Could the future be sabotaging the Large Hadron Collider? The theory goes that discovering the Higgs boson could destroy the universe, so maybe the future is what’s causing all the problems with the collider in an attempt to stop us.
Other theory: Maybe people in the future are just jerks. Maybe they’re all like, “Look at those dummies in the past trying to find a Higgs boson; let’s mess it all up for funsies since we’re like superior since we’re from the future.” Grrr! I hate people from the future! They’re all so stuck up! It’s like if we went into the past to see cavemen how we’d keep making fun of how stupid they are for thinking the sun is a god until they finally got angry enough to beat us to death with clubs (and for good reason). Your location in the temporal dimension doesn’t make you better, jerks.
If we become certain that the future is messing with the Large Hadron Collider, what we should do is put swine flu in a time capsule. Then, when people in the future open the capsule hoping to see memorabilia from our time, all they’ll find in it is swine flu and a note saying, “This is for messing with our collider, goobers!” That’ll teach ’em.
I hate traveling in the past! It makes commenting on an article that I haven’t read yet, very difficult.
People from the future have the power to obstruct things in our present, in order to keep catastrophes from occurring, and yet Lil’ Wayne is allowed to repeatedly put out albums without any detectable difficulties? I’m scepticle.
The past, present and future are like a normal automobile. The rear wheels are the past, the passenger compartment is the present and the front wheels are the future. Old school physics had the rear wheels pushing the car ahead. But the new physics has front-wheel drive! You are being pulled by the future – not pushed by the past. And a manned named Higgs is your car mechanic.
This is really stupid.
I think it’s all the Morlock’s fault.
They hate people from the past.
Listen up jerks from the future – what goes around comes around. Our president is doing everything he can to detroy your future. So there!
Another theory: Maybe the Europeans just really suck at building things. Take the Airbus for example. Turbulence has been blamed a few times over that pesky ‘self ejecting tail section’ feature. If they haven’t gotten the bugs out of something we’ve been building since the Wright brothers, why mess with homemade black holes? Just my 2 cents as an American living overseas.
Mike
These are the same scientists that insist on climate change right? They must hang out with the hobbit kucinache.
BTW, love the oxymoron in the add above: democrats and work.
All this time travel stuff is a bunch of Science!
The future is racist. Clearly.
Why not just find a Bos’n named Higgs, and call it a day.
”Our President is doing all he can to destroy your future. So There.” Maybe that is why people from the future are ‘jerks’. They’re PO’d that they live in a Socialist economy, with Sharia Law the U.N. International Law Of The Planet. The only thing that comforts them is seeing Malia and Sasha in their burqas, married to their Afghan mullahs.
Because there are no “Higgs” Bos’ns?
I heard that they created a few tiny black holes and now are afraid to turn it back on. I’m just sayin…
You mean Boss Hogg? He’s in Hazzard County.
So Science!-tists can’t find a theoretical particle; Euro-Science!-tists build a Large Hadron Collider that doesn’t work; they cover their azzes by coming up with the theory that the future won’t allow it to function. Brilliant!
How about this theory: The Force, made up of Midi-chlorians,doesn’t want the Large Hadron Collider to destroy any mini-chlorians in the sub-atomic particles.
Mini-chlorians grow to be midi-chlorians in time and take their rightful place within The Force.— The future has nothing to do with it. Prove me wrong.
Interestingly, the Higgs boson has been referred to as the ‘God Particle’ by the media because physicists believe it’s the key to explaining why mass has mass.
OR
God only knows if it exists
Given that CERN is ground Zero for Anti-Matter production, maybe it’s the Enterprise messing things up when they beam down for a fuel top-up.
Or it could be that the LHC is a damnably huge and complex machine and I’m sure, as with all the best gifts at Christmas, someone forgot to put in the AA batteries.
No, no, I think the time-travel theory makes a lot more sense.
The hamster died. Try gerbils next time.
– Hebrews 11:3
“… so that what is seen was made out of things which do not appear.”
I don’t know. I don’t think you can blame all our troubles on the Large Hardon Collider. But maybe the 115 pregnant girls in the chicago school system. Just sayin, cause somebody has to.