Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
… the radiator only takes holy water.
…extra headspace to accomodate the miter.
The windshield washers spray holy water.
…it takes three people to steer the new triune Godmobile
Leather Apostlery.
… the instruction manual is written only in Latin.
…There’s a Led Zeppelin tape stuck in the deck, and he thinks that’s awesome!
Papal bull horn.
It’s immaculate!
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
Cookie holders.
(Hmmm… There’s a good line about the Italian made tires, but not without making a couple of Italian ethnic slurs)
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
it’s engine is infallible.
The eu-char-is-stick-shift.
@10 You mean like
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
Radio only play Doo-Wop music.
… is its Impalability.
If you swear at someone who cuts you off in traffic, a nun in the backseat whacks you with a yardstick.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
if you stick to sacramental wine you can’t blow over a .03
the license plates — BDR-529 –After all, he is on a mission from god.
…is that it has a bumper sticker that says “If you can read this, you’re following too close.”
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
The hood ornament in a Crucifix.
… its handling is very forgiving.
The Holy See through front windshield.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
Only have to say 3 “Our Fathers” to get out of speeding tickets.
… it’s no longer your Father’s Oldsmobile.
… built-in OnStar of Bethlehem.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
God really is the copilot.
…it’s great forcross country trips.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
it can drive on water.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
used car salesman can claim it was only driven to church on Sundays.
The Horn plays “SHOUT” by Opus Dei and the Knights.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
includes a turn the other cheek indicator.
…it’s garage is an independent nation-state.
… it comes with anti-Locke brakes.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
turns water into gas.
The Charismatic transmission.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
the radio has an ex-communication feature.
… its high creche test ratings.
…it goes 90 and it ain’t hardly scary.
…it has a plastic Jesus up on the dashboard.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
a large Altar-nator.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
the warranty is for eternity.
The gas guage goes from ‘Saved’ to ‘D@mn3d’
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
bible in the glove compartment.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
engine temperature gauge goes Heaven to Hell.
…Father Guido Sarducci approved of it by saying, “It’s a about a da time a da Pope a da drive a da car.”
… Pius-ply tires.
… it goes from Paul the First to Paul the Second in no time.
… its O Domine meter.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
your pre-forgiven the sinfully rich Corinthian leather seats.
…a Trunk Monkey’s got nuthin’ on a Trunk Nun.
@10 and 13
you mean the italian snow tires? dago through mud, dago through snow, but when dago flat dago wop, wop, wop.
The Swiss Guard Alpha to Omega protection plan
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
3 main wheels nicknamed the Father , the Son and the Holy Ghost.
After is stalls and dies, it’s three days before you can get it started again.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
Anti-theft system features bolts of lightening and eternal damnation.
@46 – Bingo.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
…a St. Christopher medal.
…the Ferrari prancing horse badge.
… it’s a venerable Bede magnet! A total cloister bomb.
The suspension overload detection system, that let’s you know when its payload is overweight by displaying “Lighten up, Francis” on the dash.
…it can defeat the Lamborghini Diablo.
… unibody construction (though there is theological debate over that)
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
the Pope decided to trade it in on a more reliable German Model.
…it’s a fully functional, traveling chapel, confessional, sacrament dispensary and geriatric nursing service.
…it’s a real holy roller
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
it’s grail like headlights.
It turns both left and right, but alway makes the last rites.
… it allows him to Renault his vows.
… it allows him without sin to cast the Firestone.
…people love its Corinthians 13 Leather seats.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
excise tax exempt.
…is that it transforms into the Autobot “Holy Roller.”
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
…the passenger seat back that drops “all the way” back for Saturday Night Fever.
…a nun on a spring dashboard ornament.
…the fuzzy car dice hanging from the rear view mirror.
…the wolf whistle horn.
…the ‘Show me the CarFax’ report with whiteout revisions.
… it’s just a little Deus coup.
…is that it is a french renault, not italian, thereby making it the first antipope mobile.
…it gets St. Christopher on the CB.
… it’s a Revised Standard, not an automatic.
…it can only signal lecterns
…the entire vehicle was heavily altared
…it handles heavenly
…is that the Pope can now govern is flock by Fiat.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
induced the Pope to get back into the habit of driving.
If you forget a bible passage it will go into re-verse for you.
Its good for long trips, up to 40 days and 40 nights.
…the Illuminati headlamps to light The True Path.
The Crucihifi Stereo system
fool cleanser for those in fear of early combustion.
(should have been premature combustion)
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
The new St. Anthony keyless entry system.
It only has one gear… so there won’t be any dogmatic shifting.
extra seating for the Rabbi and Atheist to each bring a guest on the way to the bar.
…it indulges his every whim.
Papal Onstar button good for 3 traffic miracles a year.
Like a good neighbor *poof* an omnipotent supernatural being is there!
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
It blows the doors off those pushy Protestant Volkswagens.
heated kneelers
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
If you kill the engine, it starts back up, but only three days later.
A defenestration seat for sales people from the Car Lot of Babylon.
Keyless entry system activated by the ring of the fisherman.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
Never has to wait for traffic lights.
Selling it would only feed 5,00,000 people for a day while teaching someone to drive it feeds one person for a lifetime.
It’s bumper sticker…
“Let My People Go Faster” – Moses
it has a REAL Madonna on the dashboard.
The “Liberum Belaria” sign crudely spray painted on the side.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
it only has a righteous turn signal.
New High Tech GPS guarantees you won’t be lost, wandering aimlessly, for any more than 40 years.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
the Spanish Inquisition, nobody expected that.
