This is the classic question raised by child psychologists around the world. Every young boy goes through a crazy phase where they try on mommy’s high heels, put on silly hats, and play soccer. (Note: Not at the same time.)
It turns out that Posh Spice’s husband is some kind of soccer player. Not only that, but he appears to be coming to America and is gonna play right in my back yard!! (Note to self: Remember to go in the back yard and pick up the dog poo poo.)
After having done some research, I can honestly say that the evidence that soccer is gay is staggering.
Gay Examples:
French player “giving head.”
Black dude practicing “jazz hands.”
and during one match, spectators witnessed an impromptu song and dance routine.
I’m sorry if this offends some of you soccer fans. Tune in next week and I’ll have proof that soccer is also nothing but a girls’ sport.
Remember kids. Stick to good, old-fashioned non gay sports like football.
Adding to the romance of the last photo, the QB and center often room together on road trips and training camp…
…not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I would think that anyone who’s banging Posh Spice could be considered an exception to the soccer/gay rule. Except that Beckham has that whole metrosexual thing going on, so there’s some wiggle room there.
Once upon a time, soccer players were real men. Take George Best, who never met a pint that he didn’t like; or Pele, who had the good taste to star in a John Huston film.
Take George Best, who never met a pint that he didn’t like
Truer words were never spoken. When I lived in London (more than twenty years ago, when George was still a star player), I worked out at the same gym as George. He was nearly always hungover.
Yes – playing soccer does make you gay. It’s all part of the creeping feminization of American society, supported by soccer MOMS, not to mention the multi-cultural garbage being fed our youth.
But at its core, it’s something far simpler: the lazines of today’s school gym programs.
It’s much easier to throw a ball into a group of youngsters and say “Run run run, kick it, kick it,” than to teach them how to turn a 6-4-3 double-play.
And that is gay.
Great analogy there,Bunky…NOT!
That’s the laziness of today’s school gym programs…
This also goes to the point of how self-esteem is valued above all else today (a feminine/gay notion).
I mean, come on, what’s the difference between the high-scorer and a kid who never touched the ball? A goal? Two?
Totally gay…
The biggest argument against soccer in the US is the parents. We never saw parent violence in children’s sporting events until youth soccer, and now it’s spreading to our wholesome non-commie sports such as kids football.
Soccer is clearly a girls’ sport. When American women play soccer, they kick ass like real Americans should, destroying the feeble Chinese, Brazilians, and Europeans. When American men play soccer, they’re depressingly average. Since that clearly wouldn’t be the case in any sport designed for real men, soccer is clearly a women’s game 🙂
Dave you have outdated thinking. Go back to shootin’ at furriners and commie joo fags.
I think catblogging makes you gayer than playing soccer…..
Unfortunately, I have played soccer for many years. I consider most soccer players “soccer fags” – you know the metrosexual types who think they are sweet because they can run around you with a ball stuck their feet. Fortunately, I also play hockey, so usually they get their faces smashed in if they have to coordinate their feet and hands together.
Most unfortunately, I never played real American sports, but I make up for that by making fun of the French Canadians, both of whom like soccer and hockey.
Make the papparrazzi who will be congregating in your “back yard” pick up the dog poo poo now that THEY rather than your DOG will be killing your lawn!
What is that quarterback doing to that center?
It’s been my experience that one does not mess with the girls’ soccer team if one likes having teeth and balls (depending on one’s genetic propensities, some of the above may not apply).
In other words, the girls’ soccer team will beat you up hardcore, laughing all the while.
The boys’ team, on the other hand… not so much.
Football, the great American game of homosexual tag. What other sport features both “tight ends” and “wide receivers” on teams of artificially bulked up men wearing tight pants?
I told that to my ex brother-in-law one time. Since I’d played as an offensive tackle on my high school team and he was a track star, he was kinda at a loss for words.
Subvet – your brother-in-law’s loss for words probably had more to do with you choosing to come out of the closet at his first Thanksgiving with your family than anything else…
Fact is most women would rather date a soccer player than a football player. Painting with a broad brush, they are in better condition, they are definitely smarter (on the whole) and don’t have mouths like open cess pools.
Name soccer players that have been charged with slitting their wives throats and or stabbing someone in a bar, please. To say they, soccer players, are not as inherently violent is stating the obvious.
I enjoy football more than soccer but if you want to see real mayhem, turn on Aussie rules football. Now that’s what I call carnage.
And that’s why boxing is still the manliest sport. They fight over a belt and a purse.
It’s like following my sister and her friends through Macy’s. But shopping is more of an endurance trial–no rounds, all day, every weekend.
Top that!
A bunch of soccer players went into a gay bar and a soccer game broke out.
Wasn’t there a movie awhile back called “Bend over like Beckhem”? Sounds kinda gay to me.
Here’s the BEST “soccer is teh ghey” image ever.
(Safe for work)
Bunkerboy, who told you it was at Thanksgiving? Are we related? Skippy, is that you????
Not at the same time??? Are you sure!?! Ahhh, F*** … I really messed up that part of my life …
Right Wing Duck must have been a piss poor gym student. He’s taking it out on people who are skilled..