Bloomberg in a Nutshell

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Leave It to the Professionals

Russia’s Foreign Minister warned that the use of force in Syria without a mandate from the UN Security Council would be a “blatant violation of international law”

What’s the UN’s plan? Crush Assad under a pile of resolutions?

We Need a Law to Fix This Problem

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Link of the Day: Why It’s Wrong to Compare Obama to a Rodeo Clown

Link of the Day: Why It’s Wrong to Compare Obama to a Rodeo Clown

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

Three Kinds of Clowns

BONUS LINK: Also from Nuking Politics, Les [High Praise!] has a picture that’s really hard to intro without spoiling. Just go take a peek.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Scanner Shades Disappointed Matthews Shoot

Credit Where It’s Due

So far this year, there hasn’t been a single hurricane in the Atlantic, the slowest start to a hurricane season on record.

Just waiting for Obama to claim it’s a result of his offshore drilling ban healing the planet.

You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “John Kerry Said the Evidence for Climate Change Is “Irrefutable”. Also Irrefutable…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Obama Warned Us – Voices

Nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jan. 8, 2008

“Except every elected Democrat in DC and a passel of sycophantic media stooges.”

Straight Line of the Day: IBM Is Developing a Computer Chip That Mimics the Human Brain. Potential Uses Include…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

IBM is developing a computer chip that mimics the human brain. Potential uses include…

Gimme a “K”

AndroidKitKatThe new Android operating system has been announced. Android 4.4 will be … KitKat. Really.

In case you didn’t know, or just weren’t paying attention, Google names its Android operating systems after snacks, and in alphabetical order. Mostly.

One source says that after the first Android OS, the next release, version 1.1, was codenamed “Petit Four,” which is some kinda French snack cake, but that name isn’t officially listed by Google.

Since then, though, the third one, Cupcake, began the alphabetical snack release: Cupcake, Donut, Eclair, Froyo (frozen yogurt), Gingerbread, Honeycomb (for tablets only), Ice Cream Sandwich, Jelly Bean, and now, KitKat.

Word is that originally, the latest release was going to be Key Lime Pie. Why? Cnet reports:

…”We realized that very few people actually know the taste of a Key lime pie,” said John Lagerling, Android’s director of global partnerships. The flavor of Kit Kats, he said, is more familiar to programmers than Key lime pie…

Seriously? Programmers don’t know what Key Lime Pie tastes like? While, sure, it’s a southern dessert, I’m just stunned that it’s an unfamiliar taste.

What foods with “K” would programmers know about? Ketchup. Krispy Kreme. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Kool-Aid.

Wait. Scratch that last one. I think us iOS users drank all that.

Any good “K” foods that Android should’ve used? Whaddaya think?

Random Thoughts: Least Awful Choice

Maybe I don’t understand the situation in Syria, but have they tried gun control?

It shouldn’t be our goal to win wars. Wars should be like Minecraft; you just kinda wander around and do random things until you get bored.

If we bomb enough countries in the Middle East, something good is bound to happen.

I believe in the Just War Doctrine.
“Why are you visiting this country? Business or tourism?”
“Neither. Just war.”

John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sammich, invented misogyny.

Oh, John Kerry really is Secretary of State? I just thought that was some joke riff Twitter has been on for the past several months.

With Syria, it’s up to Obama to make the least awful choice since the American people failed at that in the last two presidential elections.

We want America’s enemies to know that if they use chemical weapons, our response against them will be extremely limited.

Maybe Obama could convince more Republicans to side with him if he apologized for his immature, partisan opposition to the Iraq war.

I’m just assuming Obama considers that immature and partisan – squaring it with his rhetoric on Syria, that is.

Obama has learned from Bush’s mistake: Don’t be a Republican when going to war.

Assad, we’re going to mess you up so bad that afterwards you’re going to look like John Kerry.

I’ve been doing a lot of research into Syria and I’ve almost figured out what continent it’s on. It’s either Asia or Africa.

“It’s not a war; we’re just going to drop some bombs on them. Stuff blows up in the Middle East all the time; they don’t care.”

All our dumb chickenhawk arguments from years ago are smart now.

Chris Matthews once tried doing a Sudoku puzzle and his brain overheated and he collapsed into a coma.

Do bicyclists understand that all drivers hate them?

Because You Can’t Blackmail an Innocent Man

During an interview with Ezra Klein, Al Gore said that climate change deniers were like “alcoholics”.

And Al’s proposing Prohibition to solve the problem.