People keep getting stumped when asked to name an accomplishment of Barack Obama, so I thought I’d help. Barack Obama has been a U.S. Senator for a little over three years now. In that time, there have been 1,114 votes. That’s almost one vote a day. That means about once a day, Obama has had to stand up and decide whether to vote “yea” or “nay”… or “present” (he likes present, especially for the tough votes; maybe he didn’t know how to vote, but at least he felt strongly enough to show up). Despite that grueling schedule, Obama has only missed about a sixth of those votes. Now most of that has been in the last year where he’s missed over a third of the votes, but that’s because after his first two years of “yea,” “nay,” and “present” voting, he felt he was good enough to be president. Some of you may say that doesn’t excuse him of not showing up for crucial bills to vote “present,” but I think Obama has clearly already displayed his competency at voting on stuff, and I don’t know what more you want from him. It’s time we give him more responsibility… such as maybe a job where he has four multiple choice answers to questions (with the fourth answer being “I don’t know” — he’ll like that one). And isn’t that essentially what the job of U.S. President is?
I’m really asking; I have no idea. I’ve never been president.
Give him a lantern and let him stand on The White House lawn…
Let him drive a presidential limo?
ouch… those are a little below the belt. I think making him our new Foreign Ambassador to Cuba should educate him on the evils of socialism, or at least maybe he’d like it so much that he would stay there… but lawn jockeys and limo drivers are positions tinged with racial epithets… we’re better than that, aren’t we?
I have plenty of accomplishments! I can dress myself (once Michelle picks out my clothes). I can tie my own shoes (the velcro makes it so easy). Uh……HOPE! CHANGE!
I think bunkerboy and I were just offering the greatest amount of hope for him. Actually, the limo driver is a coveted position. Very cushy position in the SS.
An “Obama Accomplishment Of The Day” category? There’s tons of funny gold there.
Actually, Obama’s campaign was launched from a dirty diaper. His baby smelled sour, and he said to his wife, “I HOPE that illegal we hired gets her lazy ass up here to CHANGE that baby soon. Why are we paying her $1.00 a day?” The light went on over his head, he launched an exhaustive search to find a speech writer that could write words for him, and explain to him the meanings of those with more than one syllable, and now he’s apparently qualified to be president.
I guess it’s up to me to defend Barack. Here are some of his accomplishments:
– Looks good in a suit
– Isn’t Hillary
– Attended a madrassa
– Danced with Ellen Degeneress
– Has maintained his girlish figure
– Learned where Iraq is (more or less)
– Figured out that people who feel they’re entitled to everything want you to give them free crap. He doesn’t really know where the money to buy the free crap comes from, but he’s still learning.
– Got the attention of young people (much like fireworks, or a doobie, or someone racking themselves while doing a skateboarding trick)
I will thank you to keep these in mind while speaking about Senator Obama.
Excellent – I love it!
Frank, I really don’t think Obama can handle 4-part multiple choice assignments. I mean, he’s getting most of the Yes / No questions wrong right now.
Don’t you think some of this Obamamania is really anti-Hillary fever? I hope the effort to expose him as a socialist airhead doesn’t peak too soon and let Hillary make a comeback. That would be bad. Hillary needs to go away crying – permanently.
I said it earlier and i’ll say it again… Obama and Hillary ARE candidates of change…
SEX CHANGE!!!
I leave it up to you fine people to define just how this works…
Barak’s accomplishment of the day.
Woke up. Check
Also, I didn’t wet the bed today. That’s the first time I managed that in weeks! Now, there’s an accomplishment for ya!
CHANGE!
HOPE!
RedWhiteAndTrue, I said it to GregVolk last night, but I’ll say it to you with the word “sex” added (and slight modification):
“And I can tell you’re proud of your hope for sex change, RedWhiteAndTrue. I just hope you can change your hope for sex into pride of your sex change. Being proud of sex change is better than hope for sex. And changing hope for sex into pride of sex is a sign of hope for sex and sex change.”
Wizbang has some video that is on point. Sorry about the copy and paste but I am too lazy to look it up and can’t remember off hand how to do the HTML.
http://wizbangblog.com/content/2008/02/20/even-his-supporters-cant-come-up-with-anything-substantial.php
#14 – Posted by……….. Way to stand up for your opinions. What’s the matter can’t think up an appropriate screen name? How about Yellow-bellied Sap Sucker? It’s a pretty bird.
Actually, [blank], it was me, Jimmy. But you would know that if you were reading last night. Ha!
I wasn’t reading last night sorry. I must have read the preceding posts wrong, were you ragging on RWT or Obama. Some times I get confused. Age does that to you, you know.
If I misinterpreted …….. mea culpa. So very sorry.
