Vindication! Best of the Web points out today that Jackass: The Movie tied Fahrenheit 9/11 in its opening if you adjust for inflation. I’ve updated my orginal post once more.
Derbyshire (the coolest NRO writer) has a great math test joke at the end of this post.
Hey, there’s Michelle Malkin on Fox News right now as I type this. When do I get my T.V. appearances?
Sandor has a neat map of bloggers’ political views. It would be great if more high profile bloggers participated (hint hint).
A Joatmoaf sent this in as a contribution towards my documentary:

Everyone else get brainstorming. This documentary can either be done with videoclips or maybe a flash slideshow, but I’ll need others’ help to do it. It’s time to show the world how nuts the opposition is (and fat).

In case you haven’t seen this rumor yet…
I stick by a prediction I believe I said before that, if John Kerry has Hillary as his running mate and is elected president, he will have the distinction of the shortest term in office, mysteriously dying minutes after his inauguration.
Only question is will Hillary be cleaner about this one than she was with Vince Foster. And she better be careful, too; Kerry did serve in Vietnam, you may know.
UPDATE: Murder is wrong.
UPDATE 2: The comment about shooting Hillary was from a 13 year old who still needs some learning and was removed on request.

I have a great idea: Let’s do our own little documentary short about how wacked out and nuts the left is! I’m sure there are plenty of clips of liberal wackiness out there, but I wonder if some careful editing can make them looking even more nutty.
So, how does one get his hands on news clips for a documentary? All we would have to do is splice the stuff together and have some great narration by me with my deep, authoratative voice (I really should blog with my voice more, but I don’t know how to do hyperlinks when I do that).
I already have a great title: Michael Moore is Fat and Ugly: An Intelligent Look at the Left. The goal will be to show through carefully selected “facts” that all liberals are dangers to the society and want to kill us in our sleep and coddle dictators. Oh, and we’ll need to get some clips from Return of the Jedi for segments about Michael Moore.
So, anyone have film experience and know what to do and want to help? If we make it short and can get some film clips without too much trouble, doing this shouldn’t be too hard. Plus it should be fun!
Oh… so many ideas… heh heh heh…

Now that the IMAO exclusive debunking of Fahrenheit 9/11‘s supposed record making has been cited by Andrew Sullivan, a number of people have disputed my facts. I’ve updated the orginal post to say how I’m still right (my regular readers are probably saying, “Of course you’re right; you’re Frank.” If only others were so wise).
UPDATE: Question for my regular readers: The extra linkage has seemed to attract a number of muckadoos. Should I explain to them the humor behind comparing Fahrenheit 9/11 and Jackass: The Movie, or should I continue to watch them writhe and pretend to debate them on the merits like I did with The Limey?

Now that Saddam has been turned over to Iraqis, it’s time for a trial. Is there anything cooler than that? A once oppressed people now get to put on trial their former dictator; that’s a meme I hope spreads.
Being the humanitarian I am and much smarter than that bafoonish Eugene Volokh who’s never linked to me (even I’ve linked to me), I’m going to give the Iraqis advice on how to conduct their trial:
* Don’t shoot Saddam before he at least gets in his plea or there may be some cries that the trial is illegitimate.
* Invite people to be character witnesses for Saddam; anyone who speaks up for him should be the next target for trial and execution.
* Whether you let cameras in the courtroom or not should be based on how much you want this to be labeled the “Trial of the Century.” Just a reminder: since we’re less than five years into this century, this trial has a pretty good shot.
* Remember to wear black robes and nicely powdered wigs because it will make anything you do seem official.
* Saddam deserves his own defense attorney for a fair trial; you can always put his lawyer on trial later for helping a murderous dictator.
* Body slamming Saddam into a table doesn’t officially count as cross-examination, but it should leave a lasting impression on the jury. Would a prosecutor body slam an innocent man?
* Though the videotape of him having a kitten tossing contest is somewhat damning, focus mainly on the mass graves.
* It will be funny if you shave off Saddam’s mustache at put on a table labeled as “Exhibit A”.
Well, I’ll laugh.
* If Saddam shouts, “You can’t handle the truth!” be careful continuing; he might not be bluffing.
* If some Amnesty International types say that execution is barbaric, tell them that Iraqis law states that anyone objecting to execution also gets executed. No one knows what Iraqis law is; they’ll fall for it.
* Don’t allow any rhyming in the closing statement; that seems to have an irrational effect on juries.
* Before the jury goes out to deliberate, have the judge remind them that Saddam is a murderous dictator and deserves to die.
* If Saddam isn’t found guilty and sentenced to death, you messed up and need to start over and try again.
Now have a fun trial, Iraqis; you deserve it!