There is talk about putting Reagan on the dime, the ten dollar bill, the twenty dollar bill, or the fifty cent piece. That would be hilarious, because then you could watch liberals whine each time they get change (or handouts).
First of all, let’s forget the fifty cent piece; when the hell was the last time you saw one of those?
As for the ten dollar bill, that’s like the nickel of the paper money world; of all the common currency, it’s the one you get the least of. Still, Hamilton could be arguably replaced since he wasn’t even a president; all he did was get shot by a vice-president. Even I could do that! Still, it would be nicer to have Reagan on the twenty; I’d love to go to an ATM and take out five Reagan’s.
But the dime seems like an best one because, if they just make it half of dimes, then it doesn’t have to go through Congress. Plus, then liberals will be less whiny because they still get there favorite president of the 20th century (well, some freaks consider that Clinton) while we get ours. And, the next time some liberal goes whining to you about how mean we’re being to terrorists, flick a Reagan dime in his eye. Now that would be cool!
Archive of entries posted on 9th June 2004
Good Work, Ronin!
The Pan threat dwindles. Perhaps in two generations, the enemy will be completely gone and the possibility of a planet of the apes made much less likely.
BTW, what does chimpanzee taste like and how is the meat usually prepared? And does one imbue one’s self with chimp evil by eating one, or does he protect himself from the evil wiles of the pan troglodytes?
(Thanks to the traitorous Willow for pointing me to this)
We Honor IMAO’s Advertiser’s with Our Presence
There is a new advertiser to IMAO, the blog Sworn Enemy, which says it is dedicated to the destruction of the enemies of freedom. Go check it out, as it is the duty of every ronin to check out all IMAO advertisers.
In other news, I’d just like to point out this great opening to Jonah Goldberg’s latest column about Ronald Reagan:
To summarize why I admired the Gipper: He was put on earth to do two things: kick butt and chew gum, and he ran out of gum around 1962.
All ronin bow in tribute to the mighty Reagan-san.
In My World: A Better Tomorrow
“Mr. President, you have the first opening statement.”
“The future for America is bright. If we stay the course, we will become an economic and military superpower of unimaginable size. The path to that future will be paved with crushed Commie skulls.
“Well, to put thing simplest, the economy is growing, the Soviets are scared of us, and you’d have to be a retard to elect the goofball standing next to me.”
“Mr. Mondale,” the moderator prompted.
“I plan to make hard choices for America if needed. I won’t be afraid of raising taxes if needed…”
“That’s it; I’m just going to sleep through this one,” Reagan exclaimed.
“Mr. President, you’re not allowed to interrupt during the opening statements,” the moderator said. “Mr. President? Hmm… apparently the President is asleep.”
“Polls show you won that debate,” Vice-President Bush said while holding up a newspaper, “Even thought you slept through it.”
“Next time I’m bringing a pillow,” Reagan remarked as he sat in his chair in the Oval Office. “By the way, who is the grinning idiot behind you?”
“That’s my son, George Jr.,” Bush said, “We call him ‘Dubya’.”
“It sure is fancy in here!” Dubya exclaimed.
“He hopes to be either a politician or a gas station attendant one day,” Bush said proudly.
“God help us all if he achieves either,” Reagan remarked.
“Maybe you could give my son some advice,” Bush suggested.
“If you want to be a good politician, son,” Reagan told Dubya, “You need to stand by your principles no matter what. You can’t let whiny liberals push you around and keep you from being focused on what’s important. Also, if you ever see a Commie, you need to wallop him good.”
“Thanks, President Reagan!” Dubya yelled and then left the office.
“Probably should have beat that kid more when he was younger,” Reagan whispered to Bush, “So what’s next?”
“Mikhail Gorbachev is here to see you,” Bush stated.
“Send the Commie bastard in,” Reagan ordered.
Bush left the room and then Gorbachev entered while clutching his eye. “Someone just punched me!”
“Quit your whining, Gorby!” Reagan commanded. “So is your evil dictatorship about to collapse or not?”
“You underestimate the power of the Soviet Union!” Gorbachev declared, “We will not bow to your commands! We will not…”
“It may be ‘Morning in America’,” Reagan interrupted as he stood up and approached Gorbachev, but it’s lights out for you!” He then grabbed Gorbachev and smashed his head through the wall.
“Not again!” Bush yelled as he ran into the room, “We’re trying to keep the deficit down, and all this drywall repair isn’t helping!”
“Defeating Communism is more important than deficits,” Reagan said, “Now what?”
“That scary man – your Middle East Envoy – is here to see you,” Bush answered.
Reagan sat back down at his desk. “I’ve been waiting for his report.”
Donald Rumsfeld marched into the office and threw a folder down in front of Reagan. “Here are my conclusions on the Middle East.”
Reagan opened the folder. “Well, just one page. Let’s see what is says…” Reagan put on his reading glasses. “Kill them all.” He looked to Rumsfeld and handed him the piece of paper. “Are you sure you don’t want to add anything to this?”
Rumsfeld thought for a moment. He then pulled out a pen and wrote on the paper before handing it back.
Reagan looked it over. “Kill them all… now!” He turned back to Rumsfeld. “Thank you for your input, Mr. Rumsfeld.”
“There’s a Commie stuck in your wall, you know,” Rumsfeld remarked.
“I was redecorating,” Reagan answered.
“I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I. Could you toss it in the dumpster on your way out?”
“Sure,” Rumsfeld answered. He then pulled Gorbachev out of the wall and dragged him from the office.
“That man just scares me,” Bush remarked.
“That’s because you’re a wimp,” Reagan answered.
“There’s a lot to be worried about,” Bush said, “It’s going to be a battle for reelection and…”
“Have a little faith, George,” Reagan interrupted, “No one is going to vote for that idiot from Minnesota and his lady friend. We’ll then keep this economy growing, destroy communism, increase our defense, and make an America so strong that it can not be torn down again… even if some lecherous hillbilly somehow slithers is way into the office sometime in the future.”
“Sounds good to me,” Bush remarked, “and hopefully I can continue your legacy.”
Reagan grunted. “Whatever. I’m going to get a T.V. tray and eat dinner while watching the Cosby Show. Yell for me if someone needs me to hit the button.”
Thank you Mr. Reagan for all the opportunities I have today, and God bless.