From Twitter (your search results may vary):
_______________
#NSACalledToTellMe the 60,000-mile warranty on the car was expiring. To avoid a drone strike, time to extend it.
#NSACalledToTellMe you all haven’t been paying attention for 12 G** D*** years & suddenly it’s all Obama’s fault? Wake up!
#NSACalledToTellMe What Happens in Vegas, stays in our Utah data center.
#NSACalledToTellMe I shouldn’t worry cause they’re only targeting terrorists. Oh, and the milk in my fridge is past it’s sell-by date.
#NSACalledToTellMe that I left my garage door open this morning but not to worry, they’ll close it when they leave.
#NSACalledToTellMe they want to survey how my wiretapping experience went. Customer service is important to them.
#NSACalledToTellMe Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. But I listen to all your phone calls. So call anyone, maybe.
#NSACalledToTellMe Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I’ll be watching you…
#NSACalledToTellMe my phone bill is due: I told them: you pay it… you’re on it more than I am…
#NSACalledToTellMe YGDFT!YLTATSOTE!
#NSACalledToTellMe it’s time to change the cat’s litterbox.
#NSACalledToTellMe the water-heater is about to break down.
#NSACalledToTellMe there’s $2.46 in assorted coins under the cushions of my couch.
#NSACalledMeToTellMe The coincidence of NSA’s first priority being Muslim outreach doesn’t mean I’m not an idiot for confusing them with NASA.
#NSACalledToTellMe that I’ve worn that frayed underwear long enough.
#NSACalledToTellMe that MySpace is the new social media hub.
#NSACalledToTellMe that Miami and Sharapova are sure things.
#NSACalledToTellMe I need to make sizeable donations to both PBS and Organizing For America or the puppy gets it!
#NSACalledToTellMe there’s no such agency in Ft. Meade, MD., it’s not monitoring me, and wouldn’t it be better if the toiletpaper in the upstairs master bath was hung in the correct overhand manner?
#NSACalledToTellMe the popcorn in the microwave has popped.
#NSACalledToTellMe those hemorrhoids look painful!
#NDA Called To Tell Me that my monthly allowance of IMAO is almost expired. And because of that, I am risking an audit
Joke about it if you can, but this morning my carbon monoxide alarm started chirping at me. I replaced the batteries. when I returned to the computer there was a pop up ad from Amazon selling batteries. And I have tape over my computer cam.
#NSACalledToTellMe that I left my empty coffee pot on, my toilet needs cleaning and I need a hair cut. Crap, they’re right!
#NSACalledToTellMe that Lindsey Graham says I only have to worry when the Terrorists call me.
Oops, I just got a wrong number from someone speaking Arabic.
#NSACalledToTellMe Yo Mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said “to be continued”.
#NSACalledToTellMe that the parish priest isn’t giving out enough Hail Marys when people are in the confessional.
#NSACalledToTellMe that the Marlins will take the NL pennant.
#NSACalledToTellMe that #5 Across is Icositetrahedron.