Our Military XVII

Cpl. Joe foo’ tells me that Ronald Reagan meant a lot to people in the military, as he always saluted. “One of the worst things than not saluting is not returning a salute.”
In a way, I think our currently fighting is an extension of Reagan’s optimism, that a brighter future is possible even a land that seems to have been war-torn forever.
Anyway, here are more explanations by readers of why they joined the military. I still have a lot of stories waiting to be posted, but, if you’d like to give your own explanation of why you joined the military or have a military story, please e-mail me with the subject “Military”. Thanks.


Jeff from Connecticut writes:

I joined the military in 1987. I don’t come from a poor family. I was not unemployed when I went in. The military was not the only job I could get in those unfortunate economic times. I enlisted so I could get money for college.
I was 25 when I enlisted in the Army, several years older than most typical recruits. I had gone to college for a couple of years, blew it off, then joined the working world. Once I came to my senses and realized that the best way to get a decent, good paying job in an office was through college, I was faced with a decision: I could take 97 years of part time night school to get my degree (and that was an optimistic time frame, given my total lack of self-discipline), or I could suck up a couple of years in the military, take some classes while I was in, then get out and finish up my degree on Uncle Sam’s dime. I chose the latter course.
It worked out. I was in for over 6 years (I re-upped once so the wife and I could squeeze out a young ‘un), I finished college in 2.5 years and now I’m a corporate drone earning in the top quintile. For all of the weenies who believe that the military is the job of last resort for low-income or unemployed people, I know first hand that’s a crock of dung. Surely there are some people who went in for those reasons, but they were in the minority. Most of the people I served with were in exactly the same boat as I: looking for a way to fund college without saddling their families with the tab or coming out with a boatload of debt. Some folks liked the military life enough to make it a career. And a good career it is. You serve your country in an immediate, fulfilling, and meaningful way, you get to do all manner of cool things like fly in and jump out of helicopters and airplanes, you get 30 days of paid vacation starting from year 1, you are REQUIRED to shoot and blow up stuff, and you can retire with full lifetime benefits (pension, free health care, commissary privileges, etc) after 25 years. If you go in when you’re 18, you can get out when you’re 43 and have a whole other civilian career.
Is the military life hard? Sure it is. You endure long separations from your loved ones, you operate in all manner of weather and environments, you sleep (if you’re lucky) on the ground for weeks at a time, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, every now and again people try to kill you. But I have NEVER, before or since, felt the camaraderie and sense of duty that I felt while I was in. I’m proud of my service, and I’m grateful to those who are serving now.

El Jefe writes:

I graduated from Christian Brothers High School in May of 1981. I was working at Victoria Station (not Secret – unfortunately) restaurant for the better part of the previous 2 years. I had done the ‘American Dream’ by starting off washing dishes, moving on to salad bars, bussing tables, bar back, prep chef and finally waiting tables.
In late August I went off to college at Abilene Christian University in Texas. (Yeah, I know. Catholic high school and Christian university. Hey, you can’t say I’m not religious.) After the first semester I decided that college wasn’t for me at that time in my life. So, in the summer I came home to Sacramento and went back to work at the restaurant. After a couple of months it was time for me to make a decision. Either go back to school, move up to management at the restaurant, or something else. Back to school was out. Management was looking fairly good except I saw how beat down my friends were after spending nearly 80 hours a week there for not a lot of money.
