The $500 million Obamacare website is the new $500 hammer (except I assume that hammer actually worked).

Why would anyone think we wanted to see a movie about Julian Assange? Even with Benedict Cumberbatch starring?

If you look carefully you can tell when Obama is not confident in what he’s saying because he’ll start doing an Irish stepdance.

Who here thinks Obama actually knows how to identify the “best and brightest”?

The Obamacare website may seem absurdly expensive, but just for reference, my blog cost $80 million to make.

The government can do anything as long as you don’t care how competently it’s done.

Hey, I’m not rooting for the failure of Obamacare! I’ve moved on to celebrating it.

The Obamacare website isn’t so funny when you realize that the same government that made that also handles nuclear weapons.

The Obamacare website not working may be the only thing between us and our insurance premiums skyrocketing.

I bet President Romney would have been able to get a website working.

If I were president, I’d be like, “You better get that website working before I KARATE CHOP YOU IN THE FACE!” I’d be an awesome president.

Obama should have suspected something when his lead developed kept pronouncing HTML “hit-mul.”

Didn’t give me confidence when Obama ended that speech asking the reporters if anyone had the number for the Geek Squad.

I don’t get all this wealth gap whining. If I’m a millionaire, are you supposed to feel real sorry for me if a billionaire has so much more?

I don’t know how much wealth people in this country think they deserve, but I assure you it’s much less than you have now.

“Hey, you, homeless guy ranting on the corner of the street — do you know javascript?” -Obama finding best and brightest

“…and then in frustration, Greg gave up on the website. Did we mention Greg is a pedophile? Obamacare: Saving you from healthy pedophiles.”

“You must sign up to get a hammer to the face or I’ll punch you in the junk — but the website isn’t working yet.” -Obamacare so far

Conservatives don’t wish for Obamacare’s failure anymore than liberals are still wishing for Obama’s reelection.

It will be a dark day for freedom in this country if fascism ever gets skilled with javascript.

I have to say, the fact that there is no upside down to the latest iPhone charger connector is much more convenient than I would have thought.