Apparently, America is no longer the world’s most obnoxious tourists. I don’t get that; we are the greatest nation on earth and understand that every other country should bow to us, so how could we not be the most obnoxious? We earned are obnoxiousness. But the winner of the title instead is Britain. What in the world? I could understand that back when they were an empire imposing their values on everyone, but now they’re just an island tourist nation. Where do they get off being obnoxious?
Anyway, get out there to other countries and demand to be treated like a member of the richest country in the world that can easily obliterate anyone out there.
Oh, you don’t have a passport? Yeah, neither do I. I guess it hurts us that part of our obnoxiousness is we don’t even feel the need to ever leave the country. I mean, I went Seattle on my last vacation; that was exotic enough.
You know, I don’t have a passport either. Every time I went to another continent, I took an M-16. Me and a bunch of others dressed just alike. It was fun!
Although I have both studied and worked in London, I don’t have a passport. I, unlike somebody who lives in, say, Germany, can travel nearly six-hundred
miles without leaving the United States, and that would be to get to Canada, to which, until 2001, I could travel without a passport. Iowa is bigger than all but a handful of European countries.
I’ll be going abroad this summer for my job.
I plan to help us out by wearing American flag t shirts and pointing out small and weak their cars are, and wondering aloud how come nobody has a pick up truck with a gun rack.
Oh, and kicking the unionized gas-pumpers butt for charging me $12 per 3.78 litres of gas. WIth an extra punch for using litres.
I guess the Secret Service has really done a good job of keeping people in other countries away from the Obamas during their many travels.
If we had any quality Eurotrolls, they would be filling the thread with griping and moaning about your spelling.
Thank goodness we Yanks are too down to Earth for that crap.
Srsly, dood, spelchek werks gud.
I once went with a broad that I made a pass at while in port. But I was sweetness and light until I got what I wanted (IYKWIMAITYD) then I never called her again. Was that obnoxious or just being a jerk?
I blame the Brits victory on Gordon Ramsey’s 55 television shows.
FormerHostage,
The problem is that you were not any more obnoxious than men of other nationalities.
You mailed it in, bro.
The brits have a case of small man syndrome, so they make up for it by being obnoxious.
I am glad that a lot of the eurotrash euroweenies have quit coming to America. I have to save my ammo for the really bad commies.
Could this explain the rapist from france? Is france trying to get noticed?
I guess you become obnoxious when you go from a sorta great country to an insignificant pimple on the buttocks of europe instead of a festering boil like greece or france.
The study is flawed. Reasons why Americans should top the list:
– Our military conducts guided tours of entire countries at a time. Tipping is discouraged, as compliance is secured the “old school” way.
– Fereigners are unwilling to understand English no matter how slowly and loudly we speak.
– America is so advanced that the entire rest of the world is quaint. Get used to us loudly pointing out all the quaint things in your wee country.
– Unlike tourists who visit the US, we have absolutely no desire to stay. Please don’t be insulted by your inferiority.
On the other hand, Americans are great tippers, and this is due in part to the fact that fereign money all looks like Monopoly money. Even the Monopoly guy (a.k.a. Rich Uncle Pennybags) wouldn’t put a beaver on paper money.
Speaking of paper money, if we put Chesty Puller’s mug on a denomination, fereigners and liberals alike would likely be afraid to handle it.
I went to Boise for my last vacation. That was exotic enough for me, and I didn’t have to show my passport.
FormerHostage,
I always thought Marines walked up to a dame, said “You and them gams of yours are comin’ with me!”, punched the dame’s kid boyfriend in the kisser, and walked out with the broad.
I would be, in all honesty, slightly disappointed if this is not the case.
Perhaps the rest of the world has finally had enough of the poor dentistry in Britain.
Chimp update:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bili_Ape
Nonsense. I would give the French a slight edge over the Japanese.
We’re trailing in the maid raping category, and I just don’t see how we can beat the Europeans in scandal, pederasty and downright arrogance.
I would have thought it was Germans. I’m pretty sure Germans have screaming nightmares that somehow, somewhere, they might be tricked into tipping someone.
The Germans do have a tip for you Karen…don’t invade Russia!
Here’s a tip when dealing with a person from a non-United States country. When they start telling you about their country and it’s cute little customs, interrupt them mid sentence and let them know that we don’t give a rat’s ass about your stupid little country. We are American’s! Here’s how we do it in America, then you start talking about Hooters and fast cars and strip joints and such. They are like totally insulted. It is excellent! Then you say…what are you going to do about it? Like attack us with your military or something? Then you throw your head back and laugh your ass off!!!
I don’t think it IS obnoxious, Frank – there is a LOT to see in this beautiful country. One could spend many many years just taking in the sights and sounds and smells and tastes of this country and never feel the need to leave. Of course I might if I could get a passport, but eh- if I never do, there’s tons to do here. Lots of beauty. Might as well enjoy it 🙂
When you are in England be sure to make it a point to wear an American T-Shirt with the flag on it, and then go around and tell everyone you meet that “hey, aren’t you guys the one’s we kicked out of our country because you are all teh ghey?” They appreciate our humor and such…
Did anyone else notice that the poll was taken BY the British? They’ve always been a self depricating people, so fear not! I’m sure in the eyes of the rest of the world, Johnny Yank is still winning gold in the Obnoxious Olympics!
U.S.A.!!!
I’m not going to Boise! They advertise like “Horseback Trail Riding Trips” but then they get you into the woods and Boisemonians are waiting for you and there is a giant fire and they bend you over a log and tie you down and pull your pants off. Then the buggering begins… Nope! Not this cowboy! I’m stayin’ right here in Minneapolis, recently voted “The gheyest city in America”…sigh…
When the foreign types tell us the granduer of their quaint little county-sized countrys remind them America is so 21st century, and we can help them catch up. We can remodel them just like we remodeled Tokyo, Hiroshima, and Nagasaki, and look how up tp date Japan is now. USA, we can help.
I wish W had just remodled Irag like we remodeled Japan. It would have been so much easier.
Frank, you should try the Philippines. You can help get us our number one slot back by repeating the phrase, “this place sure has gone to hell since America stopped running it.” That, and Filipinos are about the friendliest people in the world, so you get extra points for acting like a jerk to them.
Somebody was telling me the other day that I really should get a passport. I was like, why? Other countries all suck compared to the U.S., so why would I want to go visit them?
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@USSJC: That reminds me of something I used to do to Europeans. I was living near Boston at the time during the horror of the Big Dig. Well, I’d splain it to Europeans like this:
“It’s about 8 km long and costs $17 billion. That’s about $1 million per 2.4 cm (1 inch).” Then, I’d share a big laugh with them about how wasteful that is. I’d follow the laughter by asking them, “Do you know why we’re doing it?” “Why,” they’d ask. I’d respond, “Because we CAN.” This shut them up completely, and it worked especially well in a country that literally has a GDP substantially less than $17 billion.
I think USSJC should be given an Ambassadorship to the U.N.
I was once attacked by a guy in New Caledonia (that’s in the Pacific) because he thought I was french, but when his buddy explained that I was an American (“American! American!”) he backed off. (they were speaking some weird sort of foreign jabber so I couldn’t join their conversation to express my intent to hit the fellow over the head with my camera if he didn’t back off.)
So I ate escargot at a outdoor cafe that evening to celebrate my ‘less obnoxious than the french’ status.