Hello, RightWingDuck here, guestblogging for the honorable Frank J. as he vacations until Wednesday.
I’ve been watching the morning news shows and have enjoyed the fact that now AT LAST the country is talking about this Swift Boat Veterans For Truth issue.
John Kerry, went to Vietnam.That much we know. But now we get to see if this guy made up all of his heroics or if it was for real. Hmmm. Well, finding out if somebody is a real war hero is EASY. You see, I’m impressed if you tell me you served on a Naval Warship. I’m less impressed if I find out that Julie McCoy was your Cruise Director.
So the best way to measure your Hero Status is to take the RightWingDuck War Hero Test…
Are You A War Hero? Test?
You are a real war hero: If you suffered battle injuries
You are a fake war hero: If most of those injuries were accidentally caused by you.
You are a real war hero: If you have been awarded medals.
You are a fake war hero: If you unwrap your shiny medals and eat the milk chocolate .
You are a real war hero: If the doctors on the battlefield described your wounds as grave.
You are a fake war hero: If those same doctors described your wound as a “booboo”
You are a real war hero: If you marched down Main Street in a parade.
You are a fake war hero: If the parade involved Disney characters and you were dressed as Pluto.
You are a real war hero: If your wounds required constant attention and changing of field dressings.
You are a fake war hero: If your wound required a Band-aid that came in different colors.
You are a real war hero: If the sailors you once led salute you when they see you.
You are a fake war hero: If they salute using only one finger.
You are a real war hero: If your hometown museum has a picture of you on its walls.
You are a fake war hero: If your picture hangs in our enemy’s Wall of Fame.
You are a real war hero: If you returned from Vietnam and drank a beer to honor your buddies still serving.
You are a fake war hero: If you threw the empty beer mug at their heads.
You are a real war hero: If you proudly show your battle scars to your children and grandchildren.
You are a fake war hero: If you can’t tell the difference between your scars and your liver spots.
You are a real war hero: If your heroism is re-enacted on the History Channel.
You are a fake war hero: If doing your OWN re-enactment was the bravest thing you ever did.
You are a real war hero: If you finished a gun battle and simply said, “I did my duty.”
You are a fake war hero: If “I did my doodie” means you took a dump in the jungle.
There you go, Mr. Kerry. How did you do?
I thought so.
This was originally a two part post. The first part is a serious article about John Kerry. You see, I finally figured out what was bothering me about this guy. I’m still editing it and should post it at www.rightwingduck.com within the next hour. I’d post it here, but I felt that a serious post was not in keeping with the IMAO theme. Check in if you like.
bob kerrey served where?
Julie McCoy?? Just how old do you think IMAO readers are? Hey! Wasn’t Gopher a senator?? I guess if you once wore a uniform, people will vote for you.
Nice one! Lmao!
I did my duty/ I did my doodie
I took a dump in the jungle once. The history channel called me up to do a reinactment.
I will never forget that day. It was Christmas 1969. A leach grabed on to my ass as I squatted over the side of my boat. (I got a purple heart for the wound I recieved.)
Yes Cambodia, with drunken charlie watching me lay mines in the water.
It’s seared, seared into my memory…
You are a real war hero: If your hometown museum has a picture of you on its walls.
You are a fake war hero: If your picture hangs in our enemy’s Wall of Fame.
that one is good. very good.
Did you see Bob Dole is calling Kerry out??? Interesting.
I got booted out of the Army before I had the chance to go get wounded (seems I have a bum ticker). As a result I have to make due with the wounds I got elsewhere. It’s not so cool since the saber scar faded away.
Anyway, where can I get me one them medals with the chocolate inside? Them sound tasty.
ROTFLMAO! What you wrote is so true!! I can see the Democrats coming down with a serious case of buyer’s remorse.
Sorry had to add one
You are a real war hero if – when you came home you beat the sh*t out of a hippie.
You are a fake war hero if – when you came home you became a hippie.
…You are a real war hero if: You keep on truckin’ when the rockets and mortars keep coming in…You keep going to the PX where someone was killed a few days or weeks prior…you keep eating at the same chow hall that always seems to attract rounds…you keep treating the locals with dignity, even knowing that some of them will try to kill you with a mortar, rocket, IED, or VBIED that night…All this happens and you keep working, doing your job, not complaining, telling your family everything is ok, the food is good, they get new things in the PX all the time, and reminding them that our cause is just and proper…soldiering on even in the face of certain fools in the US that cannot see beyond their own petty problems or bigotry…those people are today’s heroes…I would vote for ANY OF THEM OVER KERRY…
my two cents…hope it is readable…
spark21
I just finished The Red Badge of Courage, for the first time. I am 30 years old. Now that is a great book.
You want to know what it’s like to really fight and be a hero, read that book.
I injured my remote control finger during the first gulf war while I was in the Air Force. Despite my injuries I was still able to direct my squadrons tv into enemy territory–CNN
Can I still apply for a medal? I may want to run for president someday on my war record.
mmmmmmm milk choooocoooolllllllatttte
Lately, the predominant source of journalistic cranial injury is the desktops on which they bang their heads in frustration at the slow-motion trainwreck of the Kerry campaign.
I’m not questioning ANY of John Kerry’s wounds, from razor burns to hangnails… NOT EVEN those tiny little holes made by the BOTOX injections!
What I want to know is why there is no discussion of Kerry’s legislative leadership and accomplishments by ANY of the Mainstream Press nor Network News Anchors? Why are we NOT being reminded hourly by the newsreaders who so conspicuously endorse Kerry, about all the wonderful legislation he sponsored, or the bills he voted FOR and AGAINST?
Can you remember the single piece of legislation sponsored by Kerry to actually be passed on favorably by his fellow senators?
His own official website does not identify it. It only shows a tally sheet year by year: bills sponsored, bills passed. Total for a decade of service in the Senate, 28 sponsored, ONE passed.
For John Kerry’s campaign to call for the suppression of the SwiftVets’ book and threaten lawsuits against TV stations that broadcast their commercials is despicable. It lays bare a bullying gutlessness more clearly than any allegations by ten thousand fellow decorated veterans could ever have accomplished.