…is its usefulness bringing in new converts. People are always crying out to God when they see the Popemobile barreling at them at 125mph.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
the GPS system keeps you on the straight and narrow.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
every road it travels leads to Rome.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
a nifty money change[r] holder.
…like comments at IMAO, it goes over 100 proving it’s a hot topic – hotter than Obama!
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
…is hidden in the glove box. It’s the location to all the Popes in Father Guido Sarducci’s “Find The Popes in the Pizza Contest”
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
The Trunk Monkey crosses himself before whacking the intruder!
…the inexhaustible supply of wafers in the trunk and they’re all chocolate chip.
(combination of all mine above, Though I was really tempted to incorporate some of Oppo’s excellent punchlines)
Your new car will handle Heavenly. it only takes three people to steer the new triune Godmobile. and there is plently of extra headspace to accomodate miters of all sizes. The windshield washers spray holy water to cleanse The Holy See through front windshield. You’ll love the Comfortable 1 Corinthians 13 Leather seats, while listening to your favorite sounds of praise with your CruciHiFi Stereo system.
You can count on the Charismatic transmission with eu-char-is-stick-shift, with only one gear so there won’t be any dogmatic shifts. Included fool cleanser for those in fear of premature combustion.
The New High Tech GPS guarantees you won’t be lost, wandering aimlessly, for any more than 40 years. It’s great for cross country trips, especially long ones of up to 40 days and 40 nights.
Customized dash includes, The suspension overload detection system, that let’s you know when its payload is overweight by displaying “Lighten up, Francis.” A gas guage goes from ‘Saved’ to ‘D@mn3d.’ A Horn that plays “SHOUT” by Opus Dei and the Knights.
For special safety there is an optional Trunk Nun – “Trunk Monkey’s got nuthin’ on a Trunk Nun.”
However, with the driver courtesy package, if you swear at someone who cuts you off in traffic, a nun in the backseat will whack you with a yardstick.
We’ll even throw in the license plates – BDR-529 – After all, you are on a mission from god.
Signals for both lecterns and right turns, but always makes last rites.
You’ll also want to purchase our special Swiss Guard Alpha to Omega protection plan. Even if it stalls and dies you’ll be able to get it restarted in three days. It’s a real holy roller, with a Moses “Let My People Go Faster” bumpersticker.
Brought to you by the happy people at the Car Lot of Babylon. Don’t resist temptation, drive it today.
Our Father who art in car,
Driving be thy game,
Thy highway come,
Thy fill-up be done,
At gas station that isn’t far.
Give us this day our daily fill-up,
And forgive us our traffic tickets,
As we forgive those who cut us off,
And lead us not into traffic jambs,
But deliver us from road rage,
For thine is a Freeway car pool lane,
With 2-liter engine and high torque.
Amen.
…convenient chalice holders.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
The Pope’s got the pink slip bay-bee.
Optional Brimstone tires
…an eight track tape of ‘Promised Land’ by Elvis Presley
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
No sun roof, but it has a miniature copy of the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
…it drives on water.
…the GPS shows the fastest route to the woods in case he has to poop.
@108 – you took a back seat to no one (or should that be nun?) on this one!
Personal favorite: Opus Dei and the Knights.
… a never-err bag.
…is that you can get a free fillup at any of the 14 Stations of the Cross.
…is that it seats 13.
…is the cruise control for when the Rapture hits.
…is the smoke generator for when he has to make a getaway.
…is the computer that speaks with the voice of William Daniels.
… is its manifold blessings.
… is that it only needs to be anointed with oil once.
… is that it is no longer convertible.
…if you drive it hammered, you will get nailed… to a cross.
…the high-pitched noise the engine makes when revved is the sacramental whine.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
it had a gun, but no canollis.
…is that the Pope tells his passengers, “Click-it -or- ticket – to a Vatican bingo game!”
…headliner by renowned interior customizer, Miguel Angelo.
…it will appear on an EWTN special “Pope My Ride”.
…is that, obviously, it’s driven by Francis’ Altar ego.
…it’s tires are by Fire and Brimstone.
…is that it’s powered by The Father, The Son, and Holy Socks it has twin turbo-chargers!
… is that it’s powered by sinners and an eternal combustion engine.
… is that it’s powered by the V-8ican.
… is its parable-ic headlamps, and conclave mirrors.
… is its prodigal sunroof.
… is that its VIN is aqua.
(#116, agree on Opus Dei.)
…will make some hack comic a household name when he tells the first A Pope drives into a bar joke.
…things work a bit backwards, big puff of white smoke from the tailpipe makes it run as long as he want it to, gives him the title, picks him for the driver.
…has power windows. And balconies.
…the air-freshener thurible contains frankincense, myrrh and pine tree.
…is that he invited Vladamir to go Putin around in it with him.
Bumper sticker that says “Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing its idiot.”
…has a bumper sticker, “My other car is a Celestial Chariot”.
…has in his window, “Pope on Board”.
…has a bumper sticker, “Have you hugged your Cardinal today?”
…has a sticker on his window, “Vatican U”.
…has a bumper sticker, “How’s my Divining?”
…has a Jesus Bobble head doll on the back window ledge.
…has a bumper sticker, “Impeach Obama”.
An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…
…a large red cornicello hanging from the rear view mirror.
…a bumper sticker: SAINT FRANCIS WAS NOT A SSISI!
…a bumper sticker: Jesus Saves at Banca di Roma!
…a bumper sticker: Honk If You Do Not Practice Contraception!
…a bumper sticker: My Favorite Nun Is Sally Field!
…a bumper sticker: Obama’s Foreign Policy Is Like An Olive Garden Never Ending Pasta Bowl!
…a bumper sticker: Mussolini and Obama Would Have Been Paisanos!
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