Woty from Nigeria asks:
Are there ever going to be more nuke the moon shirts?
I’m sorry, Timmy, but there aren’t any plans for more Nuke the Moon t-shirts right now. Because of their high quality, there is a minimal amount that can be made at once, and I’m not sure I could sell that many more.
But there are still a number of my new shirt design left. Buy now, before they’re all gone! Now!
Ford from Flint, Michigan writes:
Usama seems to like to release audio recordings and videos. Do you think it’s just a matter of time before he releases a video game?
That’s certainly possible. Wow! What would I do if buying videogames supported terrorism? I’d have to choose between my own pleasure and supporting evil. Now I know how drug users feel.
Adam from Utah (only for as long as is absolutely imperative) writes:
My sister married a hippie and becomes more and more liberal by the day. I don’t know what angers me more, the fact that the so-called “higher education” system helped make her this way or that she currently teaches french and infects young high school minds with the same worthless filth every day. What should I do?
Well, in our superior culture, we don’t support honor killings of your sister, so you’ll have to handle the problem in a more subtle way. If my sister were liberal, I’d hit her with a stick (you hear that Sarah; if Hollywood turns you liberals, prepare for a stick hitting). Instead, you could use a painful, high-pitch signal each time she makes a liberal statement to try and train her. Also, you could hold her eyes up open while forcing her to watch images of French cowardice while Beethoven music plays. Whatever works.
Savannah McClelland from Lake Worth, FL writes:
My step-dad is a liberal. My mother is a conservative. They argue a lot, and it’s really difficult for me to deal with. You see, secretly, I’m a conservative myself, but I feel really bad always backing up my Mom. Kind of guilty, too. I mean my step-dad is nice and all; is it really his fault he’s wrong? The other day, my Mom found a high-powered hose, because my step-dad was chanting “Hell no, we won’t go!” and you know what, he still hasn’t recovered. But I did hear him say,”mumble mumble mumble neocon mumble…” as the ambulance was carrying him away. What should I do?
Wow! Are you related to Scott?
Hmm, seems like a lot of people are having problem with liberals in their families. My parents never allowed any liberals in ours, but I guess I was lucky. As for your situation, I guess you can’t break his kneecaps, because there’s like a Commandment saying you have to honor your mother and father, and it might also apply to step-dads (if you run into Jesus, have him confirm this). Hitting him with the high-powered hose was a good start, but more is needed. What I think there really needs to be is a support group for people with liberals in their family and a hotline you can call for advice. Someone give me millions of dollars and I’ll get that started nationwide.
Alex from Ye Olde England writes:
Greetings from the UK – I’m at College at the moment and am having to make a big decision – do I join a military/police reserve unit and do my bit for the War on Terrorism, or do I keep on writing right wing articles for my college magazine/generally disrupting commie activities on Campus (which I wouldn’t have time for and wouldn’t be allowed to due to regulations if I did join up)?
I’d say join. If you don’t get in the military and kill terrorists, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Plus, since you live in England, it will be like your only chance to fire a gun.
Jamie R. Jacoby from Hunt, TX writes:
I went to see “The Last Samurai” and the ninjas really scared me. Have you seen it or is the thought of really scary ninjas just to overwhelming for you?
Of course I saw that movie. There is no reason to be sacred of ninjas when samurai are about. That’s why you don’t need to be afraid of ninjas when I’m around. Hai!
Lou Windsor from the military writes:
A few of us military guys have a question:
After a long day of ruling the world, we like to relax like the next guy. Should we drink a beer and risk getting a bit bloated, or should we stick with the bourbon?
Also, as a follow up question:
Cluster bombs or frags?
I think our military men and women deserve bourbon, so stick with that. Actually, I’ll donate money towards it (I’ll funnel it out of the money for the support line for people with liberals in their family; don’t tell anyone).
As for your second questions, I’d pick cluster bombing the enemy over fragging your superior officer.
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
If Osama releases a video game…well, it depends on its ESRB rating. And who he’s getting to develop it. Is it EA (good), Namco (very good), Sega (bad), or Jaleco (very bad)? I’ll have to wait and see.
Oh, yeah: FIRSTUS POSTUS!
Frank, I cant believe you missed this obvious solution to Adam’s problem. In order to destroy evil you must attack the root of evil. The target is not his sister. The real benefit would come from kneecapping the hippie brother in law with a clue bat!
Frank,
Lou was not referring to the fragging a superior officer (that Vietnam ritual of rolling a grenade into his foxhole/tent/whatever).
He was talking about fragmentation bombs versus cluster bombs. For shear coverage, I would have to say cluster – more, but smaller, detonations spread over a wide area as opposed to one, large detonation source.
As much that can be said about the usefulness of clusterbombs vs. frag bombs, I think you will see the light when you realize that we need to be dropping Big Blues (BLU-98). A lot more fun when you have enemy infantry targets.
Sleeper beat me to the correction Frank. But I’m curious; why would you even think he was referring to fragging his superior? When I read that I was surprised by you even drawing that conclusion.
Maybe you have some deep-dark hippie tendencies. Maybe our beloved Frank J. has been kidnapped and replaced by an evil clone. Or at least a clone not familiar with explosive devices.
It’s called a joke. Sometimes I make them on this site.
Nice recovery, Frank. Unconvincing, however.
On a technical note, cluster bombs are best suited for soft targets, like trucks, or troops in the open. Fragmentation and blast weapons are better used against harder targets.
Of course, the best of both worlds is available in the ever popular CEM, (combined effects munition) which combines shaped charge submunitions for armor piercing as well as crowd pleasing anti-personnel shredding attributes.
