Straight Line of the Day: In Atlanta, a Woman Claimed her E-Cigarette Exploded and Shot Flames Across the Room. Also Revealed to Be a Dangerously Defective Product…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

63 Comments

  1. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    students of our public school system

    bullsh!t factory of Obama’s brain.

    E-Fart lighter

  2. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    …E-cigarette lighters

    …any and all firearms (according to libs)

    …MSNBC, CNN, et al

    …Miley Cyrus

  3. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    Ice. How many have died because of it, yet Americans are allowed to produce it unregulated anytime they want.

  4. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…
    Mainway Toys Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set, Mr. Skin-Grafter, General Tron’s Secret Police Confession Kit, Doggie Dentist and Johnny Switchblade.

  5. …the E-CondomWarmer

    …bullet proof eye patches.

    …the Ab-Scroller computer mouse exercise program.

    …the Benghazi Intruder Alert and Translator, automatically begs for help while making the Die Infidel Die!!! chants of any dialect understood.

    …India’s Sponge Shoes Flood Prevention Initiative.

  6. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    is the Joe Biden model self-defense shotgun. No matter where you aim it, it just shoots up in the air.
    the nuclear warhead tipped Nerf football.

  7. …also found to be defective :
    ** Mainway’s “Bag Of Broken Glass”, found to be most injurious to those children lucky enough to have received it.
    ** Mainway’s “Johnny Space Helmet”, made from the finest dry-cleaner bags.
    ** “Be Your Own Water Balloon”, a kit to overfill yourself with water and then you throw ‘you’ at someone you don’t like all that much.
    ** “Mr.Technicolor Smile”, an assemblage of food products Guar-on-Teed to make you ‘ralph’ when you so-desire.
    ** “Sure, You Can Drive A Car !”, made for those 3 to 8 year-olds you do not want to disappoint. A real self-esteem builder, and ‘a winner’s ribbon’ is included.

  8. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    anti-smoking zealots that will do anything to try to make even simulated smoking illegal.

  9. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    RINO Republican’s spines. Oh wait, do they have spines?

  10. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product… anything President Obama utters in regards to foreign or domestic policy (does that cover evrything?)

  11. From the gaming department:

    Dem-co playing cards. They’re all the same color, suit, and value.
    Dem-co 1 sided dice. Any way you roll it you’ll always end up a racist.
    Dem-co monopoly. The poorest player at the end wins.

  12. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    …the son produced by Ann Dunham and Barack Obama Sr.

  13. [A serious aside:

    Someone’s apparently got it in for e-cigarettes.

    First this weird story (what are the mechanics involved?) — and then yesterday AP and Fox News (and its affiliates) ran a story about a study that found two percent of children studied admitted trying e-cigarettes, and warned that they “could be” a gateway to tobacco products.

    I have no interest either way here, but — two percent? This is the greatest problem we have to spend national news time on?]

  14. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    …E-cigars, E-pipes, E-bongs, and E-hookahs.

    …E-fart-flame-throwers.

    …again from Atlanta, New Coke.

  15. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    …the paint Obama used to draw HIS red line in the sands of Syria.

    …Obama’s foreign policy crystal ball.

    …Michelle Obama’s “hang ’em high” boob belt.

    …Hillary Clinton’s conscience.

    …Nancy Pelosi’s plastic surgery.

    …Harry Reid’s makeup.

    …John Kerry’s pompadour hair spray.

  16. …the John Kerry Brain Griddle. -For those special moments you want seared in your memory.

    …any school Joe Biden graduated from.

    …Michelle Obama’s school lunch menu. – It’s only healthy if you can keep it down.

  17. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    …Obama Cares Disposable Underwear – for adults experiencing urinary or fecal incontinence.

    …Arab Spring 100% Natural Oasis Water.

    …Arab Fall 100% Natural Street Runoff Water.

    …Arab Summer SPF 1 Sunscreen.

    …Arab Winter Goose Down Filled Burqas.

    …Bashar Pity Pita Bread.

  18. In Atlanta, a woman claimed her E-cigarette exploded and shot flames across the room. Also revealed to be a dangerously defective product…

    …Presidential Cruises to Nowhere – including all the Islamic Country Capitals.

    …Presidential Cruises to Damascus, Syria.

    …Obama Travel featuring On Target Drone Flights and Self-Guided Cruises.

    …Hillary Clinton “What a Difference It Will Make!” Diplomatic Fashionwear

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