Man, I haven’t written anything funny today. I guess I would have something if I had been following the news… but I ain’t been following the news. So I’m just here panicking going, “I gotta write something funny!”
To which I reply, Then write something funny.
“But I can’t think of anything!”
So just write something about Chomps biting someone or Buck killing foreigners; that’s always enough to placate the rubes.
“No, I want something brilliant and funny, or otherwise my readers will go read some other blog… and I hate it when people read other blogs!”
Well, I’m not bailing you out of this one, bucko. You make your own humor. Do a top ten list or something. Those are easy.
“About what?”
Check what’s on the frontpage of CNN.com for an idea.
“‘U.S. copter came under fire before crash’… I don’t think there’s anything funny about that.”
“Top Ten Things Not to Do While in a Copter Under Fire” Number 10: Play “Guess Who” with the pilot.
“That’s just sick.”
You asked for my help…
“And you just scared all the funny out of me.”
Hey, I got a fun idea: Let’s see how many racial slurs we can name!
“Go away.”
That’s your problem, bucko; you’re scared of living on the edge. Now, if you let me free to write on IMAO, there’d be so much controversy that…
“No way. I don’t want that trouble.”
Fine. Can we at least get some coffee?
“Yeah, sure.”
I am on a “first” spree!
My first comment is a first!
Ok, so maybe not…..so close.
In the immortal words of Curly Howard
“I keep thinkin but nothin happens!!”
Fool! A titanic showdown occurs between the ever violent Sec. Of War and the corpulent conveyor of defeatism the senior senator of Massachusits, with a score of generals and lesser democrats on the side, and you let it slip through your fingers?
Did you not witness Hillary, upon Ted’s imminant defeat, throw her staff into a hillside and use her magic to make Ted grow into megaKennady? Or Condi’s arrival with MechaRumsfeld to aid the beleagured Power Rumsfeld?
To think that such a jucy confrontation escaped you disheartens me grately.