I have a couple of tough decisions to make in the next 24 hours and hope that the IMAO Fans can help a brother out:
1) I am co-hosting the Republican Radio talk show tomorrow here in Seattle (broadcast live from 11am-1pm Pacific Time on the Internet via the Universal Talk Network) and I’m frustrated with the guests they’ve got lined up: Dr. James Marlowe of the Evergreen Historical Preservation Society, Trevor Cranston-Smythe with Washingtonians for Liberty, and William Pitts, the co-founder of the Legal Immigration Foundation. My problem is that none of these guys sound very exciting and they all sound like the old rich WASP everyone thinks of when they hear the word “Republican.” Should I be worried about reinforcing a stereotype?
2) My day job is offering to send me to a private screening of Star Wars Episode III for free, but I have already promised myself that after Episodes I and II that I wouldn’t be screwed again by George Lucas. Should I break my own promise and take the free ticket?
Deep, meaningful conservation shall ensue in the Comments section, I’m sure!

I decided to still rest up today, but I’ll be back Monday with the next part to IMW: Aw, Hell. Also, I’m having my crack research staff look into the Minority Leader, Harry Reid. Plus, the whole IMAO gang has a number of different projects brewing.
Now, some blegging. The wedding will probably be in December, and we’re thinking of honeymooning in Australia. Any tips on how to make a good vacation packages and any info from some locals? All help will be appreciated.

The boys over at Cox & Forkum remind us that yesterday was Saddam Hussein’s 68th birthday. I should have gotten him something, but I had trouble deciding:
* Jalepeno underwear
* Razor blade mattress
* Bandsaw eyebrow plucking
* Plastic shredder shoes
* Cheese grater manicure
* Columbian necktie
* Hot wax eyedrops
* Rabid weasel bath
* Ben Gay Q-tip ear cleaning
* Anthrax omelette
* Tarantula enema
Got any suggestions?

Hi Gang.
RightWingDuck here. You know, I’ve been reading the paper and following these mobsters that got picked up by the FBI. These guys are accuses of a lot of stuff – some of them murders that go back 20 years.
What’s weird is that these guys are upset that we would even THINK that they are mobsters. See, it’s okay for your business card to read, Sammy The Snake
it’s another thing to have the job title: Legitamite Businessman.
That got me to thinking…
What Mob Nicknames would YOU give some of our favorite public figures?
Here are my nickname entries along with an overview of their “mob profile”
President Bush: Junior
Don’t let his name lead you astray. He’s the one man you can’t mess with. Don’t let the broken crayons fool you.
VP Cheney. Dick “The Chiropractor”
He’ll @#& break your back in a VP debate if you mess with him.
Laura Bush: The Hush Puppy
This sweet librarian requests that you keep it down. Or you’ll be dealing with Chiro and Junior.
Senator Ted Kennedy: Teddy “The Liver”
You can mess with him – but there’s a two drink minimum.
Senator Kerry: Johnny “The Weathervane”
The only mobster to belong to ALL of the major mob families!
Former President Clinton: Billy “The Zipper” Clinton
Loves the cigars, the ladies, and ladies with cigars. Also likes sex. What the hell are you lookin’ at? Oh, how YOU doin’?
Senator Clinton: Hilllary “The Nutcracker”
Get your damn hands off my husband.
Former National Security Advisor Sandy Berger: Sandy Scissorpants
Evidence, shmevidence. Stick it in his pants. It’s as good as gone. Why yes, he IS happy to see you.

Howard Dean: Howie “The Scream”
This screaming mad dog of a Democrat is mad. And he hates Republicans and everthing they stand for. Great for children’t parties.
Film maker Michael Moore: Mikey “The Equator”
He’s big. He’s fat. He’s big and fat. Also makes movies. Has video evidence that George Bush shot JFK. It’s already up for an Oscar.
**
Now it’s YOUR turn.
Let’s start handing out those cool nicknames. Who comes to mind? Dan Rather? George Soros? Maureed Dowd?
Post in comments.