Group song with all of the top 12 + Carrie Underwood. They’re singing “I’ve Made it Through the Rain”, which is almost as bad as last year’s “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”. No no. Nothing could ever be that painful. I’m having a seizure just thinking about it. They’re completely in white, which is unfortunate. Every time Carrie Underwood or Taylor sings, everyone cheers real loud.
And now we have the first of many montages. It’s funny, though. They showed Randy saying the same four Randyisms over and over. On Paula, it’s her being emotional (playing “I Get So Emotional” in the background, LOL) and being drunk. For Simon, it’s The Ego Has Landed. Cute. Simon can have an ego, though. He’s the only one who ever has anything to say, and he is all that.
Ok, in Birmingham, the O’Donahue twins are overseeing festivities. In Hollywood, Tamyra Gray, writer of that hideous “Inside Your Heaven” song, is overseeing the McPhans.
To start off the singing, Paris Bennett is singing “We’re In This Love Together” with Al Jerome [UPDATE: excuse me, Jerreau], and they’re scatting, and scatting well. She looks good, she’s wearing a good outfit and her hair isn’t retarded.
Chris Daughtry is living his dream. He’s singing “Mystery” with Live. He will have a great rock career ahead of him. Oh, the lead singer of Live is bald too. It’s 2 cue-balls dancing around onstage. Two not-ugly cue-balls. The Live guy has a nice falsetto, I may have to listen to them.
Kellie Pickler is getting a food lesson from Wolfgang Puck. Ryan can’t pronounce Albemarle. Oh, I hate to admit it, this is actually very cute and funny. Escargot? Not a fan. Oh, I can’t believe I’m saying it, she was really adorable there. LOL, they’re not having her sing, I think they know it’s just a bad idea. But anyway, she’ll be an adorable model.
Katharine is going to sing with Meatloaf. A wonderful Celine Dion song, “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”. The arrangement is absolutely a crime, what an amazing butchering. Not their singing, because that was good, but the harmony was horrible, and Katharine way overpowered Meatloaf, and she was the harmony. Not acceptable. But I really blame the sadistic arrangement. Awful. [UPDATE: A lovely chipper reader pointed out that it was Meatloaf’s song before Celine’s. I’ve never been a Meatloaf fan and never heard his version. If this version from last night was the original… it SUCKS, and Celine only improved on it. And none of that changes the fact that when the duet was going on last night, it sounded like they just shook up the Boggle cube and said, “Hey, let’s sing that.”]
AI has decided that since they never win Emmys, they’re gonna make their own awards. Mmmmm. K.
“Outstanding Female Vocal”. !!!!! I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR SUNTAN!!!! I can’t believe it, that was my catchphrase, and I forgot it halfway through the season. Bad SarahK. Anyway, female vocalist awards are going to the absolute worst of the year. LOL, during suntan girl, Rowdi grunted really loud.
“Outstanding Male Vocal”. Dave Hoover, the overspastic jumper. LOL, he even showed up.
More Puck ‘n Pickler. Kellie is afraid of the live lobsters, and I can’t blame her, they are scary. And Puck is taunting her. Poor Kellie. 😀
The top 6 guys are singing “Taking Care of Business”. You know, I kinda missed Bucky. He really grew on me as the competition went on. Oh yay, Elliott! Taylor on harmonica! Ok, y’all thought Scrappy Doo was white. I think he’s transparent after seeing that dance, and wow, did a bass note just come out of that scrawny body? Now it’s “Don’t Stop”. Elliott again! Man, I wish he was in the final. I love his voice so much.
Darnit, I’m out of sushi.
That new show Standoff is gonna have Gina Torres. I’m in, Zoe.
Cheesy Ford commercial is a montage of the previous ones to the tune of “Don’t Stop”. And wow, Katharine and Taylor both get Ford Mustang convertibles.
“Proudest Family Moment”. It’s a tossup between Elliott’s mum and Chris’s wife. Because I mean, we get to see McPops cry all the time. And Elliott’s mum wins, and I just love her. And now Elliott is singing “One Love” with Mary J. Blige. Wow, she looks fantastic. Oh, the singing is great too. It’ll be hard to beat this tonight, she’s off the charts, and Elliott’s Elliott. I’m so farklempt, y’all.
Uhhhh. At 9:00, we got the west coast feed. On the east coast. Fire that guy, if I’m missing Taylor or Mandisa song. I shall be very put out. WHAT IS GOING ON??? WE JUST GOT THE OPENING CREDITS AGAIN (at 9:00 on the Tivo).
Ok, it just switched back to the east coast feed, partway into Taylor’s “In the Ghetto” duet with Toni Braxton. It’s good she’s on the show and I can see her definitely female legs, because I’ve always wondered if she was really a man. Question answered.
