(Submitted by Les of Nuking Politics via @JonJayGroden [High Praise!])
Archive of entries posted on 11th September 2013
Handguns Are NOT Just for Killing People
(Submitted by Mrs. C [High Praise!])
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #42,755)
By the way, that’s Tim Kennedy, whose hobbies include beating people up in fair fights for money and killing terrorists.
Not Paranoid!
Egyptian authorities have detained a migratory bird that a citizen suspected of being a spy.
Probably just a clever ruse to distract from the real spies: Moose and Squirrel.
Yes, I Have a Problem With John McCain
Link of the Day: Satire – Obama Clarifies That Red Line Thingy
[High Praise! to The Morlock Revolt]
My Interview with Barack Obama! also Kerry, Red Line, and a burro….maybe.
BONUS LINK:
Nuking Politics [High Praise!] has a video dedicated to Frank J:
Help Frank J. Kickstart World War III !
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Gold Dawkins Gogh Safari Graphics
As best I can tell, the gold iPhone isn't really for us—I think it's for Japanese businessmen and Russian mafia wives.
— William Beutler (@WilliamBeutler) September 10, 2013
I've hated Richard Dawkins ever since my thoroughly confused, temporarily lesbian ex-stepmother gave me one of his books.
— Your Mom's Red Line (@stephenkruiser) September 10, 2013
*enters Van Gogh Barber Shop* a little off the side *Van Gogh cuts off own ear* perfect! oh let's marry, Vince *Van Gogh wakes from dream*
— Dave Dittell (@davedittell) September 10, 2013
When you're on a safari and you assume, you make an ass out of Ume, your safari guide.
— Fun_Beard (@Fun_Beard) September 11, 2013
I love how NYTimes reporters tweet out the glories of their paper's graphics like a parent Facebooking cute pictures of their kids
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) September 11, 2013
Some Things Are REALLY Hard to Find
Google Inc. says it’s struggling to find ways to keep its employees from getting fat.
Guess they have a hard time finding legitimate results when Googling “weight loss plan”, too.
Obama Warned Us – Energy
As President, I’ll invest in renewable energies like wind power, solar power, and the next generation of homegrown biofuels. That’s how America is going to free itself from our dependence on foreign oil – not through short-term gimmicks, but through a real, long-term commitment to transform our energy sector.
BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jul. 31, 2008
“So basically a long-term commitment to short-term gimmicks.”
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Members of Obama’s “Coalition of the Willing” on Syria Will Include…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Will Put the Attack on Syria on Hold if They Give Up Their Chemical Weapons. Also on Hold…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama will put the attack on Syria on hold if they give up their chemical weapons. Also on hold…
iPhone 5s
Random Thoughts: Obama’s Speech, the iPhone, and Killing Hitler
Is Obama going to be able to figure out what’s happening in time for his speech to explain it to us?
John Kerry is doing about as well as you’d expect if you made Forrest Gump Secretary of State.
So in Casino Royale the novel, Bond plays baccarat instead of Texas hold ’em — which seems to involve even less strategy than blackjack.
Basically, Bond is relying on pure luck to be able to bankrupt Le Chiffre, which seems like a bad plan.
Microwave Safe: A secure place to keep your valuables that can also microwave them, because maybe your valuables are Hot Pockets.
What I didn’t like about the short-lived talking car fad was how snooty they were. “The door is ajar.” Who talks like that? Only the LeBaron.
Some technologies seem to serve no other purpose than to really scare unfrozen cavemen.
A plastic iPhone? But one of the great things about the iPhone is how poor people are unable to afford one.
Don’t trust Assad or Putin, but putting them together and trusting them sounds like a plan.
I’m now a Starbucks Gold Member! And my parents said I’d never achieve anything!
How about instead of going back in time and killing Hitler you go back in time and give him a hug when he needed it most? #ThinkPeace
Told guy at Lowe’s I wanted a herbicide so powerful it would kill plastic plants – not because I needed anything that powerful; just because I wanted people to know I’m clever.
I just assumed Obama was going to give that James Stockdale “Who am I? Why am I here?” speech.
Oh, that wacky President Obama; what international issue will he blunder into and out of next?
9/11
The One Thing I Didn’t Know About 9/11 – Steve Buscemi
The day after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, Steve Buscemi, who worked as a firefighter from 1980-1984, showed up at his old fire station, Engine Company No. 55 in the Little Italy section of New York.
For the next week he worked 12-hour shifts, digging through the rubble trying to find the bodies of missing firefighters, all the while refusing to do interviews or have his picture taken.
“It was a privilege to be able to do it,” the 45-year-old actor said. “It was great to connect with the firehouse I used to work with and with some of the guys I worked alongside. And it was enormously helpful for me because while I was working, I didn’t really think about it as much, feel it as much.
“It wasn’t until I stopped that I really felt the full impact of what had happened. It would have been much harder for me to get through it if I hadn’t been able to do that.”
More here.