I have a new column over at PJ Media on how man and the environment will always enemies.

And humanity has only survived because it can overcome nature. For instance, thousands of years ago, there were lions everywhere on all continents. Everywhere. If you went to the grocery store to buy some Froot Loops, a lion would be right there in the aisle, ready to tear you apart. But we defeated them — it ends up that a lion has no defense against a suplex — and now lions are mostly wiped out, and humans are everywhere.

Scene: Barack Obama and Joe Biden, dressed as bums, are looking for Bill Clinton, whom they have misplaced at an OWS gathering.

Biden: There he is.  Over there.  Squatting on the hood of that cop car.  What is he doing squatting on the hood?

Barack: Tell me that isn’t what it looks like. (yelling at Bill) Get off of there.  Quick. Before somebody sees you.

Bill: Just a minute.  I’m almost done.

Barack: Oh, dude.  Are you doing what I think you are doing?  You are. You are totally doing what I think you are doing.  Why?  Just tell me why.  Give me one good reason why you are pooping on that cop car.

Bill: When in Rome. And besides, poop is funny.

Biden: Yeah.  It’s funny.  It’s really funny.  I need to get in on this.  Move aside, I’m coming in.  I’m coming in.

Bill: No, no, no.  You stay down there.  I need someone to blame this on.

Biden: Oh no you don’t.  I want in on this too.

Bill: Get down, get down, get down.  Find your own bloody cop car.  Didn’t anyone ever teach you any manners.

Barack: Get down from there. Both of you.  What if somebody sees you.  I’m not gonna pardon you this time.  Not gonna do it.

Biden: Come on up, dude.  Join us.  When are you gonna get a chance like this again? Come on.  Come on. Come on.

Bill: Get down.  This is my space. Get off. Get off.

Barack: Ok, no.  I can’t do that. What if someone recognizes me?

Bill: You are the President of the United States.  Dude, you can just pardon yourself.  If you knew half of the stuff I got away with.

Biden: Besides, no one will recognize you.  You know.  You people all look the same. No one can tell you all apart.

Barack: Oh, dude.  I can’t believe you just said that. I can’t believe you said that.  That was so racist.

Biden: That’s not racist. That’s not racist.

Barack: That is so racist.  That is pure, total racism, right there.

Biden: It’s not racism.  It’s science, dude.  It’s science.

Barack: That is not science.  How is that science?

Biden: It’s all about optic nerves and neurons and Darwin and evolution and stuff.  It’s science, dude.  It’s all science.

Barack: So you are trying to tell me that racism is genetic?

Biden: No, no, dude. You are not listening to me. You are not understanding.  Can you tell monkeys apart?  Can you? Or chimpanzees?  Or Senators?  No, you can’t.  You can’t.  It’s impossible, dude.  No one can. It’s impossible.  Because the human brain is efficient, dude. It’s efficient.  Doesn’t waste time on stuff that doesn’t matter. Your brain doesn’t need to tell inferior beings apart, dude. Waste of processing power, dude.  That’s why you can’t tell monkeys apart, dude.

Barack: Are you calling me a monkey? That’s even more racist!  You are such a racist!

Biden: Calling you a monkey? I wouldn’t even call you a Senator.  No, calling you… no. Why would I do that?  I know you are not a monkey.  I’m not an idiot.  I can tell you apart from a monkey.  But, dude, I couldn’t tell you apart from my drug dealer.

Barack: Dude.  Is that what happened yesterday? Is that what happened?

Biden: Totally.  I was all like, ‘Andre, what are you doing in a suit, dude?  And how did you get past security?’

Barack: That actually makes a lot of sense now.  I just thought you were high again.

Biden: Totally sober, dude.  Stone cold. And you know why? Cause Andre couldn’t get past security, dude. You got to get him clearance, man.  You gotta get him clearance.

Barack: I would have, but not now.  Not now that I see how much of a bloody racist you are. You are such a racist! You’re unbelievably racist!

Biden: I’m not a racist. You think everyone is a racist.  Are scientists racist?  Huh, dude?  Are you calling science racist, now?  Dude, weren’t you even listening to the science?

Barack: That is so not science.  That wasn’t even science’s red-headed bastard step child. You are such a racist?

Biden: Don’t judge me, man.  Don’t judge me. I was born this way, dude. You can’t judge me.  I was born this way. It’s science.

Barack: Well, you know what I can’t tell apart?  Huh?  You know what I can’t tell apart, dude?  I can’t tell you apart from that pile of poop Bill just left on the cop car. You are indistinguishable from that pile of poop.  You’re a pile of poop, dude.

Biden: That’s just cause I spend a lot of time in the sewer.  There’s some great stuff down there.  You won’t believe what some people flush away.

