(Submitted by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!])

In Idaho, a pilot attempting to drop 3,000 ping-pong balls on a fair, missed and dropped them on an interstate, instead.
Let me guess: he used to work IT for HealthCare.Gov?
[High Praise! to io9]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
To the girl crying on this bus:
Stop. If it were ok to cry on the bus, we'd all be doing it.
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) July 29, 2014
I really hope Sharknado 2 doesn't fall prey to the sequel curse.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) July 30, 2014
"man superman is a nerd"
[Superman stands up]
NUH UH
[puts on eyeglasses]
ya what he said
[puts on sunglasses]
ya what superman & Clark said
— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) July 30, 2014
I would be so excited to take a swing at Bieber, I'd probably miss too. #TeamOrlando
— Charly J. (@chuck_dizzle) July 31, 2014
Hamas rockets are landing in Gaza? Those poor people can't even afford enough fuel. 🙁
— Anthonado Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) July 31, 2014
The EPA’s Gina McCarthy said the EPA “protects public health and the environment – how can you not like it?”
They declared your farm a protected wetland because it has a mud puddle – what’s not to like?
“We fall and we rise as one nation — as one people.” —President Obama #OpportunityForAll
@BarackObama
“Ein Volk, ein Reich, etc”
In Los Angeles, a pregnant woman was unable to cross the road to get to a hospital because President Obama’s motorcade was passing through.
Apparently Obama is the exact opposite of a chicken joke.
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A Tennessee restaurant posted “guns welcome” signs and increased business. The restaurant should be named…
Democrat Congressman Luis Gutierrez said that children surrendering themselves to the Border Patrol proves “the border is secure”.
Which is like saying having water in your bailing bucket proves your boat stopped leaking.