Jim of Yrghyz, Kazakhstan asks:
What were your parents thinking when they decided to name you Frank?
My parents didn’t name me Frank; I was given a much more horrible name. I guess it was out of spite, because my father was inflicted with the name as well, as was his father. To follow the tradition, if I one day have a second son, it will become his name. That’ll teach the brat.
Todd K. of Camiri, Bolivia asks:
Why did 80’s metal bands have such bad hair?
As we all know, music reached its peak in the eighties, and all music afterwards and before it pales in comparison to its synth sounds. God, in His infinite wisdom, could not let things be too perfect, and thus inflicted 80’s rockers with bad hair. As the hair changed, though, so did the music, and thus we are inflicted with the bland tunes that are popular today… except for Eminem, that is; he’s a genius.
Sandra of Nyala, Sudan writes:
So, I’m homeschooling my 8 year old son and discussing “infinity” when he says: “Ok Mom, so there isn’t a number for infinity, just a symbol. So, what is THE NUMBER just before you get to infinity?” He’s got me there. So, Frank “What IS the number just before you get to infinity?
That’s a great question, and it shows your son is using independent thinking that could one day lead to him being a great scientist or supervillian.
The short answer, of course, is infinity minus one. That’s hardly satisfying, though, and the real question can be how do you get from infinity back to finity. Now, I hold the unorthodox view that infinity multiplied by zero equals one, i.e., infinitely everything multiplied by infinitely nothing equals finite. This often gets me shouted down at conferences of mathematicians where they say things like, “You’re not a mathematician, you’re just some idiot who snuck in here,” and “Hey, aren’t you that psycho who was spouting on about Optimus Prime last conference?”
Their jibes won’t stop me in my quest for mathematical truth, though. One thing to keep in mind it that there are different sizes of infinity; for example, the infinite amount of integers is a smaller infinity than the infinite amount of irrational numbers. Corresponding to this, there are different levels of zero, some zeros more zero than others. You may be saying I’m getting zero confused with infinitesimals, but to that I say, “Feh.” (for those of you who don’t know what an infinitesimal is, just know that it’s a mathematical term that I know and you don’t which makes me smarter).
So, in answer to your question, the greatest finite number is the largest infinity (the most infinite infinity) multiplied by the least zero (the least zero of all zeros).
Your son may now be saying, “That’s just a bunch of gobbledygook; this Frank J. is full of s**t.” Smack him and wash his mouth out with soap.
UPDATE: Two more questions.
Wind Rider from Baja, Hungary asks:
Hey Frank, do people send in these questions or do you just make them up?
So far, I have yet to make up a question (they are edited for grammar, though).
Fritz from Choyr, Mongolia writes:
Former Clinton advisors, James Carville and Mary Matalin will be lecturing at the Monterey Conference Center tomorrow as part of the Sixth Annual Panetta Lecture Series. The topic is “Politics and People During Crisis.” During the brief Q&A session, I will be able to ask them ONE question. What should I ask them? Perhaps you and your readers can help.
I’d ask them the infinite number question, but perhaps my readers have some better suggestions. Please put them in the comments to help out Fritz; he needs the question by tomorrow.
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
Ask Mr. Carville why anyone should pay attention to a man that looks like a lizard.
Ask them if they had bad hair during the 80s.
I don’t think Carville HAD hair in the ’80s.
Here’s one:
Ms Matalin; James Madison once noted, in one of the Federalist Papers, that “crisis is the rallying call of a tyrant.”
In the period following 9/11 we, as a nation, were certainly in a crisis.
Yet, the recent legislation — written by the Justice Department — that allows infringements on liberty, privacy and due process for the sake of federal investigations is oddly called “The Patriot Act”.
Remembering the words of Madison, and presuming that “patriotism” inherently implies a willingness to defend Liberty, my question is; Do you believe that the Patriot Act should be repealed by applying Truth-in-Advertising laws to the Federal government? Or, at least, forcing a name-change to, say, “the Enough With This Freedom Crap Already Act”?
For Carville:
Was that really you playing the banjo in “Deliverance”?
You and that time cube guy would get along nicely.
Fritz should ask a question that makes James Carville’s head explode. Just ask him to put a wastebasket over it first. It’ll cut down on the splatter.
Fritz,
Maybe you should ask Carville to shut up – permanently.
Of course that wouldn’t speak well for your manners, so you might want to ask him why the Democrats are more willing to believe the enemies of the United States (and in the case of some, make a special trip to consort with same) than they are to believe the President and Commander in Chief.
Fritz, you should go way off topic and ask them which one more adequately pleasures the other in the sack. Actually, the thought of them doing it kind of turns my stomach, but ask ’em anyway! Remember when we used to get thrown out of all those frat parties in college? I imagine it will be kind of like that! Do it! Do it! I double dog dare ya!
Well, we now know which one of you two is the evil twin.
Actually, I recall that we got thrown out of those frat parties because you’d always take along a 12-pack and refuse to share.
Ask Mary Matalin if she lost a bet on who would win the ’92 election and if that was why she had to marry Carville. And give her my sympathy.
Ask them if there is a political question to which they both have the same answer. Ask Carville if that makes him a bourgeoise capitalist tool.
Ask James why hes such a flamer, than tell him hes an evil scary man, throw somthing at him and run away laughing very sinister like
Scary, Frank. You actually are smart.
“One thing to keep in mind it that there are different sizes of infinity; for example, the infinite amount of integers is a smaller infinity than the infinite amount of irrational numbers.”
Galileo didn’t realize this. No one did until the genius of Georg Cantor in the 19th century.