There’s an old sniper saying for the benefit of their targets: “Don’t bother running; you’ll only die tired.”
I believe there is some wisdom there for the Democrats to learn from. Right now, every pundit and his sister is saying what the Democrats have to do now after they’ve been spit out by the American people like so much spoiled milk, and most of that advice is how the Democrats can try and be more competitive in the political arena. To me, this is just putting up fresheners to cover up the stench of a rotting corpse. Sure, some measures can keep the Democrats potentially viable for a while longer, but it’s all just delaying the inevitable demise.
How can I be so sure that the Democrats are done for? Come on; just look at them! Out of all of them, who did they pick for president? John F’n Kerry! The man was practically a walking corpse himself, only showing enough energy to shamefully pander. And who are the big Democrat supporters? Jabba the filmmaker and the rest of the Hollytards. Oh, and don’t forget all the hate-filled protestors. I’ve seen three year olds on sugar highs use energy with more rational focus.
So what we have now is a world filled with bad people who need to be made dead, and the opposition party doesn’t have enough gravitas to be circus clowns. And, while all the advice may be good intentioned, it’s like encouraging a boxer to continue who is way past his prime. If he keeps getting in the ring, all that’s going to happen is he gets whupped in more and more pathetic ways. While that might be entertaining for the sadistic, it’s just not compassionate to keep encouraging it.
Thus I’m going to give the Democrats the only real good advice they’ll hear: Find a ditch. Climb into it. Die. It’s a manageable option for the Democrats and simply the best idea. Ditches are everywhere. There’s probably plenty in Old Europe, whole countries that, if they were smart, would just nuke themselves and get things over with now.
So, you ask, what party would replace the Democrats as the opposition? My answer: I dunno; one that doesn’t suck. It would be hard to do worse. Just make sure they got the memo during 9/11 that the world changed and not to spend all their time whining about prescription drugs and crap like that. What we need are two parties that can have a reasoned debate about abolishing welfare to fund more cruise missiles. Before that can happen, though, the Democrats have to face reality and give up the ghost.
Sure, instead of climbing into a ditch and dying, the Democrats could take all that advice they were given and spend tons of energy to win maybe a couple more worthwhile elections, but, if they do all that, they’ll just die tired.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us – though is still available to replace William Safire if anyone from the NY Times is reading – and is the author of such thrillers as “The Kinkade Code” and “Monkeys Always Kill.”
First…
This isn’t the thread you’re looking for, move along.
Don’t believe this article, the Democrats are a cunning group of people. I personally believe a deal was made in 2000. “Okay, you pubs get chair for 8 years. But then we get to stick Hillary in office”. Now I don’t know if that will fly yet, but they could certainly run her in by sticking as veep with some moderate, and then milking her for the job in 2012.
And now I will take the rights of Firsts! a bit further. It doesn’t really matter who we have in office. The heavens rule over the earth, And as a nation we get who we deserve.
Quite honestly if we had got Kerry then
we would have deserved a self admitted war criminal, who is all for baby sacrificnig abortion. Listen, nothing really ever changes. Men just wax more evil, and we see them cycle between stoicism to unbridled self gratification, trying to fix their own problems. Okay, so we have four more years of the same, after that then what?
Can you believe Bubba (I did not have sex with that woman) is advising the Dems to quote the Bible more? He thinks they can go toe to toe with the faithful. The base of the Democratic Party is now the radical left, and they hate God and everyone who believes in Him.
If they really think they can get Biblical it will be either hysterically funny or dangerous.
Mmmmmmm, he said “self-gratification….”
Please, we have alot of ditches by my house. I dont need any stinky, bloated democorpses nastifying them up. Besides, might get into the water supply. I dont want to lose IQ points by drinking tap water. Thats how I get my Govenrmentally Approved Nutrients!
Oh – and Hillarity could never win. Her attitude and poise would end her right quick. The rest of the states aint NY, they cant be bought off as easily by a big name.
thank G-Dawg for that.
*FIFTH (comment anyway)***
Best line: “I’ve seen three year olds on sugar highs use energy with more rational focus.”
Always remember, ronins: we gave up the Democrats for dead in 1992, and look what that got us.
And don’t forget the moderate majority will pick a moderate democrat over a neocon republican in 2008; the red state party must be wary that they don’t overestimate their mandate.
What is the next Opposition Party? Super-Republicans. Super-Republicans look at the Falluja front, and demand the whole city be leveled and replaced with an exact replica of Dallas, Texas. Super-Republicans wonder what king of excuse the administration has for not invading Iran, North Korea, and France.
Super-Republicans look at a stockpile of nukes, and wonder, “Why do we let good things go to waste?”
Super-Republicans want to tax the homeless harder, because they use the public streets harder.
Super-Republicans, because a regular Republican just isn’t enough.
actually, having demos crawling into ditches to die would create jobs for prospective ditch diggers. and for prospective ditch filler-inners. can’t have the demos just lying in open ditches, they might have second thoughts and crawl out, but if they were buried under tons of dirt, it’d be slightly more difficult.
I nominate Blaine for Super-Republican Presidential nominee.”Long live the Peacemakers”
First off, we need to replace the Dem party with the “Death to France’ party. Then the Repubs become the gentler, kinder, more sensitive candygram type party. Woo Hoo.
Secondly, and on a serious note, to those who don’t think it matters who is in office or who think the whole thing is rigged, either by God, or someone a little closer to terra firma, I must strongly disagree.
