Maybe I don’t understand the situation in Syria, but have they tried gun control?

It shouldn’t be our goal to win wars. Wars should be like Minecraft; you just kinda wander around and do random things until you get bored.

If we bomb enough countries in the Middle East, something good is bound to happen.

I believe in the Just War Doctrine.
“Why are you visiting this country? Business or tourism?”
“Neither. Just war.”

John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sammich, invented misogyny.

Oh, John Kerry really is Secretary of State? I just thought that was some joke riff Twitter has been on for the past several months.

With Syria, it’s up to Obama to make the least awful choice since the American people failed at that in the last two presidential elections.

We want America’s enemies to know that if they use chemical weapons, our response against them will be extremely limited.

Maybe Obama could convince more Republicans to side with him if he apologized for his immature, partisan opposition to the Iraq war.

I’m just assuming Obama considers that immature and partisan – squaring it with his rhetoric on Syria, that is.

Obama has learned from Bush’s mistake: Don’t be a Republican when going to war.

Assad, we’re going to mess you up so bad that afterwards you’re going to look like John Kerry.

I’ve been doing a lot of research into Syria and I’ve almost figured out what continent it’s on. It’s either Asia or Africa.

“It’s not a war; we’re just going to drop some bombs on them. Stuff blows up in the Middle East all the time; they don’t care.”

All our dumb chickenhawk arguments from years ago are smart now.

Chris Matthews once tried doing a Sudoku puzzle and his brain overheated and he collapsed into a coma.

Do bicyclists understand that all drivers hate them?