Well then just call 911 a few hours before you need the ambulance! People today are so entitled. “Waah, I’m having a heart attack, I need an ambulance!” Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to go into cardiac arrest. See, this is why people can’t be trusted with 32oz sodas.
Yes, if you call 911 it will take that long but if you have prepaid [through your generous donation to the DNC] your private concierge ambulance service they do get there much faster. Another benefit of Obamacare.
“911 what’s your emergency?”
“My mother is having a heart attack.”
“Adding your request to the dispatch queue. The ambulance should be there in four to six hours.”
“Ok, I will just enjoy this Big Gulp soda while I wait.”
“We are sending someone to your location immediately.”
In a more just and perfect world the headlines would read “Micheal Bloomberg hospitalized to remove a 64 ounce “Big Gulp” from his colon that was forcefully installed by a citizen in response to his claims of that being too much soda for one person”
Like they say: When seconds count, help is only
minuteshours away.Well then just call 911 a few hours before you need the ambulance! People today are so entitled. “Waah, I’m having a heart attack, I need an ambulance!” Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to go into cardiac arrest. See, this is why people can’t be trusted with 32oz sodas.
Yes, if you call 911 it will take that long but if you have prepaid [through your generous donation to the DNC] your private concierge ambulance service they do get there much faster. Another benefit of Obamacare.
“911 what’s your emergency?”
“My mother is having a heart attack.”
“Adding your request to the dispatch queue. The ambulance should be there in four to six hours.”
“Ok, I will just enjoy this Big Gulp soda while I wait.”
“We are sending someone to your location immediately.”
In a more just and perfect world the headlines would read “Micheal Bloomberg hospitalized to remove a 64 ounce “Big Gulp” from his colon that was forcefully installed by a citizen in response to his claims of that being too much soda for one person”
Harvey, my Brilliant Overlord, you are so WITTY! 🙂
@6 – You are too kind, Empress Kitten 😀