Michelle Malkin is really taking to blogging. Look at her pick up the lingo (heh). She even has started to allow comments on some posts, and I called first on one. Don’t I feel dirty now! And check out this awesome Rumsfeld quote.
As predicted, she already get more traffic than me, but plans are in the works…
Harvey has a great post on how humor makes us free. Heh heh, making fun of Hitler is funny.
John Hawkins has a list of his daily blog hitting. Look how IMAO is near the top. Smart people always check out IMAO. Remember that, smart people.
Finally, the du Toits daughter thinks I’m like a god, but in reality I’m just a demi-god. I’m working on it, though. Hmm… nice site design.
Archive of entries posted on 24th June 2004
Frank J., Wasp Hunter
I decided my first action today after getting home was to take care of those wasp nests on my house. So I grabbed my can of Raid, my hose, my bokken, and my courage.
First I went to take out the wasp nest in front of my garage, the most annoying one and always covered with wasps with nothing but evil in their hearts. I decided to try first spraying the nest with Raid to stun the adults before taking on the nest.
Big mistake.
The wasps instantly flew right at me. I thought I was going to be swarmed with those guys until the toxins took affect, but that was the last I saw of them. I hope they found a good place to die.
Now the nest was unguarded. On goes the hose.
The bottom part of the nest split off, spilling white wasp larva onto the pavement which then writhed in the sun. Die, you maggots. This is my house!
Whatever it is that attached the wasp nest to the house is a tough little bit of architecture. Thus comes the bokken. One true samurai cut finishes off the last of it.
Now to the back porch. There were two wasp nests that looked to have been started and then abandoned.
Cut. Cut.
Now on to the mud glob over my sliding glass door that is the mud dauber nest. Nothing was buzzing about, and it seemed to be abandoned now. Being that it was made of mud, the rapid application of dihydrogen monoxide quickly dissolved it. There only seemed to be one large larva left inside which was taken away in the man made storm.
Vaya con dios!
Our Military XX
Here are more readers explanations of why they joined the military and other stories. I’d like to keep this going as long as I can, so, if you’d like to give your own explanation of why you joined the military or have a military story, please e-mail me with the subject “Military”. Thanks.
Al from New Cumberland PA writes:
Two things:
1. I joined the military at age 18 because I was a little wild–in a blond, middle-class white guy sort of way–after high school. I didn’t want to go to college, my car broke down, I broke up with my girlfriend, my parents had just had a bad divorce that had followed a really bad marriage, and my Mom and I weren’t getting along. So I had her drop me off at a local mall, joined the USAF, and two weeks later I was in basic at Lackland AFB. Best thing I ever did–taught me self-respect, honor and dedication to something other than my own selfish needs.
2. We all loved Reagan, especially those of us overseas in the early 1980s (I was in West Germany). We sensed that he understood us and the seriousness of the threat posed by the Warsaw Pact. Also, he gave all of us a badly-needed raise in pay.
Here’s a Ranger story from jg:
Saw that Shazam! Story about the guy on guard duty.
Here’s one that I heard many years ago, from a couple guys that had been to Ranger School (can’t vouch for the veracity of it, since I wasn’t there).
Ranger School is pretty intense, lots of patrolling in God awful weather with insanely heavy rucksacks, not very much food and very little sleep — any time of the day or night.
Anyway, they’ve got a group of Ranger students doing a patrol in the middle of the night and they’re all exhausted, tromping around a thickly forested area — the footing sucks, can’t see holes or ditches – basically sneaking up on an objective. There’s always a Cadre member tailing the groups for grading purposes, making sure nobody gets hurt, lost or whatever.
So, one guy takes a tumble, there’s some clatter, and curses loudly. The cadre member is somewhere off in the dark and starts yelling, “who is that, who’s making all that goddam noise?!!” The guy that fell says, loud enough to be heard, “fuck you!” The cadre guy goes insane, yelling “who is that? Come over here right now!” The guy that fell says “you don’t know who this is?” The cadre guy says, “no, who is it?”
Then you here a chorus of “fuck you” and snickers from all over the dark.
I’m sure all those guys got smoked-till-their-elbows-broke afterwords, but it was pretty funny.
Here’s a warning from Malcolm about aviators:
Did you know that June is National NAS Awareness Month? NAS, or Naval Aviator Syndrome is a tragic disease afflicting many former Navy Airmen, and not a few civilians who have watched “Top Gun” a few too many time.
