I was at the zoo this morning and took this picture of my favorite animal–the Arizona RINO (genus:republican species:innamusonly). The RINO is a very accommodating beast–whenever a camera is nearby it is sure to come trotting over. It accommodatingly poses itself in whatever position will bring the most attention to itself, regardless of the jeopardy it places the rest of the herd in. I guess, like humans, some RINOs are just jerks
Archive of entries posted on 15th April 2005
Evil Glenn’s Reality TV Show
(A Filthy Lie)
After ABC’s hit reality TV show “Wife Swap” had production halted due to an incident of child abuse, the network searched around desperately for a replacement show to air.
A junior production assistant at ABC theorized that if people would tune in to watch whiny, bossy, overly-opinionated women switch households, maybe it would be just as good to use whiny, bossy, overly-opinionated computer nerds in their place. Thus was born:
BLOG SWAP!
This week: an up-and-coming humor blogger who creates his own masterfully funny stories (sorry, it’s NOT Scrappleface) switches places with a stodgy, uncreative, puppy-blending lawyer who hyper-leeches off the creativity of others to maintain his oppressive grip on the throat of the blogosphere. Thinker vs. linker, vamper vs. vampire, who will make the best adjustment to their new pixel-palace? Find out the answer tonight as Frank J. of IMAO and Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit do a
BLOG SWAP!
First up (in the extended entry) – Glenn Reynolds takes the helm at IMAO. Will he be able to keep Frank’s readers ROTFL? Or will this be the worst disaster since group blogging?…
Know Thy Friend: Dodecahedrons
As you know, unless you are a non-IMAO reading anti-American liberal or are dead, dodecahedrons are the newly mandated shape o fthe blog-ful-ish environment. But what are dodecahedrons?
To shed more light on dodecahedrons, here are some interesting insightful info-blips about dodecahedrons. Because all knowledge is good.
Bad Rx
Have you noticed lately there’s been a lot of problems with drugs? Recalls, warnings, handwringing, livers and hearts exploding, etc.
Problems with and/or recalls regarding Vioxx, Celebrex, Bextra, and now Zyprexa have been all over the news. Lawsuits regarding these are popping up all over the Free World, plus France and Canada!
What’s going on here? I decided to find out. After about 20 minutes of examination of the issue, followed by a rather unpleasant evening experimenting, I think I’ve figured out what’s going on.
Look at the names, VioXX, CelebreX, BeXtra, ZypreXa. See the pattern?? It’s the ‘X’!
No, I’m not saying they are putting ecstasy in these medications but that would be bad, also. But neither am I saying they aren’t putting ecstasy in them either. I’m no biopharmachemologist or whatever the the term is for the egghead that would know things like that. But you can’t help but notice the drugs that are turning up bad have turned out to all have ‘X’ in the name.
It’s just a fact. To test my theory, I decided it would be a good idea to experiment with something called “Ex-Lax”. A medication which has two, count them, two ‘X’s in the name. The product labelling said it was for ‘relief of occasional irregularity’. Since I’ve been told occassionaly by friends, family and the frequent total stranger that I am irregular, it seemed like the perfect product to try.
But does it relieve irregularity? Does it? Does it? NOOOOO. I’ll tell you what it does, it gives you a bad case of the freakin’ RUNS! That what it does. RUNS! And relief? Brother, you won’t be, NOT relieved by ANY stretch of the imagination. It is the exact and total 180 degree opposite of any sort of relief. For your information.
Well, to spare you any more disgusting details and to make a long story short, let me give my recommendation. Which is as follows.
Every prescription, over the counter, or under the counter medication with an ‘X’ in the name needs to be banned, now and forever. Furthermore any supplies of those drugs that exist need to be gathered up and burned before the sun goes down tonight. Even furthermore any new drug with X-names needs to be cancelled or, in the very least, renamed.
Also packaging with a more literal definition of irregularity would be appreciated.
This has been a PSA by spacemonkey.
The Bolton of Terror
Hello, Aquafans!
Guess who called upon me for my help?
That’s right, Kofi Anan, the whatchamacallit of the U.N. and man of unimpeachable integrity. Apparently the Bush regime, under the tutelage of the fiend Karl Rove, wants to place the dangerous, psychotic John Bolton in the U.N. to destroy it from the inside. Any superhero is familiar with that man who has terrorized countless cities. What Kofi knew, though, is that I had taken him down before.
What he didn’t know is that I had significant help from Batman and Superman, but I think I learned enough to face The Bolton myself. After being questioned by the Senate, The Bolton had gone into hiding – most likely to plot more evil. Only I could find him!
So I jumped in the ocean (always seems a good way to start) and talked to a marlin (I can talk to fish) that thought he had seen some Republicanism happening somewhere in the Atlantic. I followed him only to find a SECRET UNDERWATER BASE!!!
Yes! Finally! Why can’t more villains have secret underwater bases?
So, I snuck up to the bases and found an entrance for submarines. Once inside, I saw none other than…
Trust Me, You DON’T Want Frank J. as the Overlord of the Blogododecahedron
I hate to seem unsupportive and/or not a team player, but I noticed a lot of people chiming in enthusiastically in favor of Frank J.’s quest to become Overlord.
The thing is, I know something you don’t.
Last year, as part of a mission for the Alliance of Free Blogs to rid the world of the Evil Glenn Reynolds, I borrowed a time machine from my friend Physics Geek, and went back in time to make Glenn not evil.
That part of the mission succeeded.
However, there were… consequences.
In the end (and you can read the whole story here), I managed to undo the damage, but not before I’d glimpsed a horrifying future where Frank J. had become the blogospheric overlord. If you’ve got the nerve, you can face the darkness in the extended entry:
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