Jake D from Sunny Melbourne asks:
If you punch a Frenchman in the face and no-one is looking, shouldn’t you do it again?
Of course! Keep punching until someone protests. Then punch that person. Keep ice handy.
RMH from Jacksonville, FL writes:
As you may know, there is a huge hurricane headed straight for the North Carolina/Virginia area. I am also sure that you are well aware that there are two major military bases in the vicinity. My question is: Do you think this is just an uncontrollable act of mother nature or is it perhaps an evil creation of the vast left-wing conspiracy in their attempts to harm our mighty military without being obvious about it and without having to take the blame for it?
If the liberals have gained the ability to control weather, that is cause for concern, but I think that the weapons of the left are still mainly whining and B.O. Mother Nature has always been a capricious bitch, and it’s up to us right-wingers to one day settle her and make her do our bidding. The environment is ours to control. It is our right.
As for our military men and women stuck on those bases, as a civilian I would just like to say: Stop being such a bunch of whiners. If you can’t handle hundreds of miles an hour winds, how you gonna kill for’ners? MY tax money DEMANDS you to be tough.
DES from Warren, MA writes:
I have a Siberian Husky. She’s not very well behaved. Do you think she might be a Communist?
Raising dogs can always be tough for outdated encryption algorithms, especially if you suspect your dog to be a Communist. Don’t worry too much, though, as dogs are very American animals and rarely ever are Communists. There are signs to check for, just in case:

Does she seem perturbed that others who go out and work all day make more money than she does sitting around all day and licking herself?
When offered a bandana to wear, will she only put on a red one?
Will she bark up a storm unless you turn on NPR?

If you seriously suspect your dog to be a Communist, you’ll probably have to pay good money for an obedience school. When she learns that being a good dog equals yummy treats, she’ll shed her Communist ways like her winter coat… but without all the brushing.

Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.