Scientist have now genetically enhanced monkeys to make them workaholics. Are they insane? Stop enhancing monkeys! I heard a while ago about scientists making it so that monkeys can control a robot arm with their brains. Combine these two and know what you get? Monkeys with Doctor Octopus like arms working tirelessly to destroy us all!
While talking about weird stuff, I should mention that Russian scientists, while digging up an alien device that crashed in Siberia, found a rock!
first?
probably shouldn’t be so excited about that, but i am!! woo hoo!
Dangit! I saw the (0) on the comments, and was like “Score!” but then this amy chick ruins my day. Thanks, amy.
i fear the alien device is going to overshadow the news about the super cool rock.. stupid aliens.
We should trick these workaholic monkees into building a monkey-killing robot.
sorry metallica rat..
also, comment 4 was me.. i was still flustered from being first
No problem, I’ll just keep working mindlessly here.
What if the rock holds a mini space ship? or a galaxy? (MIB)
If an alien spaceship crashes in a forest does it make a rock?
Everyone knows the Siberia thing was just an asteroid/comet exploding above ground, all sorts of tests have proven it. Now if people would stop being tards and move along, that would be greeeeeaaat. The scientists are probably hoping the “alien device” is something to make vodka faster and more potent.
By “now if people would stop being tards,” I was referring to the Siberians, not any of you posters. Just in case someone was getting angry.
I was getting angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.
Hey there’s a lemon behind that rock!!
Josh,
That took me a whole second to get. I need to watch more Simpsons.
Stoopid Amerikanski Capitalist Moonkeys, vee holt trutth from your inferior CIA and USAF spy sattellites, da da! You all tink Russia all gooodz guys? Baaahhaahhaa! Vee dignk up alien zuper-veppon, space laser! Only say it rock. Baahahaha! Vee callink zuper-veppon S.M.I.T.E. How you like dem porogies commrade? Now vee back. Nyet more goodz ruskies! USSR is back babushka! Now vee zappski all zoft amerikanski running dogchas.
If indeed the workaholic monkeys built Dr. Octopus harnesses, invaded Russia, and stole their space-rock; would Charelton Heston Save us from “those stinkin apes”?
whoops to unconfuse the monkeys fans i mean to write “and people say we monkey around”
Turkeyhead, I would love something that would make vodka faster & more potent right about now. Maybe we could use it to keep the monkeys drunk & incapacitated?
wurkoholik munkees it is so sexy. i hire munkees for my corporashun for to make barrells of oatmeal for fattys.
Oh No! an eatbeast sees my munkees! she eat my munkees and did fart. i get you for this you stupid cowchick!
Are you sure the scientists didn’t dig too far and found IRAQ?
“A Rather Stupid Hoax”
In 1908, there was an explosion in Siberia, which many scientists claimed to be a coment impact. But when someone found a metal block in the area, some people said that aliens did it…
Jenno, ever since I had a block party and the monkeys from across the cul-de-sac came over, I’ve been wary of giving primates alcohol. Sure, it’s fun at first when they’re doing little monkey things like picking mites off each other, and swinging around on your Bud Light NFL helmets banner, but then they start getting emotional. Two of them surrounded me on the couch and wouldn’t stop talking about how they can’t find work because chimps are flooding the job market. It was an awkward moment.
Methinks the Russians are having fun with the Western media.
Or, someone slipped the scientists some bad vodka as a prank.
cool. i like rocks.
LOL Turkeyhead. I had a couple of monkeys over once too. What they did in the bathroom was unspeakable.
Frank,
I think Whittler is working with the monkey’s now. Have you seen the new post?
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Personally, I think a Planet of the Apes would be wonderful. Come, fellow humans, let us all work towards creating a race of hard-working, super-intelligent apes.
(hee hee, that ought to fool the dirty humans into cooperating with my plans…)
OH CRAP! (flings orange orangutan crap)
So if you hate monkeys, do you by extension hate The Monkeys? If so, who would win in a fight between them and Aquaman? Could Aquaman eleviate the suckiness of their band, or would his drumming also suck?
See! You are a bunch a racists! EVERYONE knows that by monkey, you mean black people! And now you are talking about being upset because they have been genetically enhanced to work hard. You hatemongers!
Just you wait…when John Kerry-Heinz becomes president he will be sensitive to you until you surrender! That will teach you to hate monkeys. I mean black people.
your hot im hotter!