Please post these danger signs on your influential and respected website.
We’re NASSTY (Naval Aviator Syndrome SocieTY), and we can help.
Top Ten Signs your loved one is afflicted by Naval Aviator Syndrome
1. Always rides with one passenger. Passenger must sit in back seat behind driver and navigate. Passenger must answer to name “Goose”.
2. To depart house, parks car at end of driveway, applies brakes, revs engine to redline rpm, salutes smartly and pops clutch.
3. Welds pipe to front fender and connects it to gas tank. When the low fuel light comes on, announces “bingo fuel” and attempts to dock with a gasoline tanker on the freeway for “in-flight refueling”.
4. Paints crosshairs on windshield. Whenever a Yugo is aligned in the crosshairs, will depress 4-way flasher button and yell “Fox one”.
5. Feels uncomfortable unless accompanied on freeway by “wingman” who must drive one lane to the right, three cars back.
6. In case of engine trouble, will shout “Eject! Eject! Eject!”, pull the hood release handle and depart the vehicle through the sunroof.
7. Equips car with radar detector. When it goes off, throws tinfoil out the window and conducts “evasive maneuvers”.
8. When gassing up, requests attendant supply “0.12 thousand pounds of fuel”.
9. Purchases house with circular driveway. Enters driveway at 40mph. In the event the car is not perfectly aligned, shouts “Bolter! Bolter!” and accelerates out of the driveway at full speed.
10. Spends one day a week on the garage roof grading other drivers on their “landings” in the driveway.
For those wanting information on donations and how to help (it may surprise you who are the biggest donators to Iraq):
Hello! I am Specialist David McCorkle – 308th Tactical Psychological Company, back in the USA after serving in Iraq starting in March 2003 before the war began. I started an organization called American Aid for Children of Nineveh Iraq (AA-CNI), www.iraqkids.org last year while I was serving in Iraq with the 101st Airborne Division. AA-CNI’s purpose is to help the orphans and street children in the Nineveh area of Iraq as well as helping schools. Our focus is education, getting sponsored children back into the classroom and off the streets, helping schools with needed supplies, equipment, workbooks desks etc, and launching a safe house for homeless street children working with a partner organization called Concern4Kids.
This isn’t the story I am writing you about!!
The story I am writing about is our sponsors and donors! A majority of our donors are US Army Soldiers and US Marines as well as their Dependants and families. I received a letter about 10 days ago from the student council at the Rainbow Elementary School in Ansbach Germany. The students there raised over $100 dollars for us to send to Iraq to help a school there. Most of these kid’s dads are deployed in Iraq and in incredible danger. Still these children want to reach out and help the Iraqi children. We have sponsors taking on the responsibility of supporting an orphan or fatherless street child paying $60.00 a month from their military pay. Some of our sponsors themselves are deployed in both Afghanistan and Iraq. A lot of our sponsors are reservists and at least one is an MP. In light of the prison scandal isn’t this a story that needs to be told to the American people? I am so proud of these people I am writing to you about! I think if someone told the story America would be so proud too. For people interested in sponsoring a child, donating toward our other projects or getting involved please e-mail AA-CNI at info@iraqkids.org or visit our website www.iraqkids.org .
He Was Charged with Disorderly Conduct and Breaking an Officer’s Flashlight
I’ve always been worried about my little sister living in L.A. with all the gangs, thugs, drugged-out celebrities, and LAPD about. Well, I just hope she follows my instructions and curls into a ball and plays dead if she’s ever attacked by the LAPD.
At least Arnold is there to protect her now.
An Outrage!
Look at the headline to this story. What an outrage! What are we paying our government for? (not space lasers, that’s for sure)
Ronin Thought of the Day
We Must S.M.I.T.E. Our Enemies!
Everyone thought my idea for a space laser was great, but I still haven’t gotten the government grant money to start the project. Perhaps more convincing will do. Here I have written out a full, scientifical diagram of the S.M.I.T.E. design (it could be more scientifical, but I couldn’t find my ruler and just used a pen to draw it):
And here is yet another demonstration of how the laser can be used for happy, peaceful purposes:
I hope that’s enough to convince everyone and get me the grant money. I think I’ll just supervise the creation because then I don’t have to worry about all those hard design questions and just yell at people instead.
I like yelling.