[via Technabob]
The Ben & Jerry’s Pint Lock
Yes, it’s a combination lock to restrict access to pint containers of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream.
No word yet on how much the tax will be for not owning one, but you can expect the government to set the combination and keep it safely tucked away in their “secure database” as a convenience to you, the taxpayer.
(Combination available upon completion of the 33-page request form and approval by Michelle Obama.)
So will there be a version to fit the tops of Happy Meals?
Or a version that fits the tops of 16 ounce beverages? Or maybe it fits the tops of 2 liter containers and then will only allow 16 ounces or less to be dispensed?
But, but…’it’s for the children™’ man! Don’t ya wanna save the Earth, ‘n stuff?
I pine for the days of my youth. Growing up in the 60’s, red meat was encouraged and was alternated with fried foods; sugar and dye enriched Kool-Aid was a staple; processed foods were a healthy diet addition; homemade cookies were usually in the cookie jar; failing that Little Debbie was about in various forms; and there was usually ice cream in the freezer.
Anyway, my point is — if there is to be a point — there was one rule for food in our house: the quick and the dead.
If it went in your mouth, it was yours. No stupid lock. If I ate it, it was mine.
Note to Michelle: We were all very healthy growing up if a bit on the thin side.
It was all wine and roses then. Until that commercial with the crying Italian Indian in the canoe, we could toss stuff out the car window with joy. Adults puffed away with abandon. In fact, I was watching a 60’s movie the other night, and you know what? They actually made people smoke during the 60’s. At least that’s what Crow T. Robot said.
Hmmm, a combo lock on a cardboard container, how would we ever get into it. clever liberals!
Paul – Obviously America needs a knife ban to prevent circumvention.