There are many liberals out there who still don’t get it about terrorism. They blame America and not want go kill all terrorists… but that’s what God made terrorists for!
He made them for killing!
Liberals all concerned about Rove and not evil bad people who want us and our friends dead. Rove doesn’t want us dead, though; he just wants to implant mind-controlling chips in our brains. So liberals should be concerned with super-bad terrorists.
Why aren’t they concerned with terrorists? They must be messed up in the head! I, Frank, know how to fix this…
FIRE THEM OUT OF A CANNON INTO THE SUN!!!
Secret plans for cannon! Written on napkin while drunk! Beer helps me think!
Sun will sort out bad ideas like it sorts hydrogen into helium (I smart; I know that). It will take lots of power to make liberal reach sun, though. I thought on this long time and came up with solution… USE LOTS AND LOTS OF GUNPOWDER!
If first attempt doesn’t work, USE EVEN MORE GUNPOWDER!
This is good plan that will work! But sun moves during day! If you do not believe me, check where sun is now and then check were it is later. It will have moved! How do we hit moving sun?
I know!
USE COMPUTER WITH CALCULATIONS AND STUFF!
This is good. But then I think that liberals may tear apart from the forces placed upon them by being fired out of cannon with lots and lots of gunpowder. Smart people like me realize things like this. Things like this is problem!
I solve problem!
SEAL LIBERAL IN METAL CAPSULE!
Smart idea solves problem! You may wonder how liberal will know he reach sun. I tell you how.
IT WILL GET VERY VERY HOT!
This is chief characteristic of sun and hard to miss.
Now my idea is done and is good idea. You tell everyone! You get me much money to implement it!
Hooray!
THIS CALLS FOR A T-SHIRT!
This is the cheif characteristic of IMAO and hard to miss.
What did the inhabitants of the sun ever do to you to deserve a shower of liberals? You cold heartless scum.
It will need to be a really WIDE cannon for B.F. Teddy Kennedy.
Remember, due to the vast distances involved you have to aim where the sun was 8.5 min ago. Extra points if you can name the 80’s animated movie where this factoid helped defeat the evil wizard.
Umm, wouldn’t you have to aim where the sun is going to be in 8.5 minutes?
You don’t really need a fancy computer to aim the cannon, just a fairly proficient duck hunter. Lots and lots of them will volunteer!
You Frank, confusing.
Not a bad idea, but remember that Superman movie? the one that really sucked?
Okay – the one where he took all the nukes and threw them into the sun?
Sad, but just like then – they will just make more Liberals…and probably faster than we can make more gunpowder.
🙁
– MuscleDaddy
Ok, this is the kind of thing I check this site for…not that Aquaman stuff…You should do more of this stuff…Liberals need so much help, and it will take a while for this strategy to be implemented so they can be straightend up…you chould be like a little sun and help them out in the mean time.
Frank, did someone steal your articles (a, an, the) today?
“My story starts back in nineteen-dickety-two – we had to say ‘dickety’ because the Kaiser stole our word twenty… I chased after him, but gave up after dickety-six miles…”
The environmentalist will be all over this. First of all liberals are scum and they will bitch endlessly about scumming up the sun. 2nd, the gun powder creates smoke. The smoke will interfere with the sun separating the helium from the hydrogen. Plus it will stay in the sky until it rains. Probably a blast big enough to shoot the liberals to the sun will melt an entire iceburg all by itself. And then the health care nuts will complain of second hand smoke. What we should do is just use them like mops to soak up nuclear fuel spills. No mess. I am afraid that without the proper tiles on the metal can you wish to shoot them up in that the f*^&ing thing might blow up and rain liberal scum all over my house. I just painted and don’t want to have to do that again, plus I may want to visit the sun someday and the last thing I want to see is some liberal when I get there. The folks on the sun are doing a good job of keeping it burning and the last thing we need is liberals up there unionizing them. Hell, we would probably only get light 3 or 4 hours a day then and if they went on strike we might go into an iceage. Shoot them to Massachusetts. I am pretty sure I am never going to go there.
umm you shouldn’t drink during the afternoon Frank.
Frank, that is just genius. The trick is that you dont really have to be all that accurate. If you fire it in the general direction of the sun, and there arent any other planets in the way, you only have to be fairly accurate, and get it halfway there. The gravity of the sun does the rest. You dont even need computers, you could probably eyeball it. I do think that gunpowder is a bad idea though. An electromagnetic railgun might be a better idea, because you wouldnt have to risk liberal guts all over you if something went wrong with the gunpowder. Even worse, what if both you and the liberal were blown to shreds, and you died with liberal blood on you. Doesnt that automatically send you to purgatory for being so careless? Nonetheless, its a good idea, but needs a little tweaking. I suggest in the next design phase, you use a paper towel, and drink a few cans of Dr. Pepper before tweaking.
I just wanted to remind you to put the hardware cloth over the cannon’s mouth after you load the Liberal but before you light the fuse.
Trust me, it’ll help.
It was “Flight of the Dragons.” 🙂
Or “A flight of Dragons” This early in the morning, one fo them is close enough. Do I win a prize?