Random Thoughts

I prefer a secular government, but I’d like it designed and run by Christians. I still won’t trust it.

Aww man. I just realized the true meaning of Christmas but it’s a couple weeks late. Hope I remember it for next year.

How can you live in America and not own a gun? That’s like living in France and not owning stinky cheese.

For you Republican candidates trying to gain traction: Just punch a hippie in the face and make sure there are witnesses.

When my mom heard I was going to be on Monica Crowley’s show, her reaction was, “She knows Bill O’Reilly!”

It’s okay to hate and dehumanize people if you do it over politics and not race.

So Obama claims he never heard his pastor say nutty, racist things, and Ron Paul claims he never heard himself say it.

So how many Republicans are out there waiting on more discussion of gay marriage to decide who to vote for?

Are we really out of Iraq when we have thousands of armed contractors still there?

The Republican candidates all know there isn’t actually a prize for 2nd place, right?

Jon Huntsman: “I watched Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon without subtitles and followed most of it. Elect me president.”

Since it’s now pretty much certain Romney is going to be the nominee, what are we going to talk about until the convention?

Wow. The Simpsons are going to be having their 500th episode soon. I think you could probably count on one hand how many of those episodes I’ve never seen. Of course, for the first ten seasons, I probably average having seen each episode three times.

Turned the Bronco/Steelers game on and as soon as she saw a guy in a football helmet, Buttercup put her arms in the air and yelled, “Touchdown!”

Buttercup loves the Christmas coke cans. She keeps pointing at the polar bears on them and yells, “Rarr!”

Pep talk to Steelers: “Come on; this is to defeat Christianity once and for all.”

Didn’t seem like a Hail Mary would work against Tebow.

Lesson learned: If you homeschool your child and teach him to be a good Christian, he’ll win playoffs in the NFL.

23 Comments

  1. “How can you live in America and not own a gun? That’s like living in France and not owning stinky cheese.”

    Of course, the contrapositive is also true: Americans owning guns is like the French owning stinky cheese.

    The French can have their stinky cheese.

    We don’t need no stinky cheese.

    Man, have you noticed that Chris Christie is getting really big? I’m thinking stinky cheese.

  2. “It’s okay to hate and dehumanize people if you do it over politics and not race.”

    Try:
    It’s okay to hate and dehumanize people if you do it because they are Christian and not over race.

    There, I fixed it for you.

    Cat, Basil, Frank – why aren’t you in the baby pool!?

  3. …Just punch a hippie in the face and make sure there are witnesses.

    Buzz Aldrin for President! Go Buzz! Yay!

    Buzz Punches a Hippy in His Stupid Hippy Nose

    Fair use note: I first saw that video here when über Frank J. posted it some time ago. I just can’t get enough.

    Are we really out of Iraq when we have thousands of armed contractors still there?

    Wa-wa-wa-wait a minute. Over $1B wouldn’t be going to Halliburton on a no-bid contract awarded by Obama, would it? Is there no end to Dick Cheney’s devilry?

  4. Living in America and not owning a gun is like living in Chicago and not voting twice. Or dead.

    My daughter, at three, was well trained. She would see the Planter’s Peanuts man and say President Carter”.

  5. Non-random idea: Hey Frank J. and Basil, how about doing away with the 5-star awesomeness rating? I see two problems with the rating system. First, I often forget to vote. Second, when I do vote, nearly all posts are worth 5 stars, except for the posts that would rate 4.8 stars, and there’s no way to vote 4.8 stars, so I leave unfulfilled.

    I fear that you may be tracking the ratings, when in truth the true awesomeness of a post is the number of replies that Marko and I make about 16″ naval guns and the joy of black smoke belching steam power.

  6. I’ll chip in 2 bucks for debate lessons for the candidates. Anyone else?

    Here’s a couple of hints, 1) Don’t answer silly made-up questions 2) Don’t accept your opponent’s premise when debating an issue.

    My kids could do better. (Santorum: “Well, what if a circus elephant, 3 blind men, a dwarf, and a monkey wanted to get married? What about that, eh?”)

    [heavy sigh]

  7. I can haz stinky cheeze because I has gun!

    “That’s like living in France and not owning stinky cheese.”

    Thats explains why barry and johnny cat kerry like it in france. No one can smell them.

  8. SEC football: Where it ain’t cheating if you ain’t caught.

    NFL football: Where we don’t know how to defend the very basic spread option Tebow runs even though some college defenses defend it well.

  9. Just remember: you’re un-American if you don’t support the Patriots. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS!!!!!!! Woohoooooooo! (mild foaming at the mouth from rabid football fandom)

  10. Why do we roll over and let the press pick our candidates for us? Is it because we believe what we are told? Apparently. I don’t care how stupid they say certain Republican candidates are — they are ALL smarter than Obama (with the possible exception of RON PAUL!!!?!!) — and THEY’RE not trying to destroy this great country of ours!! I hope Santorum gets the nomination. I like his promise of “Hope and Change”, his “Yes We Can” attitude and his “Win The Future” outlook on things. “Hey Ricky!!”

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