29 Comments

  1. Mario! You magnificent stereotypical bastard!

    Good stuff. Mario is a lot more racist, abusive towards women, and all around hateful than I remember him being. He must have been hanging around the kos. Or maybe it is his brothers influence? He should lose him for good.

  2. Luigi, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not a brother, you’re not a friend. I don’t want to know you or what you do. I don’t want to see you at the hotels, I don’t want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won’t be there. You understand?

    You broke my heart, Luigi. You broke my heart.

  3. If you convert this IMW to Candyland, you may have it down to a level that Obamuhhh supporters can understand…

    Hmm…better make that peek-a-boo…

    or maybe different kinds of baby rattles?…

    Never mind. The thought of Mario gunning them all down as violently as possible is much better.

  4. That’s bull. That fat, short jerk has been taking all the credit for my work for too long. I can jump higher and I’m taller. Nice stupid red shirt, idiot. Forget it, I’m going to hang out with at Wario Vick’s house for some Yoshi fights.

  5. Another corruption of beloved charecters from when I was a kid. What’s next, are you going to write a story about Mega Man getting half his body repossesed by the government because he didn’t pay Obama’s taxes on imported parts for his arm cannon? Or some delightful story about what happened to Sonic the Hedgehog at a drunken party at Barny Franks house when he cashed in his options from Fanny May?

    I just took a shower and I’m still not clean.

  6. I tried to tell you how awesome you were, but it didn’t work. And Mario with a shotgun is waaaay cooler than Mario with fireballs. Although the hammer brothers suit may still edge out the shotgun.

  7. Re : “Marios of the World Unite”
    Sounds like a good game to teach the virtues of liberty to skulls-full-a-da-mush.

    After the little Nintendo addicts spend 3-4 hours working to earn whatever
    … gold coins, magic cannoli or rainbow lasagna-
    a drab brown suited Nintendo Revenue Agent appears
    and empties Mario’s pockets to give the loot to his lazy brother.

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