17 Comments

  1. Was this one verified? I heard Mr. Thompson was holding his personally inscribed copy of Starship Troopers in his, um, other hand (I can’t bring myself to say “left hand”) when this happened.

  2. Fred Thompson bathes nightly in a vicous pool made from the blood of freshly slain Iraqi insurgents–just to keep his skin soft.
    Death did not “take a holiday,” he actually had to take a day of sick leave after Fred Thompson kicked his ass.
    Legend has it that Billy the Kid once killed a man for snoring. Fred Thompson has killed many men for nasal breathing and distasteful cases of acne.
    Fred Thompson told his cardiologist don’t worry about using a defibrolator on him, he’d just run down to the nearest metro and throw himself onto the electrified third rail.
    Fred Thompson, while in Congress, not only paved the road to hell, he made sure he came in under budget and ahead of schedule.
    Fred Thompson was asked to resign his position on “Law and Order” because even the actors who played criminals did not want to get on the bad side of Thompson’s TV character.
    Fred Thompson once did drugs. He gave it up though when he couldn’t artificially replace the high he gets while slowly destroying the souls of the damned.
    Whenever Fred Thompson enters a room, the temperature mysteriously drops by ten degrees.
    Fred Thompson was bitten by a radioactive spider in high school, imparting to the spider Fred Thompson-like powers.
    Fred Thompson refuses to obey the First Law of Thermodynamics on principle.
    Fred Thomson deliberately piloted the Titanic into an iceberg because someone cheated him at high-stakes shuffleboard.
    While in the Senate, Thompson once killed and ate a congressman in front of a visiting troop of girl scouts, as part of his demonstration of “how a bill becomes law.

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