The military was looking like a good option. My father, great uncle and cousin had all spent time in the Air Force. (My great uncle was a retired Chief Master Sergeant in the Army Air Corps and was in during the Bataan Death March – which he refused to talk about.) I thought about all the services and here are my reasons:
Army – Pro: Quick promotion depending on your career field
Con: Limited career fields that I was interested in
Marines – Pro: Instant respect no matter where you go/camaraderie/esprit de corps
Con: Same as the Army
Navy – Pro: Go EVERYWHERE in the world/good career fields
Con: Didn’t know if I could handle being on a ship for 6 months a year
Air Force – Pro: Lots of career choices/good world-wide locations
Con: Slow promotions
Oh, yeah. Pro for each was discipline.
I ruled out the Army and Marines for career choices. It was down to the Navy and Air Force. I went on ship tour in ‘Frisco and talked with the Petty Officers about their lives and ship life in particular. They showed me their living quarters and that basically sealed it for me. You see, I’m 6′ 5″ tall. Bunks on a ship are maybe 6′ long. You do the math. That and there’s 3 to 6 in each berthing. I lived in a dorm in college and I know how 3 guys in one room are. Yes, I could handle being on a ship (biggest concern was if I had the stomach/sea legs). No, I didn’t want to.
So, it was the Air Force. I went and spoke with the recruiter (who lied – which one of ’em don’t?) and he started spewing on about the ‘AF doctrine’ and all that. I knew better. I asked what career fields he had open. He looked at my education (honor role material) and noticed that I’d taken language courses in high school. He said, “How about being a linguist?” I looked into it and found that I would have a year in Monterey learning to be fluent in the language of my choice. Now, remember, this is 1982 and the Cold War was still on full boil. So, I said that if I pass the test to get in could I choose German? The reason is that I had taken 2 years’ worth in high school and that I knew I would get stationed in Germany and fly around on the AWACS planes. My dad said that it would be a good choice for when I got out because the CIA, FBI, and a number of civilian firms would be looking for that line of work.
To make a long story somewhat shorter, I passed easily, got a delayed enlistment (5 months), and went to basic in May ’83. Now, the week before I went in, I drove down to Texas to see some friends. On the way back I got 2 speeding tickets (I had a 1970 340 ‘Cuda at the time – easy mark). When I got to basic I had to go for a security interview to see if I would qualify for a Top Secret clearance. The interviewer noted that I got the tickets within 24 hours of each other and after I pled my case he still denied it to me.
This left me in a quandary. Get out, go back home, and work at the restaurant or see what other jobs were available. Home was not an option. I was offered the standard ‘open general’ options: Burger flipper, Fuels specialist, Weatherman and Cop. (Why cop? ALWAYS a need for those and with my heavy foot…). The last option was Computer Operator. In high school I’d taken a couple of programming courses and enjoyed it. So, I asked if Computer Programmer was available. The guy said, “Let’s see what you do on the test.” You needed 51 for Operator and 72 for Programmer. I scored 85. Guy still said, “Operator. Take it or leave it.” I took it.
Best damn decision I ever made.
BTW: I got my Top Secret clearance less than 3 years later because the AF merged my career field with another that required it.
P.S. My ENTIRE family lectured on and on about NOT going into the military in 1981. After I retired last April, not one of them wasn’t proud that I served my country for 20 years.

