Three Day Weekend!

So what did you all do for Memorial Day Weekend? In honor of our military, I punched some hippies. I was going to punch more, but then these aliens landed and I was like, “Why you messing with me for punching hippies? Are you on their side?” So I took out a shotgun and killed all the aliens. Then the town gave me a medal for killing the aliens since as far as anyone knew, they were very evil. Then I got ice cream.

21 Comments

  1. To honor the brave men and women fighting overseas, I wanted to do something for them that they couldn’t do themselves. So I cracked open a beer in their honor.
    I then emailed every person I knew that was currently in theater and let them know how good it was. Those ingrates weren’t very appreciative.

  2. I bicycled in the morning, under the fog and clouds. Then I went out for barbecue. In the evening, my girlfriend picked a fight with me. She’s going back to Hong Kong as soon as she can. As you can see, it was a wonderful day.

  3. I understand that Memorial day is to remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for this great country, but do you know WHY we have essentially two days to honor our current and past Service Members?
    Answer: BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT!!
    If you were in the military, THANK YOU!!

  4. Actually, when I hung my flag out front it immediately burst into flames. I then replaced it and the new one hung there limply and when I wasn’t looking it reversed itself and hung upside down. I think Old Glory is trying to tell me something about living in The People’s Republic of Minnesota-or-it’s just the idea of this state running a Dill Weed like Franken that caused this display of civil disobedience!

  5. I annoyed vegetarian hippies by spending the weekend wrapping bratwurst. My hometown holds the world’s largest brat fest every Memorial Day. We broke the world record this year, with 191,712 brats sold during the weekend. PETA held a vegetarian brat fest in protest, but they only sold 600 brats. I personally probably dealt with more than that in the three shifts I worked over the weekend. It just goes to show that meat is delicious, and anything made out of soy and textured vegetable protein just can’t compare.

  6. Saturday: Worked. Cooked dinner. Big kettle of smoked sausages with sour kraut mixed with vedalia onions, apple slices and brown sugar. Delicious. Drank beer.
    Sunday: Attended church in the morning. Feast of Corpus Christi. Closing Hymn was America The Beautiful. 3rd verse made me cry. Sang louder to keep my voice from cracking.
    Oh beautiful for heroes proved in liberating strife.
    Who more than self their country loved
    and mercy more than life.
    America, America! May God your gold refine,
    till all success is nobleness
    and every gain devine.
    Took wife to see Iron Man. Good movie. Went home. Drank beer.
    Monday: Day off. Wife had to work. Watched Star Trek marathon. Drank beer.

  7. I went to the Men’sZone and got my haircut even though I am a girl because all of the proceeds Monday went to Operation thank-you, then I went to a Memorial Day Cermony at the Cemetary.
    Next year I’ll need to add something cool like hippie punching.

  8. Awright……he’s fibbin’!! I live in Boise and didn’t hear one damn word about no aliens landing.
    But then I “WAS” clinging on to my guns and religion pretty tightly, it mighta cut the circulation off to my ears?

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