Cashier just told a guy to “stay cool out there today” like she didn’t see his fanny pack.

— Erica B (@SCbchbum) May 14, 2014

kinda weird that Hitler tried smoking weed for the first time right before starting World War II… or maybe it's not so weird?????

— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) May 14, 2014

Hi, we're Mystery Inc. We investigate ghosts. "Hm. anything else?" We live out of a truck and think our dog can talk "Ok I'm gonna pass"

— sadvil (@crylenol) May 14, 2014

The idea of a suicide pill frightens me, but I could probably handle a chewable

— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) May 14, 2014

I believe it was Jean Paul Sartre who once said, "No, that's Nietzsche you're thinking of."

— dan guterman (@danguterman) May 14, 2014

If the NYTimes pays Baquet more than Ambramson, it's proof they are sexist. If it doesn't, it's proof they are racist AND sexist.

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 14, 2014

Just imagine if we treated our other relationships like we treat the president. "Oh, I know he lies to me about using drugs. I don't care."

— Kevin Eder (@keder) May 14, 2014

I bet Bill Murray could start showing up at parties and casually murdering people for five years before anyone tried to stop him.

— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) May 15, 2014