El Jefe, who sent this to me some weeks ago, happened to end the e-mail with a Reagan quote. I know I’ve seen it everywhere, but it’s worth repeating:

I hope that when you’re my age you’ll be able to say, as I have been able to say: we lived in freedom, we lived lives that were a statement, not an apology.

Connecticut Yankee writes:

I joined the Navy for several reasons, first, just about every male relative I have on both my mother’s and my father’s side of the family was either a sailor or a marine, (although I heard rumors growing up that one or two black sheep joined the army) as far back as the American revolution; a fact that my grandmother was always proud to tell us. She was a member of the DAR. My great grandfather was in the “Great White Fleet” of Theodore Roosevelt. So I guess it was a tradition in the family. Anyway, I am a little older than most of the people who write you, (although not ancient by any means, I love this site and have a great appreciation of your humor and talent, can anyone say free “Nuke the Moon T-shirt?”). [Ed. Note: Not me]
I was born in 1956 after my father returned from the Korean War; Navy of course. I grew up during the Viet Nam War and watched it every night as we ate dinner. During junior high and later high school, I watched as upperclassmen graduated and were drafted, then watched as my cousins went off to Viet Nam. I also knew that these boys were not being allowed to win and it sickened me to watch them fight, bleed and die while anti-war protestors undermined the country’s efforts and provide aid and comfort to the enemy (are you hearing me John Kerry and Teddy Kennedy?). I made up my mind that I was going to either enlist, if the war was still going on, after high school or somehow get into college and join after finishing my degree.
The war ended before I graduated from high school (1974), but I still felt a need to serve my country; must be in my DNA. Anyway, there was no way I was going to afford college on my own, my parents divorced when I was in the seventh grade, and in those days, child support rarely included college tuition. So I tired to obtain an appointment to the Naval Academy, but my grades didn’t impress my congressman we’re talking a “C” student, sports, student council and scouts. I truly think that GOD intervened on my behalf and I was awarded a full four year NROTC scholarship. My entire family was extremely proud of that fact that, even though all my male ancestors on both sides were Navy men, as far back as anyone could tell, I was going to be only the second officer; I had a great great uncle who was an officer in the Union Navy during the civil war.
Anyway, it was a great college experience. Utah, is a nice conservative state where short hair wasn’t out of the ordinary in the middle and late ’70’s; plus the skiing was fantastic! By the way, my NROTC Battalion, I kid you not, had a Marine GSGT who looked and sounded just like R. Lee Ermy of “Full Metal Jacket” and “Mail Call” fame. His last name was Pickles, so any of you who were in the Marines knows with a name like AND a Gunnery Sergeant, that he was one tough old son of a gun. Sgt. Pickles did 2 combat tours of Viet Nam, and I respected him. (However, that doesn’t mean that we didn’t have some good laughs at his expense; another story.) I mean this guy gave the same cadence as in FMJ for crying out loud. When I went to see FMJ, I sat there and laughed out load during the whole Paris Island section because it was so absolutely SGT Pickles! People in the move theater ! must have thought I was some nut case or psychotic loon!
The Navy was the best thing to ever happen to me. I received a top notch education, that I would not have been otherwise able to afford. I was commissioned and Officer and given great responsibilities which I took very seriously; much more so than I thought I would while I was in college. I met some of the greatest people in the world, real salt of the earth types. I got to run multi million dollar equipment right out of college; try that in the civilian sector. I could go on and on but I am probably boring you. Just one more thing though, and I think this feeling is shared by everyone who served; I would, in a heart beat, join again and volunteer for Iraq if they would take 48 year old out of shape old geezers like me. I’d especially join again if it meant I could take the place of one of the young guys over there now who haven’t had a full life yet, like I have.
Rockynoggin writes:
I’d like to say that I joined the military out of a sense of civic duty and patriotism. I can’t say that, though.
I had spent 3 years in college wasting time and money (my money, not that of my parents nor governments) and finally moved to Dallas to live with my brother and find work in law enforcement. I had wanted to be a cop ever since I was a kid. It was all I thought about.
I interviewed with every PD in the DFW area and not one offered me a job. Despite 3 years of Criminal Justice undergrad work and a clean record. Finally, after one interview in Plano, the officers broke it down for me.
“Look,” they said, “you’re not a minority and you have no previous law enforcement experience. You’re a good kid, but you also need to mature. Have you ever considered joining the military as an MP?”
I had not ever considered military service. But they assured me that if I did a tour as an MP, my Honorable Discharge would be my ticket to becoming a policeman in just about any jurisdiction I applied.
So, I pulled into the first recruiting office I could find – and it happened to be an Army one. I told the recruiter that I wanted to be an MP, and naturally he signed me up to be a Legal Clerk. He assured me that it was pretty much the same thing and that I could always change my MOS after I was in.
**NOTE: NEVER, EVER, EVER believe ANYTHING a recruiter tells you.**
Well, the upside was that the 82nd Airborne needed legal clerks, so at least I got to be a little hard core and got my wings and ended up with 25 or so jumps – including one from a Huey after PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course – required for promotion to Sergeant).
That was 1986. I ended up doing 4 years active, and then I got out on “Green-to-Gold” and finished my degree and got my butter-bar. I did 6 more years in the National Guard as an Engineer Platoon Leader and then Company XO. I got out when they said I needed to move to Battalion staff to make Captain – to me, it was only worthwhile when I was with the line troops.
So, I resigned and I cried like a baby when I got home after my last drill. I still miss the Army life.
I never became a cop. But I can say that joining the Army was one of the best things I ever did, aside from marrying Mrs. Rockynoggin!