These were used with great effect on the Kuwait-Iraq highway in the first gulf war against the retreating Iraqi army. It annihilated not only the Iraqi armor, but also all the low life scum suckers trying to make it back to Bahgdad in stolen BMWs/Mercedes.
Not much left after repeated CEM attacks.
It was good of you to tell Alex that he should join the military adn fire guns. It is important for him to remember that he is only allowed to fire weapons when the U.S. tells him to. When Brittish people start shooting on their own they tend to get uppity and the next thing you know, another part of the Common Wealth is on it’s own. Remeber that, Alex, as long as you are an ally of the U.S., you can shoot all you want.
If Osama did create and market a video game, it’s doubtful that one would have to worry about him breaking a sales record or anything. Who’s going to buy a game called “Grand Theft Camel: Jihad City”?
Grand Theft Camel would kkick ass.
A more likely game would be called Jihad and would be much like the old game Lemmings. As one of Osama’s Muckety-Mucks you would have to guide your little suicide-bombers around and make sure they put on bombs and then went to the right targets without accidentally blowing themselves up. Oops! One just exploded around twenty of his bomb-laden friends. No virgins for him!
(Just noticed “bin Laden”/”bomb laden”, hmm?)
What ever happened to a cocktail of munitions being dropped from our invisable planes? When did we decide to go totally one way or the other? A nice 50/50 ration of the two would suit most targets fine, if that doesnt work send in a B-2 equipped with a full payload of B-61 thermonuclear-tipped bombs. That ought to kill them foreginers good.
B-61’s, eh? As much as I’d like to see our enemies turned into giant Geiger Counter Dreams, I think a more appropriate course of action would be to use the new CBU-97/B Sensor-Fuzed Weapon. The CBU(Cluster Bomb Unit)-97/B is loaded with SUU-66/B tactical munition dispensors, which contain 10 BLU-108/B submunition. These in turn are comprised of four projectiles that, once released, seek out their own targets. The projectiles are copper skeets with high explosive on top that use an infrared sensor to find a target. When the target is found, the high explosive detonates, liquifying the copper. The molten copper slug punches through the armor of its target and generally ruins its day.
Stinki,
In reguards to your threat to hit me with a stick, I have the following question: what magical powers do you plan to acquire to save you from the ass-kicking that will surely follow?
Please keep in mind that I too have a “Nuke the Moon” shirt.
Love,
your sis
How am I supposed to get a “Nuke the Moon” shirt for my husband for his birthday if you’re not going to make any more?? I haven’t seen anyone in this neck of the Maryland woods wearing one so stealing it is out….
Liberty Bob,
I have fired guns before…we do have a British NRA, it just isn’t as fun as the US one 😉 But yeh I would get more hardware to play with and training generally in the military. Unfortunately the next sign up date is not till October (they only recruit at the start of each academic year)…am sure I can find useful ways to occupy my time until then like the aforemention articles etc. BTW I am planning to emigrate to your country ASAP….there’s too much abt the UK that pisses me off!
Cool, Alex; we’re always looking for more kick-ass Americans.
Very cool, Alex. Well, here is your mission for admission into the States.. You must bring me the balls of one Frenchman, and the spine of a German. Then you will truely be an American.
clusters??frags??B-61’s????
screw it.. nuke them
Frank, I think you seriously underestimate the popularity of the Nuke the Moon T-shirt. (You sold out 2 days after I read the essay)
Why don’t you ask how many people are interested? You might just have to sell another round of them… I’d get at least 2, maybe 4, depending on how close to gift giving occasions I could get them. (And if my friends see them,… you might very easily sell out again)
Morphius Kane, why do you need the balls of a Frenchman. Don’t you have your owns ?
Frank J., you never make humor. You only parody your reality.
America is not safe into your hands.
Lu-Tze says: “Only a dimwit muckadoo would fail to appreciate the humor of Honorable J.-Sama…”
Bonsai!!!!
Bullshit
Casey, it’s BanzaÔ, not bonzaÔ. A bonzaÔ is a small tree. I know that people on IMAO are generaly short, but you won’t hit on the wit of your lowlessness.
It sounds as a carpet song mastro Lu-Tze. Are you eating the grass ?
Calm down there Titty. Go sell crazy somewhere else, we got plenty here.
thanx for the encouragement guys – hmmm lemme just take a look in my trophy cabinet, am sure I acquired those “items” somewhere, if not then I expect that I could find some in the old war relics that my ancestors got from WW2, Napoleonic era etc 😉
Lara
I also live in MD. Don’t you dare try to take my Nuke the Moon Shirt, as I will protect it with my life.
Demise, I wonder who’se crazy ? BanzaÔ was the Japanese warrior word to kill Americans. I know that there is a lot of fantasy on Imao to mix up all kind of people enemies and friends to turn it up into a very specific kind of fun, but still, you must be short minded to defend America with a bonzaÅ“.
As for your “go to hell” ralliement cry, I have not been asked yet by Frank to leave up. In fact, I am here for the revenche you all devils, and the revenche is to…
Leave IMAO with the French.
Titi McGluck:
Apparently you don’t understand subtle forms of humor. I was saying that in order to get into the country, he would need to find a frog with testicular fortitude(not going to happen) and a Kraut with a spine(also very unlikely). Let me tell an easier joke for you. How many french soldiers does it take to defend paris. Well, as soon as it happens, I’ll let you know.
Ahhh, Shockwave, you underestimate how badly my husband desires said shirt….if I saw said shirt, your life could possibly be forfeit. However, since I rarely venture outside my established zone in MD (beltway traffic just isn’t worth it very often), your shirt and life could be safe.
You’re not serious, right? this is a big joke, right?