HIGH PRAISE for the last riddle goes to joeschmo1of3. So, is this exercise making us all feel more confident the next time a sphinx blocks our path?

Anyway, another riddle:

I shield my eyes,
A cry is heard,
Justice comes soon.

Be the first to answer this riddle and you’ll win… hmm… what do I have as a prize… oh yeah…

HIGH PRAISE!

Science is saying that cancer is a modern invention that our ancestors luckily didn’t have to deal with. Sort of like clamshell packaging. Except it wasn’t made by one person; it’s just horrible, deleterious thing that sometimes arises as part of modern life. So more like a liberal.

It’s good to remember there are always trade offs. We all like to think we’re better than those who came before us because all the things we know and the cool stuff we have, but that’s just because people are arrogant (well, not me; I’m too awesome for that). It’s not that simple, though. Yes, people in ancient days had to hunt for food and could easily starve and they didn’t have DVRs and were always missing their favorite shows. But they also didn’t have to worry about cancer. And they didn’t have these useless twits called liberals who thought they were smarter than everyone and tried to boss people around. Back then, it didn’t matter if a useless twit knew how to sound smart; if you were useless and annoying, a saber-tooth tiger would eat you. It was brutal system, but it worked.

So while we have all our modern conveniences, we also have cancer and liberals. Is it worth it? Well, the iPad certainly is.

I like Joe Miller’s new ad:

It seems this should be a very easy decision for Alaskan voters. You have an actual conservatives with accomplishments in his life versus some useless twit who was given the Senate seat by her daddy. Oh, and I guess there is also a Democrat in the running, though I don’t know his/her name.

Anyway, Alaska can’t survive having useless twits as Senator. This isn’t Delaware; it’s up there by itself with Russia on one side and Canada on the other (the Twilight Zone version of the U.S.). Any day now, it may have to mount a defense against crazed Russians and weird Canadians (if they bite you, do you become one?). So do they want a Senator who is a veteran or the entitled, weasel-faced daughter of another entitled, career politician.

The usual way to get rid of a sucky Republican is to elect a Democrat — like Obama — but that’s no good, obviously. It would be nice to be able to use primaries to get rid of sucky Republicans, but they apparently just don’t go away that easily since they’re too useless to find other jobs outside of politics. Maybe we need to add a new law that when an incumbent loses in the Republican primary, he is then fired out of a cannon never to be seen from again (with an implied endorsement of the winner).

Wow. A lot of my solutions to problems seem to involve firing people out of cannons. Well, if it ain’t broke…