Do gun safety rules apply to toy guns (orange muzzle tip = toy – see far left side of pic) that don’t have a magazine inserted?
And yeah, if you follow the link, you’ll find some outrage (and also foul language) from the ignorant.
Archive of entries posted on 18th September 2013
8-Bit Batman
Very entertaining if you’ve played a lot of primitive video games AND seen The Dark Knight more than once.
If you don’t fit these criteria, this video will mean nothing to you:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #45,055)
All Part of Obama’s Brilliant Plan
Beginning Oct. 1, any business with at least one employee and $500,000 in annual revenue must notify all employees by letter about the Affordable Care Act’s health-care exchanges, or face up to a $100-per-day fine.
I guess all that extra paper is Obama’s idea of a shuffle-ready job.
Pivot!
[High Praise! to Iowa Jim for this one]
President Obama on Monday seized on the fifth anniversary of the 2008 financial collapse to warn that House Republicans would reverse the gains made and willfully cause “economic chaos” with the uncompromising stands they have staked out on looming budget deadlines.
An angry Obama chastised them by pointing out that that was HIS job.
Link of the Day: Satire – Obama Asks Putin for Help Passing Immigration Reform Through Congress
[High Praise! to The Duffel Blog]
Obama Asks Putin for Help Passing Immigration Reform Through Congress
BONUS LINK:
Hunter of Nuking Politics has re-posted his 2012 piece My Presidential Address to a Special Joint Session of Congress Regarding the Federal Budget, with the formatting and illustrations he always wanted. If you haven’t read it, you need to. If you’ve already read it, you’ll enjoy it just as much on the second read.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Journalist Guns Candy Breaking Whale Detroit
Given shoddy reporting on Navy Yard tragedy, that Senate panel might want to re-visit its "Who is a Journalist?" definition.
— Pat Sajak (@patsajak) September 17, 2013
I find it genuinely curious that the Left, which is normally much smarter than this, has spent 20 years learning nothing about guns.
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) September 17, 2013
How come no one ever blames video games for all the rampant candy crushing in our society?
— CC:Indecision (@indecision) September 17, 2013
Sucks for the characters in Breaking Bad that they can't watch Breaking Bad.
— Tyler Schmall (@tylerschmall) September 17, 2013
A killer whale is just a regular whale that was at the wrong place at the wrong damn time.
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) September 17, 2013
If you want to play Grand Theft Auto 5 wil REALLY good graphics, move to Detroit.
— Rob Fee (@robfee) September 17, 2013
I’ll Bet Arnold Schwarzenegger Uses One In His Next Movie
Now on the market, The Yellow Jacket – a smartphone case that doubles as a mini-taser.
Now you’ll have people enticing muggers just so they can sound cool saying “it’s for you” before zapping them.
Obama Warned Us – American Genius
Part of America’s genius has always been its ability to absorb newcomers, to forge a national identity out of the disparate lot that arrived on our shores.
BARACK OBAMA, The Audacity of Hope
“This forgery must be stopped!”
It’s Always Sunny in Washington DC
Scene: The Oval Office – Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, John Kerry and Bill Clinton are huddled around the desk peering at a laptop.
Kerry: Dudes, you have got to see this Youtube video.
Hillary: Out of my way. I want to see it. I want to see it.
Kerry (to Barack): Keep your foot off the desk, man. Show some respect. This desk was like stolen from the Queen or something. It’s a piece of history.
Biden: Yeah, dude. I think like Ben Franklin swiped it during the Revolutionary War or something, and George Washington wrote like the Constitution on it or something.
Kerry: Yeah, so like, totally get your foot off the desk before I karate chop it off dude. You know I’ll do it. You know I’ll just chop it right off. One blow and pow, right off.
Biden: And you don’t want the Red Eye folks making fun of you for it again. They are brutal. And, dude, I’m pretty sure they figured out that you are one of those lizard people.
Barack: I am not one of those lizard people.
Biden: I can see it in your eyes, man. Right in your eyes. Your slitty, little lizard eyes. Look me in the eyes, dude. Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes. Why won’t you look me in the eyes? I’m just saying.
Bill: You guys are just making a big deal about nothing. Believe me. There have been way worse things on that desk than the bottom of that loser’s shoe. One day I was in here with Monica and Jennifer and her pool boy, for some reason. I can’t remember all of the details. I usually dose myself with roofies afterwards, you know, so I can lie about it more convincingly, but I’ve kind of built up a tolerance, you know, so I retain partial memories. But anyway, the four of us were on the desk, and Imelda was trying out her new camcorder….
