(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
On August 1st of this year, former Presidential hopeless Al Gore will be launching his new cable TV network, “Current”.
I read the press release to try to find out what sort of programming will be shown, but aside from a few disclaimers about being non-partisan, the actual content was only described in the vaguest of terms.
Soooooo… I did a little research and found the original video of the Al Gore news conference that Reuters quoted from. In the extended entry, I’ve padded out the press release with some of the omitted information:
Archive of entries posted on 13th April 2005
A Balanced Look At… Taxes
Tax time is approaching us again and that means its time to see what the different sides have to say about the popular topic of taxes. Not that taxes are all that popular with everyone. Here they are, Left, Right and Off.
Q&A Session About Taxes
Why is the federal income tax system necessary?
Left Side – Did you not see ‘the Day After Tomorrow?’ Income taxes keep the world from simultaneously freezing solid, flooding and burning to a crisp. Also they keep the poor fed and keep the rich from getting too rich. Think of them as Robin Hood, without any religious undertones or projectile weapons.
Right Side – While revenue raising is necessary, the Internal Revenue Service is not.
Off Side (me)- The federal government made do without an Income Tax for well over a hundred years, why not again?
RWD’s News Round-Up, Wednesday
Hello,
I’m RightWingDuck and I’m here to share the news.
Sorry for the late posting today. I got home late last night and never had the chance to catch up. You know, it’s tough juggling all these responsibilities. I struggle to be a good dad, a loving husband, and a hard working “little Eichmann.”
I’m working later hours just so I can afford the essentials of life- gasoline!!
Gas is getting expensive and it’s starting to hurt an already aching airline industry. I’m lucky. I recently bagged a bargain airfare.
Of course, there was a catch. Half of us had to distract the neighboring American Airlines plane by doing the “chicken dance” on the tarmac, while the other half siphoned out its jet fuel.
In all fairness, we were given extra mints. Distracting is hard work.
Some students from Purdue have scored a major prize for the third year in a row. The Rube Goldberg contest this year had a goal: to create a device that changes the batteries in a flashlight and do it in as many steps as possible. Their winning project had 125 steps to it!!
It was touch and go at the beginning; when they realized their kit didn’t include the batteries.
So they went to neighboring MIT team and started doing the “chicken dance”….
Amazing. 125 steps to complete a single task, or as the IRS would call it — the Short Form.
Interestingly enough, that is not the world record. The all time record is held by John Kerry who took 759 steps to explain if he supported the Iraq War.
Well, 760 if you count yesterday, but he’s on crutches — so that might call for an asterisk or something.
Know Thy Enemy: Taxes
Taxes are due Friday. I still haven’t done mine, but I have my CPA fiancée to help me get it done and submitted online. Others aren’t so lucky, and thus I sent my crack research team to find out as much as they can about taxes.
FUN FACTS ABOUT TAXES
Where Are the Bloggers?
Aww, man, Ducky doesn’t have a news round up today. Where did he go? And where’s Harvey?
Maybe spacemonkey will post something; he’s only half dead.
I guess I could do a news round up…
A bomb was detonated in Iraq today, killing twelve… uh… that’s not funny.
Okay, so I don’t do news round ups. Well, I’ll have a really cool post up later. Keep refreshing.