Monkeys and Civility

More evidence you can’t be a civilized country and have monkeys running around. Who can respect the leader of a country who get regularly urinated on by monkeys? As much as people like to say political debate is low brow in this country, at least our politicians aren’t used a lavatories for lesser primates. We don’t have this problem in America because once a monkey peed on Benjamin Franklin. Big mistake. That guys is nuts. Right on the spot he invented the shotgun and went to slaughter all the monkeys in North America and you still can’t find one here to this day. And now America is the most powerful country in the world.

24 Comments

  1. I can’t believe I’m disagreeing with FrnakJ but…….

    Would you rather he was friends with monkeys?
    Being peed on by a monkey is sorta like being picketed by Al Sharpton, attacked by Andrew Sullivan or hated by PETA, it’s a badge of honor.

    I wish I had mad p-shop skills, I would do a “Peed on by monkeys” award and you would have to post it.
    Muwahahahahahahahahahaha.

    Step 1. Get photoshop.
    Step 2. Learn photoshop.
    Step 3. Profit!

  2. It is said that humans share about 98% of their DNA with chimpanzees. However, I suspect that in some areas of the world, not to mention many American universities, the difference is practically non-existant!

  3. There is a spank the monkey comment in here somewhere, but decorum and respect for the mighty FrankJ and SarahK prevents me. This ISN’T dumbasscrat underground.

    Angry urinating monkeys? Now what are the libs protesting?

  4. At the close of the Constitutional Convention, a woman asked Benjamin Franklin what type of government the Constitution was bringing into existence. Franklin replied, “A republic, if you can keep [the monkeys out of] it.”

  5. The phrase, “more fun than a barrel of monkeys”, was one of Ben Franklin’s sayings in Poor Richard’s Almanac. This was derived from the Monkey Fun Barrel that Ben invented. Similar in concept to his ‘Roach Motel’ invention, monkeys went in the barrel for fun, but they never checked out. The barrel was rolled into the Schuykill River. The Schuy Monkey has been extinct since about 1730; coincidence? I think not.

  6. I, as a Pennsylvanian, cannot let such an allegation stand against Mr. Franklin, Chuck. With all due respect to Mr. Crockett (Got to respect a man who once wrestled and killed a black bear with a Bowie knife), Benjamin Franklin did exactly what Frank J. stated above. He also invented the internet but thought future generations would find it funnier if he allowed Al Gore to claim that he created it.

  7. Damm Yankee’s! Stonewall Jackson marched right past my house with Daniel Boone where they fought the battle of Front Royal……. and then Daniel Boone went off on his monkey hunt. Twernt no wig wearing Boston Boy dun nothin in the woods.

  8. Daniel Boone fought that pompous gasbag Nathaniel P. Banks at Front Royal? I was unaware of that. I am, however, sure that he was born and raised in Berks County, PA.

    Anyway, thanks, TerribleTroy. Learn something new everyday.

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