STARRING
Tony Pentin as The Limey
Frank J. as American Frank
Created by Stupiud Bastrad Productions
Broadcast by the BBC
Logo by Tom Bux of The Nap Room
Previous Episodes:
Episode I: The Limey
Episode II: Return of The Limey
Episode III: The Red Letter
Episode IV: Jokes and Murder
Episode V: The Lime Turns Sour

In order to meet broadcast standards and make this appropriate for The Children™, all profanity has been dubbed over. All swear words that are a noun have been replaced with “ronin”. S**thole has been replaced with “superior”. Rage Against the Machine lyrics have been added to to make them happier.
Now The Limey has seen blood, nearly two hundred innocent people murdered, and he wets his pants with glee. Even he undestands American’s concerns for all people of the world, and knows that American Frank will not be able to brush off the jibing with simple humor. Thus, he writes his new e-mail, backround in red… the color of blood.

Hello, redneck. ETA have struck again!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
But you must understand that I don’t condone the killing of innocent people(although I’m sure some of them weren’t innocent. I bet there was a few greedy lawyers murdered in Madrid, which is a good thing. And a few George Bush sumpathisers.) but I support what ETA stands for. I don’t support the killing of innocent people by the IRA but I support the fact that they are on the Left. All the IRA want is a united socialist Ireland instead of Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. You should remember that Franco (he was the fascist leader of Spain for over thrity years) oppressed the Left in the Spanish Civil War from 1936-1939 and when he won the war and established a dictatorship he obviously pissed the Left off. So ETA was formed to fight the right-wing maniacs and they’ve done it ever since. It’s not as simple as ETA have bombed Madrid so they’re in the wrong. Listen, ronin this dispute between ETA and the Right-wing maniacs goes back about se! venty years! You should get hold of a few history books before writing your response to this! Then you should go and see a doctor – I know it will cost money in that superior country of yours with national health being privatised but I seriously recommend it. You are completely mad!
Here’s some Rage Against the Machine lyrics from the 1999 hit “Guerrilla Radio”.
At the end of the song they make refrence to a left-wing revolution – the need for a left-wing revolution. It goes like this…
It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here
What better time than now
All hell can’t stop us now (la la la la)
All hell can’t stop us now (la la la la)
All hell can’t stop us now (la la la la)
All hell can’t stop us now (la la la la)
All hell can’t stop us now (la la la la)
All hell can’t stop us now (doobie doobie doo)
www.musicfanclubs.org/rage/lyrics/guerrilla.htm
PS: I know I said I wouldn’t respond but I had to. You are clearly pissed off with the capitalist system receiving a good beating in Madrid! Ha! Ha!
I hope this continues. No wait…I KNOW THE LEFT WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT THE EVIL CAPITALIST ESTABLISHMENT!
It’s good to see I have left-wing support on your website. I’m sure you’ve seen the likes of XTREME ONE, Carl, Johnny Depp and the Spanish Militant posting messages and kicking right-wing arses in the process. They are part of the Left-wing coalition.

Will the simple backwoodsman, American Frank, horrified by the death and destruction in Madrid, give into hatred and respond with the anger The Limey and his imaginary friends so desire? Stay tuned…
Now the ignorant redneck American Frank slowly types out his e-mail, moving his lips as he writes the words to his response:

Hey Limey! I was so worried you weren’t going to write me back! How was your day? Has the left-wing revolution finished up yet? Here in America, I gave blood today to keep my fellow fascists alive. I have O- blood, so it will go to baby fascists… like some of which your friends killed, limey I guess if your a dedicated anti-fascist, it doesn’t matter the age of the person; if he or she doesn’t share your views, that person must be blown up. But why did they time the attacks to ensure that Aznar wins the election?
So are you celebrating that lots of innocent people are killed, limey? You seem to be waffling back and forth there a bit like John Kerry (who you said before was a fascist). Frankly the whole thing confuses me. I would have thought that people who indiscriminately kill others for the sake of their wacky viewpoints would be fascist, but you say they’re the fascist fighters. I guess that’s one of these neat things I learn from my limey friend. Maybe you could see if one of your Rage Against the Machine albums has a glossary so you could tell me what “fascism” means. I’m really curious, limey!
If only I could be a dedicated anti-fascist like you, limey, and celebrate lots of men, women, and children getting killed. That makes me sad… which I guess is part of my fascist tendencies.
Then again, maybe your wrong, limey. Maybe you’re the fascist. You celebrate things that makes people sad, and that has to be wrong. I think you’ve gone way too limey.
I know! You need a de-lime-ification! Here are the steps:
* Take a lime and stomp it to pieces.
* Enjoy a government certified American blockbuster movie like Die Hard.
* Admit that XTREME ONE, Carl, Johnny Depp and the Spanish Militant are all made up and that you have no friends (come on, they all posts within seconds of each other, have the same IP address – 193.195.78.98 – and it’s just too hard to buy that anyone else shares your limey views).
* Admit that Fascist McFascist does exist and is the founding member of Rage Against the Machine who make lots of money through the capitalistic selling of their albums, laugh at all the silly kids who take them seriously, and have whole fields of apricot trees they keep to themselves.
* Drink a Corona with a wedge of lemon in it instead of lime.
* Stand atop a mountain while a storm rages about you and shout into the air, “I AM A LIMEY NO MORE!!!”
Do all that, and you won’t be a limey anymore. If you continue on your path, though, I have a warning. There was once a whole empire called the Soviet Union based on your limey ways, and it ended up collapsing from the inside (with the help of an American B-Movie actor). I don’t see how a ragtag group with no support will do any better.
You can rage against the machine all you want, yelling and shrieking and it won’t care, but if you step over the line and do harm, there is no power greater than the rage of the machine. As Aristotle once said, “All rage and all political discontent if pressed too far will find a quick end from the burst of an M-16.”
We’re all praying for you, limey. Hope your de-lime-ification goes well.
Your Friend,
American Frank
P.S. On behalf of those dead, their loved ones, and all of Spain…
WANKER!

Will the limey de-lime-ify himself? Will he be able to define fascism as something other than “viewpoints I disagree with”? Find out in the next episode of…
THE LIMEY!