The whole thing between some of us, seanmahair, is just an inside joke of injecting as much parody nonsense about Obama’s “pride”, “change”, and “hope” as we can. Like how many nonsensical ways can we twist this crap into obvious babble for people who need to be hit on the forehead in order to get it.
aww, you guys! look how nicely we’re playing!
Well, there’s something to be said for electing a handsome airhead to the Presidency. We need someone to look smart and stylish giving vaporous speeches on the White House lawn about hope and change. He can also do it for foreign heads of state, and at the UN. He’ll be a full-employment charity work for fellow airheads, who can get plush jobs analyzing the hope content of his latest speech for TV network news. Was that speech 100% hope, Chris, or only 97.5%? I think his average is down lately…
We should keep airheads busy, because otherwise they can accidentally land in serious jobs and start causing trouble. Gosh, why should it cost money to treat cancer? That’s mean. Why don’t we just pass a law saying it has to be free? What could possibly go wrong?!
As long as you remember that he’s an airhead, and make sure his party doesn’t control Congress, you should be mostly OK. The Federal bureaucracy, where it isn’t already run by computers, acts as sensibly as a chicken with its head cut off anyway, so actually having its head cut off won’t matter much. And if his party doesn’t control Congress, hopefully Congress will be limited to giving itself pay raises, holding hearings on steroid use by PGA golfers, and declaring January 22 National Hope ‘n’ Change Day.
It’s not a totally bad idea to have a government everyone sees as having the good sense and judgment of a spoiled 5-year-old. Keeps people actively working to take away its power and money, which is always a good thing.
The only serious blot on our escutcheon would be the abrupt abandonment of the Iraqis, which would turn the nascent possibility of a long-lasting friendship and permanent influence in that part of the world into a gross betrayal that would snuff out American influence in the Middle East for a generation.
There’s always the possibility of another 9/11, despite the thrashing GWB has given its likely sources. But that’s why the Constitution allows removal from office. If something serious happens, America can stop masturbating with its Obamadildo and install a serious leader, if it wants.
And while he’s missing votes, we are still represented by our other senator – Dick Durbin. Think about it – Obama is Illinois’ right wing senator. Shuddddder.
I just read Rachel Lucas’ latest:
A big round of applause
Whoaa, that just says it all.
Obama’s short speeches are like an hour long. His SOTU speech would probably go on for like a day. He has crazed fans not supporters that would do anything he wants. We have no idea what he stands for except far left craziness. He might be dangerous. He should not be elected but probably will be.
Another stunning read about Obama and Hillary:
Larry Kudlow’s: It’s Over (National Review)
On the bright side, one of his accomplishments would be ushering in a new Republican congress.
He seems like the kind of guy who would easily be manipulated by congress.
Nate has become ensnared in our right leaning way of thinking. I’ve said it before, there is HOPE for Nate.
Let’s test my theory:
Nate, what is the primary source of global warming?
Hint…..brilliant rays of….
No hints! That is Terrible, Troy.
pfft! Hillary will pull even on March 4 and the media will be forced to stop pretending Obama is a juggernaught. Obama takes Wyoming on March 8 and no one notices. Obama faces a trial in Mississippi where the demographic presents him with a riddle with many wrong answers and maybe a right one. He squeaks by and has six weeks to repair any damage before Hillary mops the floor with him in PA April 22. After that it is all momentum and avoiding mistakes. Hillary’s machine is just hitting its stride and Obama’s is already flinging chunks of rubber.
Hillary takes this at a walk, may God have mercy on our souls.
Nate, what is the primary source of global warming?
That’s off-topic from the Obama sucks theme of this thread but I believe it is Earth’s natural cycle that has been sped up by the burning of fossil fuels and greenhouse gas emissions. It is not possible to tell which of those is the primary cause – there are multiple factors. Even if fossil fuels do not cause global warming the only harm in reducing them and other pollutants would be a cleaner world for us to live in and totally enjoy! What’s wrong with that? Plus green technology could be both profitable and fun!
13 days to go, badmartin, to some really good beer, wine and pretzels and the best show on Earth. Better than the Super Bowl. I think I’ll cook up some of those little, BBQ wieners to go with it. And a nice cheese plate.
Oh, and Nate, I heard a buzzer.
Gee, you guys are mean. I would gladly sacrifice all human life it would keep Mother Earth from getting a fever.
I’d be careful about what you post here! When he stomps John McPain it’s going to be payback time starting with you guys! As for me, I think Obama rocks! He’s my guy! Change and Hope are what I’m all about these days…
Oh, and Nate, I heard a buzzer.
Is this buzzer some kind of weird noise your head makes. I would hate to have a buzzing noise in my head.
You’re gonna Barock around the clock tonight,
You’re gonna Barock, Barock, Barock, ’til broad daylight,
Gonna Barock, gonna Barock around the clock tonight.