Bill: It’s true, but, I’m done now.  Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.

Barack: Come to think of it, can I impeach you?  Can I impeach you for being such a bloody, dumb racist?

Biden: No way, dude.  You can’t do that.  He can’t do that, can he?  You were impeached, Bill.  You would know.  He can’t do that, can he?

Bill: How should I know? I’ve never read the Constitution.  Who has time for that?  Who do I look like?  That loser John Kerry?

Biden: You better hope you don’t look like John Kerry.  He’ll try to bang you.  Ha ha ha ha. He was banging the secretary.

Barack: Shut up, dude.  I thought he was a woman.  Besides, it was just a happy ending.  A happy ending isn’t banging.  It isn’t banging.  Tell him, Bill.  You know.  A happy ending isn’t banging.

Bill: It all depends upon what the definition of ‘is’ is.  But I’m pretty sure you banged him.  You banged him.

Biden: He’s banging a tranny.  He’s totally banging a tranny.

Barack: Just shut up.  I’m getting hungry. Come on and let’s find us a dog.

Biden: For some reason I really feel like pooping right now.

To be continued, maybe, sometime, if I feel like it.

So this push to somehow defund Obamacare is still going on. They got like a bill to defund it… and the Republicans are going to filibuster their own bill for some reason. Yeah, it’s getting kind of weird. Well, a lot of people are saying we have to make the stand now or we’ll never stop Obamacare, and others are saying it’s a stupid scheme that will never work and could cost Republicans politically if the government gets shutdown and people get angry.

So, I think we need to weigh the pros and cons of this scheme. I was going to put pros on one side and cons on the other and then realized the html is kinda complicated for that — I’ll have to do a table or something and I just don’t feel like doing that. So, I’ll do a list of pros followed by a list of cons that we can weigh against each other.

DEFUNDING OBAMACARE SCHEME PROS
* Obama doesn’t like it.
* It’s standing up for the Constitution and for the American people against an oppressive administration.
* It’s takes a stand Republicans should take against the horrible bill, Obamacare.
* If we don’t stop Obamacare now, it will become the law of the land and be nearly impossible to repeal as most entitlements are.
* This could lead to a government shutdown, which is good because the government is stupid and we don’t need it.
* And everyone will probably blame the shutdown on Obama and be like, “Obama, why did you let the government shutdown over your stupid bill which we hate?”
* When successful, the defunding could basically destroy the Obama presidency, perhaps crushing Obama so much he’ll just mope around the White House in a bathrobe all day until the end of his dumb presidency.
* Biden won’t even be able to cheer him up with his juggling, clown antics, and falling down stairs.
* It will also crush the hopes and dreams of Obama’s dumb followers, leading to the collapse of the Democrat party.
* Starting with this success to roll back government would lead to future successes and eventually a small government with a balanced budget.
* We’d have such a prosperous future that will soon get our libertarian colony on the moon in which Obama and his administration will be forced to work there on a chain gang.
* American would finally be free of expensive, poorly thought out entitlements. Everyone we disagree with politically will most like starve to death without them.
* Future generations will look upon those who took this stand as heroes and make statues of us and sing songs of us — and hopefully not in whatever horrible pop-style is popular then.
* I’ll have a building named after me. A building on Mars. One that shoots a giant laser at our enemies. The Frank.
* And finally, the scheme to defund Obamacare inspired me to write a list and I like writing lists.

DEFUNDING OBAMACARE SCHEME CONS
* This probably won’t work and we’ll look stupid.
* The media will make fun of us for pursuing this dumb plan that was never going to work in the first place.
* It could cause Obamacare to cry, and when the American public see his puppy dogs eyes filled with tears, they’ll all be on his side.
* If we keep pushing this, the government could get shut down and then we’ll get blamed for it.
* Everyone will be like, “Why did you shut the government down over this defund Obamacare scheme that was never going to work! Stupid, stupid Republicans!”
* We’ll look like such idiots, it will lead to huge losses in 2014.
* Soon after, the leaderless, internally fighting Republican Party will dissolve, and the two party system will now be the Democrats and the Green Party.
* Eventually, the Green Party will be replaced by the Apes.
* The Apes will soon dominate over the Democrats until we’re all under ape rule. And then we’ll enslave.
* It may not be apes who do this; it may be robots.
* The only traces left of the Republican Party will be the insult, “You’re such a Republican!” which mean “You’re an idiot who pursues stupid plans that will never work and ruin everything for everyone!”
* I don’t think the list ended up as funny as I hoped.

So there are the pros and the cons. We just need to weigh them against each other and pick what we want to do. When we make a decision, does someone have Ted Cruz’s phone number so I can call him up and tell him what’s going on?