So what did we miss, between Elliott singing and Taylor singing?
The girls are singing “Man, I Feel Like A Woman”, which is just wrong, because that’s the song Mandisa was eliminated for. [UPDATE: I think I have to correct myself here, because I think Mandisa was eliminated the night she sang “Any Man of Mine”. Well, anyway, boring Shania song.] And Kat sang it, Mandisa was just dancing in the background. Now they’re singing “Trouble”, which Elliott sang so well. Mandisa finally sings a little on “I’m a Woman”. Now Kat is singing “Natural Woman”. Lisa Tucker. Paris sounds like her voice is worn out. Now “I’m Every Woman”, and Mandisa finally takes center stage. This is her track on the AI:5 CD, which Frank ordered, and which arrived for me in the mail today. Good grief, how is Mandisa not in the final. Shame.
BTW, after I’ve heard the whole CD, I’ll review it for you.
“Best Impersonation” is next. That Cher guy should win. Oh dear. I’d forgotten about the Clay impersonator. Nevermind, he should win for the pee thing. And Michael Sandecki is actually there. And oh no, he’s singing. “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”.
FRANK: What ever happened to Ruben?
SARAHK: Who cares?
Oh the monkeys of Fox love me!!!! CLAY!!!! I LOVE THAT VOICE SOOOO MUCH!!! AND HE LOOKS SO GOOD!!! The Davey Jones hair, dark brown, is perfect for Clay. And once that impersonator kid shuts up, wow. What a voice. That’s how it’s done, wannabes. Have a voice like that. He’s amazing. Lemme tell y’all, when I bought the “Bridge Over Troubled Water” single (the day it came out, I was at Target at 7 a.m.), I played it over and over and over until Scott came into the kitchen (I was living with Scott & Candace at the time) and said, “Ok. I like it, too, but that’s enough.” sigh I adore Clay. Y’all shoulda heard me swooning, it was a little embarrassing.
Burt Bacharach is back (say that 3 times fast) for the finalists. “What the World Needs Now.” Wow, Katharine looks fantastic in that red dress. LOL, when Ace sang the first notes, “The look….”, I thought he was going to sing, “The look, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our lives…” Melissa looks and sounds great. This is Ace and Melissa on some song I find unfamiliar. Kellie is singing, and my ears hurt. “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again” or something. Should they really give her a song with more than 2 notes? Bucky is singing “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head”. Is there any possible connection between all these songs [UPDATE: Other than the obvious Bacharach common thread]? I’m not catching a flow here. Aw, Bucky. I like him. Mandisa is singing “I Say A Little Prayer For You”. Man, she just eclipses Katharine and Kellie. Lisa: some song I don’t know. Something about believers and believing. ELLIOTT!! is singing “A House is Not a Home”. Didn’t he sing this earlier this year? I know it’s been sung on AI. Wow, how didn’t he make it to the final? Scrappy Doo: This is a disaster. I don’t know whether to laugh or cover my eyes. He’s singing “Pussycat, pussycat, I love you…” and, um… waving his hand in front of his private area. I’m not kidding. Chris, Ace, Scrappy singing “Moon and New York City”. I love that song. Paris is singing that song about birds suddenly appearing, etc. and introduces Dionne Warwick. Wow, she looks great for 175. Seriously. Fantastic.
Dionne is singing. All the girls are wearing red dresses. They look purty. Yay, song change to “That’s What Friends Are For”. And everyone joins her.
“Best Male Bonding”. LOL. Chris/Ace. Ryan/Taylor. The Brokenote Cowboys. They should win, hands down. That whole bonding thing made me cry real tears, the kind with saline and everything. LOL, the Brokenote Cowboys are singing “Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys”. You know, they really don’t sound bad. Of course, the other two besides Garet have really good voices, but they stuck with the Crying Cowboy, and it was so adorable. Garet sounds pretty good, too. Ok, that was great fun.
I really liked the awards show format.
Prince is there. I’ve gotta give him props, there were many radio days in the 90s made better by him. You know, before he got all “don’t say my name” on us. He just combed his hair on stage. F’reals. His dancers are more spastic than Taylor. At first I thought they had someone on stage trying to imitate Taylor. I thought they would next get on their knees to emulate the McSquat.
Right before the results, Katharine and her wedding dress are dueting with Taylor on “I’ve Had the Time of My Life”. Possibly one of the worst Idol moments ever. Taylor missed a cue, Katharine’s singing Taylor’s parts, and she’s prancing around in that dress with a train, and yeck. Katharine should never ever sing harmony. She’s too all about herself. When you sing harmony, you don’t sing as loud as the melody. Anyway, that was a disaster.
