[High Praise! to Bad Science via The Ryskind Sketchbook]
Archive of entries posted on 17th September 2013
When It Comes to Obama, Be the Bigger Man. Well, Taller, Anyway
(Dedicated to Springeraz [High Praise!] of Nuking Politics, who emailed me a question about blogging)
My chosen weapon when it comes to fighting Obama – humiliation.
Don’t get mad… get vengefully, mockingly cruel.
Wave to the people, Barack!
Blow them kisses, Barack!
Stand in line for substandard healthcare at a filthy clinic full of junkies and crying babies, Barack!
It’s FREE, Barack!
Baconize Your Dog!
[High Praise! to ThinkGeek]
You know the saying that everything is better with chocolate or bacon? Well dog lovers would probably argue that everything is better with puppies and bacon! This Bacon Pet Costume lets you combine two of the most awesome things on Earth: your love of bacon and your love of your dog.
If you dress your pup up in this Bacon Pet Costume it might be super cute, but it might also scar your furry friend for life. “I don’t understand. Do you want to eat me?” ThinkGeek is not responsible for therapy bills from your pet psychic.
Wanted
Link of the Day: The Many Imaginary Adventures of Cory Booker!
[High Praise! to The Morlock Revolt]
The Many Imaginary Adventures of Cory Booker!
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Fries Ninja Sonic Doghouse Romney
People who squirt ketchup all over their fries instead of dipping them are not people you need in your life.
— antijokeapple (@antijokeapple) September 16, 2013
If I owned a mall, all the mall directories would have red "You are here" people dots, and dozens of black "They are here" ninja dots.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 16, 2013
Sonic? *spits out hamburger* You mean this was made outta hedgehog?
— Sadvil (@crylenol) September 16, 2013
"Looks like I'm sleeping in the doghouse tonight!" – A really secure dog in a loving, committed relationship with its partner
— Nick (@NickBossRoss) September 16, 2013
2012: AAAGHH ROMNEY WILL MAKE GAY TAMPONS ILLEGAL AAAGHHH 2013: Well of course they need to ask about your sex life, they're the government.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 16, 2013
We’re DOOMed!
A new report links teen killers and violent video games.
Still no evidence that playing “Madden NFL 13” turns people into pro football players, though.
Obama Warned Us – American Promise
This country of ours has more wealth than any nation, but that’s not what makes us rich. We have the most powerful military on Earth, but that’s not what makes us strong. Our universities and our culture are the envy of the world, but that’s not what keeps the world coming to our shores. Instead, it is that American spirit – that American promise – that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend.
BARACK OBAMA, DNC speech, Aug. 28, 2008
“And that’s how I intend to lead America – uncertain, bound, and blindered.”
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “An Italian Priest presented Pope Francis with a car. Its most notable feature…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Has Now Drawn a “Red Line” With Iran, Forbidding…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama has now drawn a “Red Line” with Iran, forbidding…
Random Thoughts: Frum, Guns, and Grand Theft Auto
I still wonder how David Frum is supposed to help conservatives influence people when he’s so horrible at influencing conservatives.
I like to stay off Twitter during breaking events so I can get all my misinformation in one sitting instead of piece by piece.
I assume the very end of Breaking Bad will be a fade to black followed by the words “Broke Bad” appearing.
IGN gave a perfect 10 to Grand Theft Auto V
Will there be accountability for people who declare a place a “gun free zone” but do nothing to stop a murderer from entering with a gun?
If you make a place a “gun free zone” but don’t have metal detectors, all you did was make a shooting gallery. #CommonSense
The reviews for GTAV seems to be “It fixes all the major problems from GTAIV… which we also gave a perfect score to.”
Also, I don’t get the Grand Theft Auto series parodying the depravity of American culture when it itself is one of the best examples of that.
So, HTC One or iPhone 5S?
I currently have a 3G HTC Incredible and am in dire need of an upgrade.
So what’s the logic in not allowing people on military bases to carry guns? Don’t we specifically train those people on firearms?
When it’s gun control related, I guess don’t expect logic.
Unless there’s evidence of someone other than the police or the murderer having a gun, shouldn’t it be considered a gun control success?
If you try to disarm me to make me safer I will punch you in the junk to make you more comfortable.
Obama’s Just Upset He Didn’t Think of It First
Russia is stepping up weapons supplies to Syria as part of the deal for Assad to give up his chemical weapons.
Great plan. De-fang the wolf, then buy him dentures.