First off, Gods’ main point for mankind was Free Will. This tells me He is not going to meddle in petty things like elections, but rather Armaggedon type events only.
Second, it is the nature of life that one must actually Do Something to continue breathing, like taking two steps to the east or west when standing on a north-south traintrack with a million ton locomotive approaching at 20 feet per second.
Heck, you even have to get out of bed and actually walk to the rest room for something as simple as ….
So, one must vote. One must educate themself to vote for ‘the best candidate’. It makes a difference.
Can you imagine the last 3 1/2 years with Gore in the White House?
Instead we have:
-Afganistan well on their way to a peaceful growing society to be filled with people who will laugh at the idea of becoming suicide bombers.
-Iraq- Ditto
-Lybia – UNCLE !
No more hard earned tax dollars going to Kim shortJong il as bribe money for nothing and all his chicks for free.
-Iran and Syria are on notice, and I believe being pencilled in for some time in the near future.
-The Middle East is seriously moving towards the democratic template because they know they cannot survive much longer as a simple conglomeration of gangbangers, nor would the USA let them survive as such as proven by afore mentioned (small list of) accomplishments.
Can you really see all this happening with a cabinet made up of people like Madeline Albright?
No my friends, not only are Some things Real, I submit Most things are Real. Take a stand, get in the game, and say NO to surrender-appeasment monkeys who strive to finally make the USA ‘world class’, which if you haven’t figured it out yet, really means “Mediocre” !
Live long and prosper.
PS – The dems really are too stupid to figure out why they lost, and I ain’t tellin em.
“There’s probably plenty in Old Europe, whole countries that, if they were smart, would just nuke themselves and get things over with now.”
Hey, France has nukes (how did we let that happen?).
How about a France-Germany murder/suicide?
Man, I love that book, Monkeys Always Kill. I read it at least 10 times now.
Speaking of monkies, my new boss said trained monkies can do my job and he could teach them in 5 minutes. I wish he could have called in those monkies when they called me in on my vacation the other week.
I am still waiting for the monkies however, so I can train them properly.
“The opposition party doesn’t have enough gravitas to be circus clowns.”
Love the gravitas statement – I could subsitute something like to be toe fungus – I hate insulting circus clowns.
As for new parties, I think the Demo’s should come out of their shell, and change the name to the Progressives or move to a blend of wacko parties – Green-World Workers Socialist “Peace at any Price” Party Conglomerate.
Communist party works just as well.
My friend and I came up with a new party as well – the Evil Republicans – to make the regular Republicans look like saints. Darth Vadar, as mentioned in other comments, would be a fine candidate.
In all seriousness, I would love to see the democRats fade away and be replaced as opposition party by the Libertarians.
I’d like to see democRats fade to the point where they are as relevant as the Greens, the Socialists, the National Socialists, the Communists, the Natural Law Party, and all those other fringe looney groups.
Then the Libertarians could rise up to prominence and be the group fighting Republicans over issues.
Only they would see eye to eye on a lot of things that matter, like gun rights and tax cuts. So we would actually have PROGRESS on those things; you know, “bipartisan” progress and “reaching across the aisle” and all that warm-fuzzy crap.
Then, with all that important stuff getting done, the two parties could more amicably discuss the divise issues, like abortion. That way, instead of abortion being used as the lightning rod to call leftists into action to keep Republicans from doing ANYTHING, it would be an issue open for serious debate.
That is my vision for a better America. And the first step is, as Frank has said, getting the democRats to lie down in the ditch while we shovel the dirt atop them.
Well, I’ve been reading this site for a few weeks now, and I have to say that Frank is a mastermind. Anyway, speaking of John Kerry, did you hear about the time when he was asked if he was for or against gay marriages? John Kerry’s response, “Yes.” I think this pretty must sums up the Democratic Party as a whole.
Later on,
Drew
On second thought, I would support Playboy, Inc – as the new party to replace the Dems.
After the Democrats crawl into ditches and die (and I hope the thousands in my neighborhood choose Palo Alto’s ditches), I’m all for the Toga Party as America’s new opposition party. Sen. John Blutarsky agrees with me.
Toga! Toga!
It took about seven or eight seconds to sink in, but “The Kinkade Code” is the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
Thanks, Frank.
heh. You used “gravitas” in an essay. Michael Moore has enough “gravitas” (is that Latin for “gravity in your ass”?) to keep the moon in orbit.
The only Kinkade I can think of is Reuben, manager of the Partridge Family. So that book title went right over my head. Maybe the next one could be The Mapplethorpe Code.
I would not mind a resurgance of the Democrat Party on the nonnegotiable condition that they all are just like Zell.
“I would not mind a resurgance of the Democrat Party on the nonnegotiable condition that they all are just like Zell.”
I’m pretty certain this is the only way we’re gonna actually see a resurgance of the Democratic Party. I mean, we all have our loony Uncle Ferdinand, but we don’t all parade them around town on our arms. The smirt party keeps them hid in the attic with tape over their mouths where they belong and deny they even know them if they, by chance, escape. 😉
SO Funny Frank!
Not funny gay.
Funny haha!
Alan S.,
I was wondering if anyone would have gotten that joke. I’m not sure I would have gotten it.
Republican/Libertarian two-party system all the way, man!
Repugnants will all gather in Hell before ANY Democrat will quit the fight. I will undoubtedly be assigned to pour on the coal, for having so harshly adhered to the Old Testament in judging you, with Revelations the basis of the Hell I picture you suffering.