I have a great idea: Let’s do our own little documentary short about how wacked out and nuts the left is! I’m sure there are plenty of clips of liberal wackiness out there, but I wonder if some careful editing can make them looking even more nutty.
So, how does one get his hands on news clips for a documentary? All we would have to do is splice the stuff together and have some great narration by me with my deep, authoratative voice (I really should blog with my voice more, but I don’t know how to do hyperlinks when I do that).
I already have a great title: Michael Moore is Fat and Ugly: An Intelligent Look at the Left. The goal will be to show through carefully selected “facts” that all liberals are dangers to the society and want to kill us in our sleep and coddle dictators. Oh, and we’ll need to get some clips from Return of the Jedi for segments about Michael Moore.
So, anyone have film experience and know what to do and want to help? If we make it short and can get some film clips without too much trouble, doing this shouldn’t be too hard. Plus it should be fun!
Oh… so many ideas… heh heh heh…
Just be sure to include Hillary’s little talk yesterday on how we can afford to have our tax cuts removed for the “common good”. Ugh.
First.
“careful editing can make them looking even more nutty”
I’d watch it if I were you. Otherwise, Mr. Imperial Wizard Lamplighter (of your esteemed comment section) will accuse you of using flat-out lying soundbite montages (ask Imperial Wizard what the hell those are). He just doesn’t stand for that, as I’m sure you know.
If you haven’t already done so – check out http://www.michaelmoorehatesamerica.com ; looks to be a good movie!
Don’t forget to include Howard Dean’s whole campagin, when was he not yelling or making a fool or himself. Also rememeber to include alot of all american celebrities. Cher saying “blacks are stupid who vote republican.” The million Stresiand, Madonna (or Esther), sean Penn and the others who are so quick to shoot there mouths off, even if what they say makes no sense.
Don’t forget to add Dean’s Scream, that he now says Never Happened.
Al’s bug eyed, Hitleresque Digital Brown Shirt Screed.
Kerry’s 1970s testimony that “We cannot defeat Communism” Testimony before Congress.
Dan Rather’s Virtual Fellating of Bill Clinton on ’60 Minutes’.
Wesley Clarke’s meltdown during the Iowa Caucus.
The stump photo of Kerry holding a Philly Cheese Steak like it’s a Radioactive Dead Rat.
Moore and company had to edit 3 years worth of film to make a movie (even Moore knows that 2 hours of Bushisms looses it humor).
Liberals on the other hand, provide us with unlimited fodder. Hell, we have hours of radio a day to deal with the stupid things they say. Imagine how many hours of footage we’d have if we film the stupid things they do and goofy things they wear!
I suggest you start by watching “Kerry’s Coalition of the Wild-Eyed.” It’s a piece Bush put together of a bunch of crazy leftists shooting their mouths off. I’m sure it will give you all the ideas you need.
Opening Scene.
Michael Moore sits at a table. Eating. The whole table is full food. Opposite him is a skinny Ethiopian kid with a bowl of gruel.
Close up of Moore eating. (Movie becomes rated R if we do that)
We see the food in Moores mouth. excuse me.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF. Okay. Better now.
Offscreen voice.
“They say we are at war. That people want to kill us. That right and wrong – that good and evil exist. Hitler’s war killed 50 million people and forever changed the political landscape. We lost 3,000 Americans on D day alone.
Lenin killed 100 million people. MAO untold numbers.
These are my heros.
George Bush stood up for his people. ”
Food falls out of his mouth and onto the floor. He picks it up. eats it. Looks at the boy. “5 minute rule”
“George Bush took the fight to those who would threaten our freedom and our way of life. we have lost 800 lives. And because people don’t normally come back from the dead, that figure is growing”
“I hate George Bush. (looks at the bowl of gruel) Hey, are you gonna finish that?”
oooh!! fun!! can i sing the theme song?
Woot, woot! Rightwingduck has one hell of an idea…I say we go for it. I know where we can get some digital editing equipment at my school.
I think we need to rise above the left when it comes to this issue. If we show the …………………………………………….sorry I could’t keep a straight face anymore, so I will add my suggestion. I think showing Sen. Byrd in his Klan get-up would be perfect.
Accuracy my ass! I want something funny about these nuts!
Good thinking, rightwingduck.
I don’t understand what’s so funny about fat jokes.
Sincerely,
Rush L.
P.S. I also think jokes about drug addicts and Hollywood celebs who can’t stay married aren’t funny anymore, either. (Just in case that was going to be put into your sure-to-be-excellent movie.) Otherwise, carry on.
Fat jokes are funny.
I heard that the weight of Moore’s shadow once crushed a small child.
I think Michael Moore ate all of Rush Limbaugh’s fat. I mean Limbaugh is skinnier and Moore is now a huge fatty-fat-fat.
