Random Thoughts

It’s always an exaggeration to say someone is worse than Hitler unless you’re talking about Cyborg Hitler.

If I hear one more liberal use a violent figure of speech, I will break in his home and murder his pets… rhetorically.

So how old do children have to be before they understand sarcasm?

As someone who closely follows politics, I feel disqualified from commenting on the effectiveness of a campaign ad.

I really hate trees; it’s like they think they own the planet.

It does seem like Arrested Development and Running Wilde are related.

Man is bureaucrat hard to spell; takes me a couple tries to even get the spellcheck to realize what I’m going for. Probably all a scheme by bureaucrats to keep us from complaining about them.

17 Comments

  1. So how old do children have to be before they understand sarcasm?

    I think it doesn’t really matter. I say all kinds of stuff when I’m telling my dog what to do. I amuse only myself. For example, I can pretty well get her to stop barking immediately if I tell her in a calm, bored voice, “Lucy, one more bark and I’ll beat you until next Tuesday (on a Wednesday).” Alternately, I might say, “Lucy, if you don’t stop barking, I’ll have to tell you no.” My favorite is, “Lucy, remember that conversation we had about barking? I don’t remember telling you to bark. I think I would have remembered that.” They all work well. Her drinking out of the terlit is a different story altogether.

    My point is that the point of sarcasm is to amuse yourself.

  2. The timeline for child’s ability to understand sarcasm is directly proportionate to the amount of sarcasm he/she is subjected to. It’s quite an emotional experience when one witnesses a Kindergarten student’s glimmer of comprehension to an off-handed remark that would leave the average liberal with that deer-in-the-headlight look.

  3. “If I hear one more liberal use a violent figure of speech, I will break in his home and murder his pets… rhetorically.”

    Democrats are delusional, and think that if they say they did something that it really happened, no matter how far-fetched…like inventing the Internet or creating jobs. So, even though the last fight most of them were in was lost miserably on a playground and ended with tears, when they say that they kick ass they believe they really are tough. Sad, really. And the only cure is to punch them in their monkey faces.

  4. Wait, you have spellcheck? Don’t you mean Spellchick?

    I would suggest your Spellchick isn’t working very well because she’s busy making your baby.

    So how old do children have to be before they understand sarcasm?

    My nieces and nephews understood it by the time they were 6.
    But then, I’m kind of a sarcastic icehole who thinks that the only reason to have children or pets is to torture* them.
    There are few things funnier than watching a 6 year old run away when I ask, “Do you want to see something funny?”

    *Torture them rhetorically of course. And by that, I mean “conservative” rhetorically, which means, not literally and not leftist rhetorically, which means “what I really want to do to you you teabagging SOB”.

  5. Man is bureaucrat hard to spell; takes me a couple tries to even get the spellcheck to realize what I’m going for. Probably all a scheme by bureaucrats to keep us from complaining about them.

    I have memories of the Chicago Tribune, pursuing former owner Robert McCormick’s crusade to simplify spelling, spelling it “burocrat”. They were still doing it in the 1970s, I think.

  6. When someone says “you are worse than Hitler”… Are they so ignorant as to not understand what Hitler did? He started WWII where 50million people died and he exterminated 6 million jooooooos. Of course to people like Rick Sanchez, there is probably an argument to be had about what’s the big deal with that, but if one studies WWII as I have Hitler was evil incarnate! Stalin was worse but we can’t say that in America because he was a leftist communist and we might offend all college professors with that. Pol Pot wasn’t any better, but again that would get tenured professors pink undies in a bunch!

  7. So how old do children have to be before they understand sarcasm?
    To find the answer fill out form J690-456-98765 in triplicate and submit the middle notarized copy by 6pm to the epa and hud.

    If you rhetorically punch a hippie, does he still bawl like a girl?

    Bathing and bureaucrat both start with b. Guess which one the hippies prefer.

  8. I hate trees too. They fall over and smash stuff, they catch fire and incinerate stuff, they obscure signs while I’m driving, and so forth.
    I guess trees are OK in forests where they don’t bother anyone I care about, though.

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