Gee, you guys are mean. I would gladly sacrifice all human life it would keep Mother Earth from getting a fever.
Other Nate that is going too far.
To that “Other Nate,” leave Nate ALONE, man, just leave him ALONE!
Now, will the real Nate please stand up?
ussjimmy, your nose is going to grow.
Jimmy thanks for the heads up, I missed the memo.
Seriously Nate, what good is the earth without people. I know I have some serious doubts as to their usefulness, but it’s like the whole if a tree falls in the forest thing. If there are no people to appreciate it’s beauty does it really matter how clean and pretty it is.
RWT yes we are playing nicely today but that can happen as long as the trolls are off doing whatever it is trolls do during the day. Eating dogs, stealing children, causing mass mayhem, teaching a college class in basketweaving. Who knows.
Some website said something like this about Hillary, “It ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings. Hillary IS the fat lady, and she ain’t singin’ yet!”
Yeah, well, maybe she’ll cry, instead. And THAT will be our sign that it’s over, ussjc. You can relax then and remove your cup.
Well, I do enjoy eating dogs to help save Mother Earth. All that stinky methane causing her to get a fever! I’ll work on killing all humans later. I don’t think I can eat 6 billion of them, but I have been practicing in the men’s room.
Nate ( or alternate Nate- whoever) There are medicines for your condition. Come in out of the fog. There’s disturbing and then there’s downright oooky.
Seriously honey park the weirdsmobile and take your meds.
A “weirdsmobile”? I never heard of that car, but I don’t drive a car anyway. Driving cars makes Mother Earth cry. And I like fog. Fog is Mother Earth giving me a big hug.
I don’t need any medication, thank you. But if I do, President Obama will give it to me for free because he is nice.
I’m only saying nice things and raising some rather mild concerns about climate change. The other Nate is here saying things about dogs, cars and people that I do not agree with. The Other Nate is ruining what was a nice day. If it is one of you please stop it because it is making me kind of sad. Plus, you really don’t want to get on my bad side. Know what I mean?
Nate
Do you know who else gives out great free stuff?
Strangers!
Between them and Obama, I’m still trying to figure out who is more dangerous
You’re right! Strangers give out really good candy. It makes me smile when they do that.
I hope you know the Teamsters are going to endorse me for change. I also hope you know to vote for me if you don’t want those hopeful Teamsters to change your joints to bend both ways.
HOPE!
CHANGE!
An “Obama Accomplishment Of The Day” category? There’s tons of funny gold there.
That’s a brilliant idea.
Hey hey hey, Barack’s managed to enthrall millions of my fellow youth with his magic flute. That’s got to be worth something.
Oh, and Mr. Obama (#13), getting through the night without wetting the bed means that you DON’T HAVE TO change.
31 – Posted by: Nate on February 20, 2008 03:25 PM
Who says Carbon Dioxide is a pollutant?
Here is an amusing interview by Chris Matthews asking an Obama supporter to name any accomplishments he may have.
accomplishments
I’m leaving. Too many Nates.
Nate, Nate, Nate. Off topic? Ok. Still, primary cause of global warming? Why that would be our Sun. And the biggest source of greenhouse gas would be our oceans, in the form of water vapor. CO2 (no idea how to do a subscript in html) is taken in by plants and they produce O2. (O3 too, I believe, not positive) Particulate carbon would be more of a problem, but I think it is more of a problem for those who breath it.
Since those who get all worked up about this can’t decide whether it is warming or cooling, I tend to dismiss them like those who can’t decide whether coffee is good or bad for your health. I like drinking the stuff, so I drink it. Living will kill you when all is said and done.
TOP OBAMA ACCOMPLISHMENT:
He has seriously contended with Hillary’s unquenchable desire for power without, so far, being found face down in Fort Marcy Park.
SUCK IT OBAMA WILL BE YOUR PRESIDENT ALL AMERICANS WILL BE REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE IN 1 OR 2 YEARS OF CITIZEN SERVICE TO HELPS PEOPLE! GO OBAMA
Peaceninja has a phallic obsession. They have treatment for that kind of condition, but it would probably be helpful if a mature person could take the keyboard out of their frenzied, shaking, overwrought hands and put them to bed.
Give the rest of us a break.
to all global warming nuts…the temperature has been hitting record lows here in minnesota…i dont really like it…can everyone please leave their suv’s running over night..k thanks
I agree with #57. It is currently 20 deg. warmer in Barrow, Alaska, at the arctic circle than it is in St. Paul, MN.
Once all you Nates get it worked out what exactly causes global warming, send a crate of it to the Twin Cities and I will decrease the intensity of your headaches by 8%, 12% if you send it via overnight.
Present!!