Hillary: EW! You do know I am standing right here, don’t you? I don’t want to hear this.
Barack: What? Do you guys hear something? Is somebody talking? What are you even doing still here? I thought we kicked you out of the gang like two years ago, or something.
Biden: Yeah. Why are you here? Go away. You are gross and disgusting, and we don’t want you around anymore.
Hillary: Can we just watch that Youtube video, already? Geez, guys!
Kerry: Oh yeah, we were gonna watch that, then he put his foot on the desk and totally distracted me, man. Dude, like, I am totally serious. Get your foot off of the desk. Get it off right now. Get it off the desk.
Biden: Yeah, get it off the desk. Just get it off.
Kerry: Get it off now. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.
Hillary: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Can you all just shut up so I can watch this video? I mean, guys, come on.
Kerry: Ok, ok. But I got to give you the setup. You know that Sarah Maclachlan commercial with the pets that need help and all that.
Hillary: Oh, I hate that commercial. It is so sad.
Barack: Totally. It makes me want to steal from somebody so I can give their money to that charity.
Hillary: Totally. I stole a bum’s begging can, and I was totally gonna give that money to the animals, but I walked past a Starbucks, and I was really in the mood for a latte.
Kerry: But anyway, dudes, check it out. We’ve been totally had. Taken in by that awful Canadian witch. That commercial is only sad because of the song Sarah is singing in the background.
Barack: No way.
Kerry: Way. Look at this. Someone redid the soundtrack on the commercial and replaced Sarah with Chumbawamba.
Barack: Chumbawamba, dude!
Kerry: Totally! But watch it now.
(They watch it).
Hillary: You were absolutely right. I don’t feel sad at all. No sadness. No sadness. I don’t want to help those dogs at all. No helping. No helping at all.
Barack: That was absolutely adorable. Inspiring. Those dogs got knocked down, but they got up again. Ain’t nothing gonna keep them down. I’m inspired. I think I’m gonna take up jogging.
Hillary: Yeah. Jog right on up to Canada and punch McLachlan right in the face. I can’t believe her. Trying to scam our money like that. For perfectly fine animals.
Kerry: Dudes, you aren’t getting the point. Let’s not be hasty. Both songs might be tricking us, dudes. This is just an example of how the media is messing with our minds, man. Do you want to go punch Chumbawamba in the face?
Barack: No, I guess not.
Hillary: I guess not too. I did hate Sarah McLachlan before this, afterall. It was pre-existing. It was a pre-existing hatred. I have always kinda wanted to punch her in the face.
Barack: Pow, right in the kisser. I see where you are coming from.
Kerry: And those pets really could be abused and starving and stuff.
Biden: Dudes. I got it! This is exactly why I am the primary intellect of the gang. I have the solution. You know those commercials with all of the starving black kids in Africa? You know those? You’ve seen those? Yeah. You have, right?
Barack: Yes, we’ve all seen those. Do you want to change the soundtrack on those too?
Biden: No, no, no. Change the soundtrack on those? Don’t be silly. Change the soundtrack? Why would anyone want to do that? No. Here is what we do. We take all of these sad, abused pets and feed them to the starving black kids. We solve both problems. Both problems solved. Right there.
Hillary: That is an awful idea. That is just disgusting.
Kerry: That is just a terrible, terrible idea Joe. Makes me want to punch you right in the face.
Barack: I don’t know. Kind of makes me really hungry. I can’t stop drooling.
To be continued sometime, maybe, if I feel like it.
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “President Obama Has Now Drawn a “Red Line” With Iran, Forbidding…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Straight Line of the Day: Fox News Announced a New Primetime Lineup, Which Will Include…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Fox News announced a new primetime lineup, which will include…
Know Thy Enemy: AR-15
The Navy Yard shooter has put the AR-15 in the news. Yes, the shooter didn’t use an AR-15 — he took Joe Biden’s advice and used a shotgun — but that didn’t stop newspapers from putting the AR-15 in its headlines because any time there is a shooting, you can’t help but think of that evil evil AR-15. Thus I’ve had my crack research staff find out all they can about the world’s most deadliest weapon.