And the winner is… FOREGONE CONCLUSION!!!! I mean, TAYLOR HICKS!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS, TAYLOR!! You were my favorite in the beginning. I kinda wavered on you a lot, but you deserved it. Consistently the best, the fewest bum notes, and you love music. Just like me. And this is all about me.
David Hasselhoff is crying in the audience. I kinda teared up myself. No word on McDaddy. Katharine’s dress threatens to cover the stage and become a Kodak Theater Fire Hazard. Taylor is screaming “Soul Patrol!!!”, and the DVR cuts off. Did he sing? I’ll never know.
So that’s it. No more AI blogging until next year. Until then, I wanna hear about your suntan. SUNTAN PATROL!
I heard that Chris was asked to be the lead singer for Fuel…
I heard the same thing…
But dang. That was creepy: The Clay impersonator, and then the Clay impersonator nearly having a seizure and then gazing lovingly in Clay’s direction as Clay serenaded us all…
Yikes
Mm. Sushi.
My fiancee makes great California roles. It helps that she’s actually Japanese, though.
Ugh…that MeatLoaf song killed me. I love the original song, and I’m a HUGE MeatLoaf fan…but the arranger on that should be shot, then stabbed, then hung, then draw, quartered, and finally disemboweled.
Live. Throwing Copper. ’nuff said.
they should hire however revamped the AI finale to do the Oscars — that was a million times better than previous attempts! very entertaining — and how in he world did they ever get Prince!
HiDef got the wrong feed for the second hour. We switched to old NTSC station and caught the middle of Carrie Underwood singing her latest single. It was very good.
The whole night seemed like a showcase of why Kat shouldn’t have been in the final. Sarah… I actually thought Kellie did Bacharach’s song very well. It reminded me of her first audition.
Taylor did sing at the end, but it was that poorly written single he sang from the night before (but it sounded better… maybe it grows on you).
Congratulations to Taylor Hicks.
Good thing you missed the last song sarahk. It sucked. I did not watch any of the season, just the finale tonight. If the season was anything like that group of guys singing “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” then I am glad I did not watch. Me and my wife laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. And I am with Spidey on the Clay Aiken thing. That was disgusting. Singing an Elton John song just kind of highlighted the wierdness of it. There is one thing that is indisputable. Pickler is hot! Who cares if she can sing, or not. She can get one of those Paris Hilton, million-dollar, waving jobs.
I think this has pretty much been the best season of the show so far, with an amazing variety of very strong talent.
I also liked Taylor from the very beginning. Taylor and Paris, and Elliot was probably my #3. Frankly they all did well.
People who snark on a show they haven’t even watched, or, turn crybaby because their favorite didn’t win, are just being, well, crybabies. You know, like Kerry voters. 😉
Well, at least Katherine didn’t run into a shortage of cleavage-baring dresses (Of course, apparently neither did her mom).
And Sarahk, you are right. Kat is all about “McMe!!”. Did anyone else notice that during “I’ve had the Time of My Life”, she hardly acknowledged Taylor was even there?
GO TAYLOR!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Since you asked, the common thread on all those songs?? Umm… they were all written by Burt Bacharach. And I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” was Meatloaf’s before Celine ever left Canada. And, not to be picky, but the guy Paris sang with is Al Jerreau, not Jerome (though I could be a little off on the spelling). You’re WAY young, huh?? LOL
And since it’s the last AI update I’ll say it; I never got Elliot’s appeal. My opinion is that the judges thought they were hearing Jim Nabors whenever they watched Elliot sing. Never thought Taylor would make it this far, but I’m so happy America has great taste after all.
Thanks for thinking so, Grama, no, I’ll be 30 in July, so right now I’m not feeling WAY young.
Yeah, I got that the common thread was Bacharach, I may have gotten Al Jerreau’s name wrong, but I’m not quite a moron. What I meant was other than that, there was no flow. One song didn’t lead into another, they didn’t all have a common theme. i.e., when the girls sang, all the songs except “Trouble” were about being women and even had “women” or “woman” in the title. If you’re gonna do a medley of one legend’s songs, get a common thread, make them flow somehow so that the whole audience doesn’t feel disheveled after listening.
About the Meatloaf song. I’ve never been a Meatloaf fan and never heard his version. If this version from last night was the original… it SUCKS, and Celine only improved on it. And none of that changes the fact that when the duet was going on last night, it sounded like they just shook up the Boggle cube and said, “Hey, let’s sing that.”
Meatloaf sounded out of breath. Like an old man.
Was Toni Braxton’s mic even on? I couldn’t tell.
I can’t figure out this guy named Meatloaf? What’s the appeal?
Lisa’s performance of “Alfie” was too good not to get an honorable mention. Her voice is phenomenal!
Ah, c’mon. I didn’t think that Kat and Taylor’s duet “time of my life” was so bad. In fact, they actually LOOKED as if they were having the time of their lives.
