Archive of entries posted on 25th September 2013

Wisdom of the Day: Satisfries Whip Sans Miley Charisma Up

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Obama Warned Us – Big Plans

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There are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

BARACK OBAMA, Inaugural Address, Jan. 20. 2009

“Well, they can forget about the free men and women part, because now they’ve got free health care instead.”

Analogies for Obamacare

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So Ted Cruz is filibustering — or doing something like a filibuster — to stop Obamacare. And part of what he’s been saying in his many hours is trying to explain what a disaster Obamacare will be. People already know it’s bad, but it’s not even in full effect yet. But any day now, Obama will be like, “Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL health care law!” It’s hard to comprehend how bad that will be, so I’m trying to come up with some analogies to explain.

ANALOGIES FOR OBAMACARE.

* It’s the Hindenburg crashing into the Titanic.

* It’s a tall burning building toppling onto the fire station.

* It’s a nuclear bomb that only wipes out hospitals and your savings.

* It’s a train crashing head on into another train and they’re on a bridge and all the train cars rain down onto an orphanage below.

* It’s Miley Cyrus.

* It’ll be like you’re trapped in a burning building, but instead of “Break Glass in Case of Fire” to get to the extinguisher it’s “Open Clamshell Packaging in Case of Fire.”

* It’s the new Star Wars sequels directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Tyler Perry.

* It’s Gilbert Gottfried loudly narrating your life wherever you go.

* It’s New Coke, except it’s mandatory to drink and trying to obtain Classic Coke will get you arrested.

* It’s there’s a huge war looming, but the only recruits the military can get resemble the members of One Direction.

* It’s going on a blind date and finding it’s Debbie Wasserman Schultz who then roofies you and you wake up legally married to her.

I do not like it here or there. I do not like Obamacare.

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GreenEggsAndHamTed Cruz was doing the whole filibuster thing about Obamacare or something. A lot of pundits were saying it was doomed to failure, but they’re pundits. Pundits don’t know jack. Unless Frank J. is a pundit. Then forget what I just said.

I think the filibuster is great. First, there’s the whole reading Dr. Seuss thing. And Dr. Seuss has written more smarter, insightfuller things than most Senators have ever written. So, it ups the level of the Senate.

It also lets you see who else is willing to go along and try to … well, do whatever he’s doing; stop Obamacare, I think.

But, I wondered what else should Senator Cruz, or anyone trying to filibuster this, read aloud on the Senate floor. I thought actually reading the Obamacare law would be a good idea. But, I don’t know if one man could do all that.

What do you think would something good to read to help stop Obamacare (or whatever it is Cruz is doing)?

Random Thought: Warlords, Filibusters, and Dancing

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Thyme flies when you’re overnighting spices.

Some scientists think humans can basically be viewed as biological spam bots constantly promoting itself.

“But when communicating through keyboards, we won’t have visual cues to detect crazy people.”
“That’s why I added the Caps Lock button.”

Has Obama released a statement yet on @Horse_ebooks or is that useless jerk out golfing once again?

Maybe we should end the presidency and be ruled by local warlords. Why did we ever get rid of the warlord system in the first place?

Who is going to be more attune to your problems: Some president faraway in D.C. or a local warlord?

Stop putting pictures of Miley Cyrus in the news. She creeps me out. Thank you.

Only way defunding Obamacare will work is if Cruz can convince Harry Reid to drop voting requirements in favor of a martial arts tournament.

Come on, Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, all the hopes and dreams of this country now rest on you.

If you’re going to do a really long filibuster and want some attention, design some big song and dance number for it.

And if they’re like, “Senate rules say no dancing!” you can get all Footloose on them.

Not to have big expectations, but I expect history to read, “U.S. was in a slump for over a twelve years, but then Joss Whedon’s new show premiered…”

For the record, I’m one of those now paying less for health insurance due to Obamacare… because I had to get lesser insurance.

The insurance plan I like, the company decided they couldn’t offer it anymore because of the impending “cadillac” tax.

New York City had a good run.

I don’t believe in science. Never seen it. Just guys in white coats who claim they’ve seen it but it’s locked in some lab I’m not allowed in.