Almost 90 years later, the Russians are finally considering burying the embalmed body of Commie Hitler, aka Vladimir Lenin, which has lain in a glass coffin in a mausoleum on Moscow’s Red Square since his death in 1924.
Well, that’s certainly ONE option, but let’s not be hasty. Perhaps if we made a list, we could conjure up a better possibility. He’ll probably never be more useful than a dead cat, but let’s stay optimistic:
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1) Run him against Zombie Reagan in 2016 – it’d be just like 1980 all over again!
2) Are they re-making the Wizard of Oz? Because I think we’ve got our new Wicked Witch of the East.
3) Puppet Show! (he could open for Spinal Tap)
4) A little glitter and he could guest star in the next Twilight movie.
5) There’s probably room in Barack’s office, since that pesky bust of Churchill isn’t cluttering things up anymore.
6) White House garden compost. Michelle’s sweet potatoes have never been more dictatorriffic.
7) IMAO co-blogger.
8) If they could figure out how to make him less likely to check IDs, he could be a Democrat poll-watcher.
9) Red shirt #3 in the new Star Trek movie so McCoy can have an extra line.
10) Go traditional – chuck him in the sea.
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Ya know, the UN wouldn’t need a global billionaire’s tax if they’d just install a pay toilet over wherever Lenin gets buried.
Bury him face down with his butt above ground so people have a place to park their bikes.
shave his head, wax his legs and use him for a surfboard.
Move him to the Lenin closet.
11) Take a page from Jurassic Park. If we could also get some DNA from Hitler, or Pol Pot, maybe throw in some Ted Kaczynski, Khomeini, Idi Amin, and Castro, we’re talking about one bad-ass theme park.
re Take a page from Jurassic Park — As you recall, the dinosaurs were able to reproduce because they changed genders. DO NOT WANT to be around to see that when it happens in Despotic Park.
“the dinosaurs were able to reproduce because they changed genders.”
Wouldn’t the products of the resultant change resemble Janet Reno, Hillary, Janet Napolitano and Bella Abzug?shudder
10) Go traditional – chuck him in the Red Sea.
Grind him into kitty litter.
Make him sing Beattles songs in a wax museum.
(Oh, god, no.)
Is it ‘Beattles’ or ‘Beettles?’
Oh, crap, it’s ‘Beatles.’ Well, they’re crap, so it fits.
Make him into green crackers.
Find a really big ant hill in Central America and put him on top of that. In a couple of days there’s nothing left, and it is kind of fun to watch, too, if you’re really bored.
Stupid commies.
Sic him on Yoko Ono
Animatronic greeter at Walmart.
Yay, capitalism!
I’m pretty sure you meant “White House garden compost. Michelle’s sweet potatoes have never been more dicTATERiffic.
me – yeah, I debated spelling options in my head before I hit “post”. Your version’s actually a little better.
Sell him to the guy who does The People’s Cube.
Run him against Zombie Reagan in 2016 – it’d be just like 1976 all over again!
I’d rather it be 1980 all over again. We elected Jimmy Carter in 1976 (well, not me; I voted for Gerald Ford).
IJ – Crap – what was I thinking?
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fixed.