Clay’s do was a bit much for me – overly styled. That impersonator, who I think was an unemployed comedian, ruined the song. But it was a funny segment.
Sarahk, your running commentary was great. Had my eyes tearing from laughter.
I am with Franklinstein. Live, “Throwing Copper.” It all you need to know.
Sarah, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to sound critical, really. That’s the problem with this Internet thingie; it’s so hard to see tongue-in-cheek, even with a good connection.
I couldn’t agree more about Meatloaf; his only appeal ever was his way of stringing clever lyrics together. For the uninitiated probably the most memorable of his tunes was “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” But I’ve never been much of a fan either.
As for last night, it seemed to me Toni Braxton got into some serious druggage backstage before appearing. The only bright spots to me were Dionne Warwick and Prince. (I’d like to hate him, but there’s just something about his music.)
I’m going to miss your updates… been looking forward to them on Wed. mornings for a while now.
I thought that it was a fantastic show with some great surprises! Wow Clay Aikin looked so different! Katherine should have won. She is miles ahead of Taylor Hicks!! She can sing! It should have been her and Chris in the final.
I loved Clay singing “Don’t let your son go down on me” by Elton John with his clone-gone-wrong adoringly ogling him. Talk about a kodiak moment.
Yeah, that’s right, I said kodiak! I wish a friggin’ bear would’ve come out and mauled da both of em!
You can’t be serious. This is hands down the worst so far. One, count them, ONE week had performances good enough to keep and not delete. Every other week was mediocre, mediocre, mediocre.
I was out having dinner and they had the show on without the sound. When Clay came out, I didn’t make the connection and thougt it was K.D Lang. Learning that is was Clay only makes it funnier.
yeah, I had the sound off too. the only thing that made Spaz’s win and performances bearable… of course, the video off would have been even better.
worst season ever, and that’s saying a lot given the two previous seasons (especially the 3rd). Kat and Elliot did grow on me a bit, but I still say Mandisa was the only one even deserving of being in the final 12, with Paris up there too. the upside is, after three straight horrible seasons, I have no desire ever to watch this crap again.
I love Clay, too but man…he looked absolutely creepy in that fake-colored dark, flat hair. WTF? I was horrified. Mary J was NOT amazing. She freaking over took the stage and drowned out Elliot. I LOVE Elliot so what a shame she screached her way through that beautiful U2 song and tried to knock E. out of the picture. Also, Toni Braxton singing with Taylor on Elvis’s Ghetto song. Yee-effing-ikes! Was she loaded or what? Did someone NOT tell her that the song is NOT about sex and hooring? She acted like a mindless slut up there, strutting around like she was selling her big ass for sex up there. Hello?! The song is about children in the ghetto NOT a hoor trying to turn people on with her big crotch. Sheesh. if you have a good voice–use it! Don’t rely on the same old tired sex crap time after time.
Prince sounded awful, too. Was it just the acoustics in that place? Most of the songs fell way short to me. NOthing was really stirring or good. Why the HELL would they make Chris sing “Between the Moon and New York City.” ?? Why?? That song is HORRIBLE!! Egads! Wish they just stuck to all of Burt’s old, wonderfully classic stuff. Dionne should give a lesson to all the girls (especially Mary J Blige and Toni Braxton), on how you can sing a great song without losing the melody by screaming, screeching and doing endless runs that—up and down and all over the bloody place.
When Meatloaf first opened his mouth, I almost had to run screaming from the room. I was so embarrassed. It was so painful to sit through. And why coudln’t they find a classier, less OVER used song for Taylor and Kat to sing…Time of My Life? Pleeaaaze! How many times have we had to sit through that sappy crap from Dirty Dancing to every idiotic dueting couple across the globe.
Ironically, the Brokenote Cowboys sounded tighter than anyone that night. Well, except for Chris when he sang with Live. That was excellent but then, when you watch Chris and hear him, you feel like you’re really watching a star which is quite unlike the feeling you get when you watch Taylor. Anyhow the Brokenote Cowboys did a great job. They harmonized correctly, sounded strong vocally and had more presence than most of the other acts.
I still love Chris and Elliot. The best thing that could have happened to either of those boys is NOT winning American Idol which to me, takes talent and forces it to sing crappy, third-rate, sap-sucker, AVERAGE pop songs. A fate worse than death for most truly gifted and unique talents.
**scuze my typos. I flew through this and have no spell check.
Two funniest moments that made it totally worth watching the finale:
1) That part with the Clay impersonator was freakin’ hilarious!!! He was definitely falling in love with Clay. He’s probably still jacking off right now. What a psycho.
2) My wife and I looked at each other and simultaneously said, “Is that David Hasselhoff? Is he CRYING?” Ha ha ha ha ha! That guy from The Soup is going to have a ball with that one!