I Can Demand Stuff Too!

Our old pal Speakerof the House Dennis Hastert (R?) is demanding the FBI return documents from a search of a allegedly, though y’know probably, actually, since they caught him on video oand all, corrupt congressman’s office and take the agents involved off the case. Well, poop be upon you, and your demands Mr. Speaker, because I have a demand or two, maybe three of my own.
* I demand the FBI KEEP (that’s right I said it, keep) the documents! Do whatever you want with them. Read them, copy them. See if there’s any reference of any speakers of any houses getting any those tinfoil wrapped lettuce leftovers for his freezer.
* I demand the FBI KEEP (that’s right I said it twice, keep) the agents ON the case! Why take them off? What a waste of time. They’re keeping the documents, didn’t you read my other demand? The one where I demanded they KEEP them? We want some new agents to have to go over them and find out about his other probable alleged activity?
* I demand that Dennis Hastert tell the American taxpayers the real reaaon why he’s acting like such a cover-uppity dingus instead of acting like he supports truth, justice and the American way.
Those are my demands and they trump any Speaker’s demands because I’m ******
[We interrupt this post to tell you]

TAYLOR HICKS WON AMERICAN IDOL!

Sorry McPhan’s, the McPheever has broken.

8 Comments

  1. Perhaps we can get Simon to create a spinoff called “American Idle”. He could audition members of Congress to sing about their struggles to fight the big bad FBI who had the temerity (like that one MFL?) to confiscate the records of one of the stalwarts in the fight against the culture of corruption that is the Republican Party. Moving on up!

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