The White House want you to report misinformation about the health care bill, and even provides an e-mail address to help you do so. The problem is, no one has actually read the bill to know what is misinformation. To help, I’ve read the bill (fun read!) and here are some things actually in it. If you see any information out there conflicting these items, you’ll know to report that to the fuhrer.
INTERESTING ITEMS IN THE HEALTH CARE BILL
* A surprising number of references to the scene in the Dark Knight where the Joker blows up a hospital.
* Section on helping the elderly make end of life decisions is right next to a recipe for Soylent Green.
* Patients are to be offered and red pill and a blue pill. Any chooses the red bill will be declared an enemy of the state.
* The word “honkeys” appears 47 times.
* Explicit promise that everyone will get the same quality treatment as top racehorses.
* Private insurance will still be available to those who don’t mind being imprisoned without a trial.
* In particularly expensive cases, traditional care will be scrapped in favor of prayers to Loothau, the mighty unicorn of healing.
* Free treatment to anyone suffering from mental defects. Symptoms of mental defects: Not liking Obama. Treatment: Bullet to the brain.
* To ensure a “right” to health care, doctors are now slaves of the State and are considered 3/5ths a person.
* There are plans to harvest organs from perfectly healthy people and blame it on vampires.
* No matter what the symptoms, doctors must first try just treating the patient for allergies.
I’m going with “Fishy” comments. Everyone should sent links to “Fishy” articles. You can even combine healthcare and “Fishy”. Send them a link about a …ready for it…a Sturgeon.
And be sure to send it to the Sturgeon General.
I tried sending them information on the cuddlefish. The cuddlefish is clearly fishy, but is also clearly not a fish. This seems like misinformation to me. I included the link to the wikipedia sight. Sadly, my computer’s firewall won’t let me send it because it finds the sight suspicious, go figure. Anyone else want to send it for me?
BTW, here’s a good link for a Sturgeon. He does Cardio-Basscular work.
http://www.sturgeonfrank.com/
Late Term Abortions have been expanded to include 50 yeAr old white male Christians
Damn, that was funny.
Thanks for my laugh of the day.
Wow, that sounds like me….Naw cain’t be. ” Obama loves me this I know, cuz…..”
I think everyone should send her , her own web page. If there is misinformation about this, it comes from the classless disgrace in the White House.
#3: GROOOOOOOOOOOAN!! (but good one!) 😉
Obamascare’s Medical Group:
Proctology: Dr Ben Dover
Obstetrics: Dr Katchem
Dermatology: Dr Skinner
Urology: Dr Weiner
Pediatrics: Dr Kidd
Dentistry: Dr Payne
Geriatrics: Dr Kevorkian
Medical Malpractice Attorneys: Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe
(Oops, I meant to groan at # 2 & 4…darn you fast typists!)
Page 572 refers to the Borg healthcare plan, where we will be assimilated.We will be the Oborgma.
Aquaman should investigate the white house tattletale site. It seemes fishy.
Being a good citizen, I did my duty and immediately reported this article to flag@whitehouse.gov. They replied to me and said “There’s nothing fishy here, this is all accurate.”
I read in there (pg 346) Ted Kennedy will be the gynecologist for ALL females between 16 and 21
Wow, that was kinda dark for you FrnakJ. Funny, but dark.
I guess you think we’re leaving the funny and heading for the endy.
* Leeching is now a primary care treatment for vapours, nervousness, and tightness of the bowels.
Hey, let’s just Rick Roll the “Rat Line” (although the fish thing is funny). I wonder if someone couldn’t set up a video that starts with an official looking type badmouthing OB’s plan and then jump right to Rick?
Frank, is this section titled “To Serve Man”?
1) Page 1038, Alternative healing methods will be preferred to Surgical means.— That would explain the recent influx of Kenyan Witchdoctors 2) Page 1127 Communing with nature as a therapeutic technique. The ‘Swim With The Stingrays’ Program was highly recommended. 3) Page 1293, Colorblind individuals will be offered a choice between the gay pill and the gray pill. Good luck with the outcome. 4) Page 1264, The selling of babies is prohibited. The selling of fetuses however could greatly reduce your taxes. 5) Page1,029,384,756, All government healthcare outcomes are final. Those dissatisfied with their outcome (if living), will be referred to the Dept. of Mental Defects.
*Most maladies with be cured by sending the patient home with a Yakov Smirnoff DVD, because “laughter is the best medicine”.
* Instead of x-rays, all physicians will be distributed “X-Ray Specs”
A good, regular blood-letting and heavy doses of mineral oil will precede treating the patient for allergies.
You should type flag@whitehouse.gov everywhere you can. Otherwise the SPAM bots won’t be able to add them to the mailing list.
Have you noticed he occasionally slips and refers to patients as ‘flithy earth creatures?’
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The most interesting thing about the “health care” initiative isn’t even satire. It’s the fact that The One put his Obama “O” on the plan. This guy ranks right up there with Kim Jong Il in the megalomania department.
When I’m reading to my kids and I suspect they’re not listening, I start replacing random nouns with “underwear” until they catch on. Then they have to tell me how many times I said “underwear” and if they get it wrong I stop reading.
So here’s my idea: we get a cooperative Congressman to write in all kinds of underwear-related provisions to these laws. Then the Congress passes the bill without reading it. A couple weeks later they discover to their horror that we’re here to enforce the law that says Nancy Pelosi’s underpants have to fly on the Capitol flagpole on alternate Thursdays. And they’ll be like “what law was THAT?” and we’ll say “it was in the Health Care Bill, stupids! Next time READ THE FRICKIN’ BILL! Hahahahahaha!” And we’ll all laugh uproariously as Pelosi’s panties get hoisted up the flagpole.
Wacky Hermit,
That is an awesome idea.
But not just with underwear. We could write in provisions like, “Obama is a stupid poopey head.”
And then laugh like crazy when they pass the bill. I love this!
The red pill gets you a pine box, the blue pill gives you a different kind of wood…
You cant fly Pelosi’s skivvies from a flag pole….. think of humanity man!….. Those things are contaminated Haz Mat…….you’de sicken children and expectant mothers for a 3 mile radius fom the funk odor alone….