“I bet this will fix the economy!” President Bush fervently wrote out his new plan, but then his desk caught fire. “Aww! I just screwed things up even more! Why am I always doing that?”
He grabbed one of his five fire extinguishers the staff always made him keep on hand and put out his desk. He turned to Dick Cheney who was entering the office. “Where’s my economy guy?”
“He’s fled.”
Bush shrugged. “Well, I did hire him because he was smart.” He put the empty fire extinguisher in his “Stuff to Throw at Harry Reid’s Head” box. “So what’s the plan now, Dick?”
“You just need to get the Congress to pass your $700 billion bailout plan.” Cheney rubbed his hands together greedily.
Bush kept a suspicious eye on Cheney as he sat back at his charred desk. “And then what?”
“That money will then be split up and sent to different corporations to help fix the economy.”
“But really…”
Cheney laughed evilly, the only kind of way he laughed. “All the corporations the money goes to will be shell corporations of Halliburton. Halliburton will recollect the $700 billion and then we’ll flee with it to Mexico. We’ll then use the funds to start a new government there.”
“Doesn’t Mexico already have a government?”
“Eh… considers your definition of ‘government’.”
Bush thought about it for a moment. “Well, at least we have a plan.”
Yeah, but does he have a plan for North Korea starting up it’s nuclear reactor again?
Or the Russians walking out of the UN Security Counis’ foreign minister’s meeting this week on Iran sanctions?
Or the Russians considering the sale of S-300 anti-air missiles to Iran on top of their delivery of 29 Tor-M1 missile batteries?
I think GW has got a snootful of problems and very few plans.
How do I give this 5 stars?
I think he’s taken so much crap for what he’s done in the world for so long he’s just leaving it for the next guy to handle. Not the way to go out, but it’s his choice, I guess. A shame, really.
I think Cheney is kinda sexy, for an old guy.
2 short. and still no strangling. I miss Rumsfeld.
I hear that part of the 700 Large is going to be student loans and car loans. If this is true, I’m headed down to my local Chevy dealer because I have my eye on a new Corvette that I can’t afford. There’s a new model out that is over 600 ponies and it costs over 100 grand so I’m going to belly up to the trough, and sign a loan that I have no intention of paying! Then I will figure out what government agency I need to go and give my sad story to (feel my pain type stuff) and zippity doo da…the Vette, my motorcycle, my Passat and the rest of my current mortgage are all the responsibility of you rubes out there! Muhahahahahahah!
I am thinking we are better off having system failure and picking up the pieces afterwards. I suspect COAL / NUCLEAR / DRILLING will become an option veryveryVERY soon.
In regards comments other poster – children : Bush has been more than responsible on his watch in many ways. The fact is events are a collective manifestation of our collective actions. The american people have been a bit remiss I do believe. We let our unDemocrat representatives in Washington DC prohibit lenders from using prudent lending criteria in efforts to pump money into the ‘hood. We prevent OCS drilling and send 700 billion per year out of the country. These things are collectively our fault and not Bushes.
You need to think Web 2.0 …. what is more effective?
-1- Bush writing all 20 gazillion entries in Wikipedia
-or-
-2- us collectively writing what we know about ?
That’s the model that is and has always been more accurate in its description of how a society works. Using it makes it VERY easy to see why socialist / communist / liberal unDemocrats ruin every society they touch when unimpeded.
I still say Dubya should turn the entire middle east into The World’s Largest Parking Lot as his last official act in office. Then President McPalin can swoop in and take control of the oil.
More for us, and dished out to other countries only according to how nice they are to us.