I’m not a fan of the fat jokes, either. Or of humor related to “youthful indiscretions” for that matter.
Cordially yours,
The Honorable Henry Hyde
P.S. Can’t wait for the movie!
Sorry about my behavior on your site, Frank. I’ll try to stop being a liberal whiner now.
Wow, so original. Signing my name (2:29pm) to a post I didn’t write. Zing!
I didn’t you right wingers were so thin-skinned.
“I didn’t know . . .”
Michael Moore really isn’t fat.
It’s just that he’s 15 feet too short for his weight.
He needs to get taller.
He should eat more.
Like, wow, man. I didn’t know you would see through my clever deception. Too bad you didn’t claim my words for you own. You would be doing yourself a favor.
No, I’m Spartacus!
Seriously, guys, lay off the fat jokes.
Best,
William Bennett & Tony Blankley
It’s not that hard, just follow the story from Animal Farm but put liberal film clips in to do all the parts. How hard can it be to get a bunch of them to act the part of pigs and sheep?
“All I can eat? The joke’s on them!”
–Michael Moore
It’s really important to use a lot of innuendo.
He does a lot of that.
Example.
setup.Nobody really knows what happened to the dinosaurs.
Next scene. Michael Moore cleaning his teeth with a toothpick.
Setup.Scientists are at a loss to explain the sudden increase in methane gas.
Next Scene. Michael Moore scratching his butt.
Setup. Nobody really understands why same sex marriage is starting to become a hot topic.
Next scene. Michael Moore standing and being himself.
There is just too much potential.
rightwingduck,
I like your moxie; you’re hired for this project.
So, does anyone know how you get film and news clips legally?
Frank,
Great. Have your people call my people.
Sorry, I’ve been living in LA too long.
We can always just do that slide presentation thing. Post it everywhere.
Set up.
Michael Moore has always been jealous of the skinny people in Hollywood.
Next scene. Picture of Jabba the Hut.
Frank,
I have some archive research experience. Basically, what you do is contact say ABC, SeeBS, or any of the other organizations that have the film, and request permission to copy it. The US government has lots of film footage
of just about anything and it is available for a modest copying fee. You will also have to credit them. Drop me a line if you’re interested in finding out more.
It costs a little money. But you can go to Conus or one of the stock film sites. You can buy a reel of 10 Michael Moore news stories for about $150. There may be other fees involved in showing the footage but perhaps not. By the way, I am a video producer and scriptwriter as well as a purveyor of Michael Moore fat jokes. So, I can be of some help if you wish.
Maybe I should have put my name and contact under the Conus story huh?
I hope to get some footage of Jabba from ROTJ and just change the subtitles to Michael Moore quotes.
Could do this as slides… hmm, so many possibilites. I’m really liking this idea.
Thanks for the info, Pinny; may need more later.
To Really Pissed off.
Sorry, the supreme court just defended your right to see all of that porno.
Frank, how come none of that stuff pops up when I surf your site. Are you holding out on me?
I have sent a small contribution to the cause.
Nothing to do with liberals, but still pretty frightening footage. Note to self: don’t fall asleep drunk or the monkey will love me.
Frank,
if Whitler doesn’t volunteer to do the film editing soon, then I can hold his essays hostage forever. Just an option…
Setup: Moore is worshipped at Cannes
Next scene: two young French girls talking to one another while cheering; subtitles “holy merde, he’s ugly”!
Setup: Larry King live interviewing Moore. “So, how’s the South Beach thing going”?
Outtake scene: As Moore shifts in his chair to answer, it collapses.
Setup: Thousands cheer in anticipation of the Moore speech at the Democratic National Convention.
Next Scene: As Moore steps up, his glasses fall and can’t be found. He can’t read the teleprompter, so he’s reduced to winging it.
Final Scene: A member of the delegation from Indiana is overheard saying “what a douchebag. God I miss Cuomo”!
Springfield’s C. Montgomery Burns is quite upset!
He’d hired Michael Moore as the town’s New And Improved Sun Blocker.
But there isn’t a crane big enough to lift Mr. Moore.
In the movie, could we have Moore be killed? have him play himself, and then film him being dismembered by capitalist samurai after being “accidentally” locked in a room with half a dozen of them. On second thought, skip the samurai. Just lock him up and starve him to death. Hang a cheeseburger just out of his reach. (I wonder how long he could live off of his own fat.)
I forgot where I originally read it, but my favorite title for a movie about Michael Moore is “Plan 9/11 from Outer Space”
You can send in requests to news stations and they might send you a copy. And maybe you should include something in honor of Reagan. Like after you play Kerry’s “Cannot fight/defeat Communism” speach you play Reagan’s speech where he tells the soviets to tear down that wall. It’d be so awsome. Hey can I be a critic for the movie?
Please check some relevant pages dedicated to… Thanks!!!