Lacking any real news, the New York Times is reporting that Dick Cheney suggested warrantless wire-taps of purely domestic phone calls. Apparently the Bush administration is now guilty of things it DIDN’T do, too.
Here are some of the other Cheney suggestions that got shot down:
- Having Americans prove their loyalty by getting a Mohammed cartoon tattooed on their ass.
- Guess what would have formed Mohammed’s mouth?
- If this one ever does pass, I’m already compliant.
- No one allowed on a plane without an official “NOT A TERRORIST” hand stamp.
- Bush should use his connections with God to cause a plague of locusts to descend on terrorist training camps.
- And San Francisco.
- No one who owns a red light saber will be allowed to learn the ways of the Force.
- No left-handed sword-fighting unless you are, indeed, left-handed.
- Anyone who can make that “ULULULULULULU!” sound will be relocated to a highly flammable building in Waco.
- Random pop-culture quizzes with questions like “Who won the World Series?”, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”, and “What celestial body does Frank J. advocate nuking?”
- Arrest anyone wearing any form of turban, especially hot, naked women just stepping out of the shower.
If you’ve gotten wind of any of his other rejected schemes, let me know.
//* No left-handed sword-fighting unless you are, indeed, left-handed.//
But right-handed is boring and too fast…sword fighting I mean…geez you guys have gutter brains.
Heehee, another funny list, nice one Harv!!
Individuals suspected of terrorism who hunt (yeah, right) must where a chartreuse vest in leiu of hunter’s orange for easier identification.
Nuking any country with a population that exceeds the total number of toilet paper rolls in that country at any given time.
Immediate deportation to GITMO anyone who ducks when the business end of the VP’s shotgun just “happens” to point in their general direction.
Using inmates from GITMO for a weekly re-enactment of one of the last scenes from the 1987 movie “Wanted: Dead or Alive” where Rutger Hauer (bounty hunter) shoves a grenade into the mouth of a hand tied Gene Simmons (terrorist), pulls the pin, and walks away.
Anyone with six fingers on his right had will be executed
Uh…I didn’t see those suggestions in any mainstream newspaper. Maybe you moonbats think that DU or KOS is a mainstream media, but I’ve got news for you. It isn’t.
Dang Hippies. I suggest you turn off “Air America” and go to college! You might learn something.
I shudder to think of the use to which the inhabitants of San Francisco will put those poor locusts.
Locusts?
Oh, you mean “Frisco flying gerbils”.
Hmm. Who won the World Series? It sure wasn’t the Astros.
Oh, wait. It was the White Sox!
Repeat in ’06! WHOO!
*He gets the next available “Locks for Love” wig.
*It will be made illegal to go hunting with lawyers until you have a BAC of at least .2 or higher.