Hello Readers,
RightWingDuck of R&W Block here, and if you’re stressing out over the end of tax season, please know that we here at IMAO are here to help you!!
I recently asked you for your tough tax questions. Here are the
answers as I deem fit.
Tax Question:
Dude, I was totally going to get a sweet refund, but now I owe taxes
because extra big taxes on my blogging income for it being my own
business. How do I write “@#$% you!” on an e-check?
Posted by Frank J. at April 14, 2005 08:59 AM
Frank:
This is a common question. Despite my inability to spell very basic
words, I am well versed in the basics of written communication.
Every E-check has a portion available for comments. Now, profanity is
not allowed and is filtered, however, it is allowed to spell out the
profanity.
Try this: AtPoundsignDollarsPercentages You!!
Grammatically speaking, you want to avoid putting the @ at the end of
the sentence.
But don’t be angry about paying taxes, instead, be aware of the fact
that as supreme overlord you can claim thousands of visitors as
dependants. Make sure you get their social security numbers.
Sincerely comma
RWD

Continue reading ‘R&W Block, Part II’ »

Few people disagree that the blogosphere is a very big thing – at least of those who heard of it. While liberal blogs suck and no one cares about them, right wing blogs are very important and influence the news and are read by big important people. Why, President Bush is probably reading this right now (Hey, Dubya!). Since the blogosphere is so important and so influential, a leader must emerge.
That leader should be me.
I got a 1570 on my SATs – that’s like a perfect score. Only Jesus ever scored higher. Also, I have like a huge IQ. If I were just a little smarter, I could set people on fire just by staring at them. Yeah, that’s how powerful my mind is: Just barely not powerful enough to set someone on fire. That means I’m smarter than everyone and should be listened to and obeyed. Plus, I know what’s important for the blogosphere.
* BULLET POINTS: Bullet points are important because the new generation have the attention spans of monkeys on crack. Bullet points mean things are put into nice little bite-sized chunks that won’t scare people away.
* STUPID MEDIA: Some people think that the blogosphere should help reform the media; those people are dumb and don’t know what the hell they are talking about. If the media was reformed, then what would we blog about? Cats? That would suck. We need more fake memos, and we need them reported on now!
* STRUCTURE: The blogosphere is too scattered; there are like opinions from everybody and I don’t care about most of them. The blogosphere needs to be cut down to size where only important people like me get heard. Instead of a blogosphere, we should make a blogododecahedron because that would have a finite number of sides. If you don’t know why that’s important, then you are dumb and should stop reading this now and pick up a copy of Highlights.
Okay, that’s all the bullet points I can think of right now. Three is plenty, though; if I only had two things, then bullet points would have been excessive. I’m smart; I know things like that.
This gets me to my main point: The blogododecahedron needs a leader. Not like a president, though; that’s so last century. It needs an overlord who will reward what is good and crush what is bad, bringing order to the blogododecahedron. He will wear a cape and a helmet with spikes and all will fear him. Also, he should have blog thugs – or “blugs” – at his disposal to beat up any who fall out of the order.
I should be this overlord.
We should have an election. My campaign slogan will be: “Frank J. for blog overlord – because he told you so!” And that’s what an overlord should be like – he should just command things to be done.
On second thought, no election; I declare myself overlord now. I know ninjitsu and will fight to the death anyone who dares say I am not overlord.
Now that I rule the blogododecahedron, no blogs shall be recognized unless I recognize them. But I am also too busy to read other blogs or be bothered by them, so I’ll need people under me to approve blogs and report back to me. Each shall be fierce himself and secretly plot to overthrow me and become overlord – though I am too smart for that. These people will be known as the blog… uh… well, I’ll come up with a cool name for them later. Everyone else will be known as my minions.
Excellent! Things have started now. Soon the blogosphere will be crushed into the order of the new blogododecahedron and all shall bow to my power. Tidings shall be sent monthly to my PayPal account, and I shall grow rich and lazy.
Such is the order of things.
All hail Blog Overlord Frank J. and spread the word of my coming!

Hello Readers,
I took a break from the Round-Up today, (okay, I’ll post it later)
Why?
Because if you’re like most Americans on April 14th, you are getting ready for a very important day tomorrow.
That’s right – the Britney Spears Press Conference – and tax seminar.
People are unclear on many tax issues. I mean, as far as the IRS is concerned, it’s okay to sell your daughter for a car – as long as you claim in the income – and don’t claim her as a dependent.
See? It makes no sense.
So what is a person to do? Get help.
Now the lovely SarahK is a CPA which means that in reality – she’s too busy to help you guys right now.
But the Duck is in.
So go ahead and ask me about any tax questions you might have..
1041? 1042? Whatever it takes.
Post your questions in comments and I’ll answer them in a separate post.
Results Guaranteed*
*DISCLAIMER: Results not guaranteed. Neither RWD nor any of the IMAO crew can vouch for the credibility or authenticity of any answers provided by this site. Taxes are semi-serious business and should be handled by a train professional or the guy next to you in line to get more tax forms. All answers provided are believed to be in compliance with the current tax code system of Burkastan and some other piddly countries. (Authors note: Did you know that Micronesia is really a country? I was shocked too) These questions are also answered in other languages except for West Virginia where the official language is English – much to the surprise of most of their state senators – who probably didn’t read the law before signing it – probably because it was in English. This offer void where prohibited, limited quantities available, objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Sorry no rain checks. Should you or any of your IM family (Instant Messaging) be arrested, IMAO will disavow any knowledge of your actions, but will gladly print transcripts of your one phone call allowed by law.