FUN FACTS ABOUT THE AR-15
* The inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though his patent has since expired.
* Scientists have confirmed the deadly effects of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them.
* Scientists agree that each year the AR-15 will grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world.
* Some believe that Hitler was in fact an AR-15 in a rubber mask.
* In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent, told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome chick.
* The part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more inconvenient to carry.
* It was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance like that.
* Bullets that are normally harmless will kill instantly when fired out of the AR-15.
* The reason AR-15s have that prominent handle on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box.
* If you find yourself surrounded by AR-15, know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear.
* The AR-15 is easily concealable and can fit inside a matchbox.
* The AR-15 is the leading cause of global warming from how its bullets shoot holes in the ozone.
* A very small percentage of gun deaths are attributed to the AR-15 because it is very good at disguising itself as other guns to frame them.
* What are the differences between an M16 and an AR-15? Scientists agree that it is something.
* The AR-15 can be rendered harmless by giving it only a 10 round magazine as people always miss with the first ten rounds and an AR-15 takes an hour and a half to reload.
* The AR-15 can shoot through schools.
* In a battle between Aquaman and an AR-15, Aquaman would break down and buy it so people might think he’s more manly.
* There were no shooting deaths until the invention of an AR-15. No one even considered using a gun to shoot another human being until someone saw an AR-15 and said, “I bet I could use this to kill people.”
* There was an assault musket similar to the AR-15 used by the world’s most evil pirates, but it was pronounced “Arrr-15.”
* The Assault Weapon ban was needed because it is well known that an AR-15 with both a pistol grip and a flash suppressor would be unstoppable by any modern military.
* In Europe there is no such thing as an AR-15 and thus also no such thing as murders. Instead of being violent, people there just drink wine and smoke cigarettes all day.
* If the AR-15 were banned, it’s believed all gun deaths would end because even gun murders that didn’t use the AR-15 were inspired by the evil sight of that gun.
* If you are shot by an AR-15, you become one.
* The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
Sugar Crush
Amsterdam. It’s so know as a city where you can buy some drugs that are illegal here in the States, that there was a Harold and Kumar plot point … and bonus video … about it.
So, with cannabis being easy to obtain, what’s hard to get?
Sugar, if the head of their health service gets his way.
“Just like alcohol and tobacco, sugar is actually a drug. There is an important role for government. The use of sugar should be discouraged. And users should be made aware of the dangers,” he wrote on an official public health website.
Here’s the Web page, translated by the Google.
That’s right. The city where weed is legal wants to ban sugar.
Told you that stuff would make you stupid.
They’ve already done stuff like this in the U.S. Remember the whole “can’t buy a large Coke” thing in New York City?
They aren’t worried about people being addicted to food stamps or Obamaphones. They are worried about people eating a Hershey bar.
Addictive? Sugar?
I can stop any time I want.
I just don’t want.
Random Thoughts: AR-15, Children’s Programming, and Duck Dynasty
“That pirate has an assault musket — an Arrr-15!”
So what percentage of murders are done with an AR-15 to make it get this constant focus?
I understand the AR-15 is scary to look at, but keep in mind it kills no where near as many people per year as swimming pools.
Instead of an “assault weapon” or magazine ban that will do nothing, maybe we can have a mental illness bill that will do nothing.
It’s a crime against humanity you can’t just Google and pull up a link to any Far Side comic when you think of it.
Gary Larson’s campaign to keep his comics off the internet have really helped them be completely forgotten about.
No AR-15 was found on the Navy Yard shooter. AR-15s CAN RENDER THEMSELVES INVISIBLE!!!1!1!!1!!
The R.R. in George R.R. Martin stands for “RoadRunner” because he writes so fast.
I hate all this “be yourself” propaganda in children’s programming.
I hate all this “share with others” propaganda in children’s programming. I have something to share with you, Commie — my fist!
Children’s programming should be nothing but the message that whining makes you worse than Hitler.
Thought my wife was a responsible, caring mother, but when she puts shows on for the kids, she always forget to put Netflix into fullscreen.
I like this Duck Dynasty show, but there’s an important plot point I missed: Why do they hate and want to kill ducks so much?
Unions Trying to Make a Comeback
Facing declining membership, the AFL-CIO is considering allowing non-union workers to join.
Dumb. The market they really need to tap is that growing mass of non-union non-workers.