Tom. And won’t you please take Gwen Moore?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7oQwMwT3m0&feature=related

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