Know Thy Greats: Ronald Reagan

As anyone paying attention knows, I was born in 1979. Thus, my first memories of a president were of Ronald Reagan. I only had vague notions of the international conflict going on, but I was reassured by the strong leader we had in office. He was just a talking head on the T.V. speaking about things way beyond me, but I still remember the reverence of knowing that was our president. That was the leader of our country against the evil Soviets. I remember it was my older brother, Joe foo’, who first explained Reagan to me as in first grade as they had their own mock election ballots and he was voting for Reagan. He even got in trouble once for exclaiming in class, “Mondale sucks!” I guess it was fitting he was the one who told me Reagan died, telling me over the phone as I hadn’t been following the news over the weekend.
When Reagan announced in 1994 that he had Alzheimer’s Disease, it was something known to me as my own grandfather was battling it at the time. Unfortunately, it’s not a battle you can win. Slowly the mind goes until the person you know is longer there anymore. It is not an affliction you would wish on anyone. Reagan did the only thing he could do and wrote one last letter the America public before he retired to home to live the last years of life with as much dignity as possible.
Now that he has passed on, a great chapter in American history has been closed. I’m not much for mourning, though, so I sent out my crack research staff to find out as much as they can about Ronald Reagan so we can celebrate his life.
FUN FACTS ABOUT RONALD REAGAN
* Reagan was born in the year 1911, the same year my favorite gun was designed. What the hell was its name again?
* As a lifeguard in his youth, Reagan saved 77 lives while letting 12 Communists drown.
* Reagan eventually became an actor, first falling in with the left-wing Democrats. Eventually he tired of them, though, and strangled the whole lot of them.
* Reagan made one movie with a monkey which he considered the low-point of his life.
* He helped expose all the Communists in Hollywood so they could be tied to rocks and sunk to the bottom of the sea – as was the custom of the time. Only if someone would do that now.
* Reagan got to know America by wandering the country, stopping briefly in towns to right wrongs with his kung fu skills and give speeches for G.E.
* He eventually got into politics by running for governor of California. An actor as governor of California? That’s crazy!
* Governor Reagan was so successful that it took until Gray Davis for Democrats to completely screw things up again.
* Reagan tried to run against Gerald Ford in 1976 for the Republican nomination for president, but in the end the Republicans thought Ford’s bumblingness was the best anecdote to Carter’s goofiness.
* Reagan got the Republican nomination to run against Carter in 1980 when Republicans became convinced that, if they didn’t vote for him, they would hurt them.
* Most speculate the turning point in Reagan’s campaign against Carter was the debate where he won the audience over with his charm by telling Carter, “There you go again,” and then proceeded to beat Carter until he cried like a little girl.
* Right after Reagan became president, Iran released its hostages. Some think this may have been part of some secret deal, the deal being that, if Iran released the hostages, Reagan would not kill everyone involved in the most horrible way he could imagine.
* When Reagan was shot in 1981, it only made him angry, easily letting him put in his tax cuts through a quivering, Democrat controlled Congress.
* The weird mark on Gorbachev’s head was from the first time he met with Reagan and they battled with swords. Reagan decided to spare Gorbechav’s life since he deemed him a useful fool to help him in destroying the Soviet Union.
* Reagan’s nemesis in Congress was Democrat Speaker of the House Tip O’Neil. Occasionally, Reagan would wait in hiding behind a bush and tackle O’Neil just to keep the bastard in line.
* Reagan’s aides told Reagan not to call the Soviet Union an “Evil Empire”, but Reagan couldn’t help it. They were just that damn evil!
* Reagan was known for keeping jellybeans at the table during cabinet meetings. When he didn’t like someone, he’d give him a special jar of jellybeans, where, with each handful of jellybeans, the victims would be getting closer and closer to the poison jellybean!
* The public was really moved by Ronald Reagan – not by him making them fear the Soviet Union but by giving the optimistic vision of what the world could be. The brilliance of the glory of this future America was so great that it caused liberals to shriek and hide in their dank caves.
* When the air traffic controllers went on strike, Reagan showed his firm resolve by trapping them in a quarry and releasing grizzly bears on them.
* When Grenada underwent a Communist coup and took American students hostage, Reagan quickly grabbed a .45, paddled a boat to Grenada, and shot all the Communists himself.
* Ronald Reagan once joked that he outlawed the Soviet Union and that “the bombing would start in five minutes.” In reality, it took a half an hour to start the bombing.
* When Mondale challenged Reagan for the presidency in 1984, there were plans to make Reagan’s age an issue. Reagan easily defeated that plot by saying in a debate, “I will not make age an issue in this campaign. I’m not going to exploit for political purposes my opponents youth and inexperience,” and then proceeding to beat Mondale until he cried like a little girl.
* Speaking of girls, the Mondale candidacy was notable for being the first with a female on the ticket. It was also notable for being the losingest campaign electoral wise by a major party, getting only 13 electoral votes with 525 for Reagan. Most news stations didn’t even bothering coming up with a color to show which states Mondale won.
* The only state Mondale did win, Minnesota, eventually rejected him in a Senate bid making him the only major candidate to lose in all fifty states. Not so great a record, but what have you done of note?
* Reagan’s uber-landslide victory was attributed to what were then known as “Reagan Democrats” and today are simply known as “Republicans”.
* Reagan was stereotyped as being senile and falling asleep all the time, but, hey, destroying Communism is hard work.
* Reagan’s tax cuts caused such an economic boom during the eighties that I got one of those Nintendo sets with the robot for Christmas.
* Reagan famously told Gorbachev to “tear down that wall” and then followed through by holding a gun to Gorbachev’s head until he chiseled down the entire Berlin Wall with an ice pick.
* There were also lots of synthesizers in music during the eighties, though Reagan’s involvement with that is sketchy.
* The Soviet Union bankrupted itself trying to compete against the American’s SDI, something Reagan only imagined after having some bad jellybeans.
* When it got out that Nancy Reagan consulted an astrologer, it caused great embarrassment for the White House… just as the astrologer predicted!
* During Reagan’s final years, there was a scandal about arms being traded for hostages. I’m sure if the people who got the arms weren’t particularly nice, though, Reagan made sure they were killed with other arms.
* Now that Reagan is in Heaven, we can be assured that, once we get there, it will be free of Commies and hippies.
Now, please share your favorite memories of Reagan in the comments section.
Rest in peace, Ronald Reagan. This country and the world is a better place for having known you.